Thursday, April 24, 2008

Thursday 13, #6

Today's Topic: 13 Foods I Just Won't Eat.

1. Beef. That's right, I am throwing my trump card out right from the start. I've never really cared for beef, so when I was 17 I decided not to eat it anymore. I specifically remember my last meal that included was a Kobe beef hamburger when I was in Tokyo the summer before my senior year in high school. At least I went out with style!

2. Seafood of any variety. And do NOT even get me started on people who claim to be vegetarian (which, btw, I am not) but still eat fish. Fish is meat, people. It's meat.

3. Pickles. My husband hates that I hate pickles. And, he also loves that I hate pickles because it means more for him.

4. Olives. This is another food my husband LOVES and I loathe. I just do NOT get olives.

5. Mustard. It's not for me. It's yellow. It looks like newborn baby turd. No thanks, really.

6. Tripe. And, by proxy, menudo.

7. Pig's feet. Or ears. Or snouts. Or anything, really. I don't eat pork products. The ONLY exception I will make the the occassional well cooked (read: burnt) piece of bacon with the fatty parts removed.

8. Eggs in any condition other than baked into something, scrambled until they are browned and dry, or hard boiled. Egg yolk running all over my plate and soaking my toast?

9. Cooked mushrooms. I can stomach them sometimes if they are raw and in a salad, or if they are part of a veggie burger. But most of the time mushrooms freak me out. They look like little penis heads, and the dark fiber things under the cap are just not right.

10. Beets. I just am not feeling beets. It kind of pisses me off when I go somewhere and they put them in my salad. I want to pick them out, place them in my napkin, and ask for a tomato slice for each beet I return.

11. Grits. I have this theory about places that serve grits. I think it's just this HUGE moneymaking venture for them. Think about how cheap grits must be. I'm positive they start out powdered. Then think of how much they tack onto the cost of your breakfast because it comes with grits. THEN think of how many people say, "Yeah, I want a number 5, but could I get it with hashbrowns instead of grits?" and then the Waffle House waitress, who just finished the overnight shift at Christy's Cabaret next door, tacks an extra $2.00 on the bill. Viola...Waffle House just hosed your ass!

12. Yams. Or sweet potatoes. Are these the same thing? It doesn't matter, really, because I won't eat them either way. I LOVE potatoes, but I do NOT want them sweet. Ew.

13. Coconut. "I'm a little coconut...sitting on my cocobutt...everybody laughs at me...because I ama a nut you see!" Cute song nonwithstanding, I despise coconut. And it REALLY pisses me off when someone ruins a perfectly good cake/candy/cookie with coconut shavings.

Go ahead...tell me what things YOU won't eat.

View more Thursday Thirteen participants here:


Anonymous said... mention of lips and assholes (hot dogs)? LOL

Mustard, I'll have you know, is the only condiment I like. Ketchup looks like -- well I'll leave that one alone -- but I don't like it. I also will NEVER eat sushi. Raw, uncooked fish FREAKS me out. Fois Gras - some call it a delicacy, I call it animal cruelty for no good reason. I won't ever try it. Truffles (as in, the mushrooms not the chocolate) I don't care HOW rare and expensive they are I won't eat anything with it. Sausage is pretty much on the list too. I don't like sausage. If I am at a BBQ and that's all they have, I'd have to be totally starving and drunk before I'd consider eating it. Anything pumpkin, cinnamon, spice or "harvest" type flavors gross me out. Pumpkin pie, Cinnamon Dolce Lattes, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pancakes at our local breakfast place... Kevin enjoys them all... no thanks I will pass. Black licorice, Good N' Plenty candy or any liquor that tastes like black licorice... no way. Wow I have a longer list than I thought. Maybe I should steal this idea sometime!

Kellie said...

You just freaked me out.
We have the exact list except I eat a couple select types of fish (still quite picky about it though) and mustard. Everything else on your list is absolutely on my will not eat list. Weird.

Crystal said...

I don't think your #6 and #7 should count. Cuz really, who DOES eat them? No one. They are not food.

Mere said...

I could never make a list of 13 things i don't eat unless I am counting these like pig feet and the like - that should not be on your list. The only things I do not like are avocados and raw tomatoes.

Yes - that is it. Those are the only two tings I have ever eat in my life that I truly did not like.

I love all seafood. Including oysters. They taste like an island vacation.

I love beef. I don't eat it much. But, it is the only food item that I truly crave. There are days I crave a bloody piece of beef like a starving wild animal.

I will eat anything. In fact I would eat pig feet if someone asked me to try it.

Oh - as I am writing this I see your friend commented on this: fois gras - when they made that illegal in Chicago and every restaurant was serving it in protest...oh I had it. I had to try it. It was nothing spectacular.

I will eat anything. Anything...and I like most of it.

It is the reason I am chubby. I bar no food.

Muffin Cake said...

Dear Crytsal and Mere,

I can put whateverthefuck I want on my list. Make your own damn list or quit your bitching.

Thanks in advance! Smooches!

Muffin Cake said...

Oh, and people do indeed eat pig's feet. I saw them floating in a giant jar, pickled, at a gas station on my way to Thatcher, AZ. When I cracked a joke about how 'no one could possibly eat those', the locals essentially threatened to have me hanged.

As for Menudo...I defy you to drive past a Fili/Ali/Rolibertos that does not serve is every weekend morning. It's called the Mexican Hangover Cure.

Tabitha said...

It's called the mexican hangover cure... because it is! and it works!

I love me a bowl of menudo! :oP


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