Today's Topic: 13 Foods I Just Won't Eat.
1. Beef. That's right, I am throwing my trump card out right from the start. I've never really cared for beef, so when I was 17 I decided not to eat it anymore. I specifically remember my last meal that included beef...it was a Kobe beef hamburger when I was in Tokyo the summer before my senior year in high school. At least I went out with style!
2. Seafood of any variety. And do NOT even get me started on people who claim to be vegetarian (which, btw, I am not) but still eat fish. Fish is meat, people. It's meat.
3. Pickles. My husband hates that I hate pickles. And, he also loves that I hate pickles because it means more for him.
4. Olives. This is another food my husband LOVES and I loathe. I just do NOT get olives.
5. Mustard. It's not for me. It's yellow. It looks like newborn baby turd. No thanks, really.
6. Tripe. And, by proxy, menudo.
7. Pig's feet. Or ears. Or snouts. Or anything, really. I don't eat pork products. The ONLY exception I will make the the occassional well cooked (read: burnt) piece of bacon with the fatty parts removed.
8. Eggs in any condition other than baked into something, scrambled until they are browned and dry, or hard boiled. Egg yolk running all over my plate and soaking my toast? Um...no.
9. Cooked mushrooms. I can stomach them sometimes if they are raw and in a salad, or if they are part of a veggie burger. But most of the time mushrooms freak me out. They look like little penis heads, and the dark fiber things under the cap are just not right.
10. Beets. I just am not feeling beets. It kind of pisses me off when I go somewhere and they put them in my salad. I want to pick them out, place them in my napkin, and ask for a trade...one tomato slice for each beet I return.
11. Grits. I have this theory about places that serve grits. I think it's just this HUGE moneymaking venture for them. Think about how cheap grits must be. I'm positive they start out powdered. Then think of how much they tack onto the cost of your breakfast because it comes with grits. THEN think of how many people say, "Yeah, I want a number 5, but could I get it with hashbrowns instead of grits?" and then the Waffle House waitress, who just finished the overnight shift at Christy's Cabaret next door, tacks an extra $2.00 on the bill. Viola...Waffle House just hosed your ass!
12. Yams. Or sweet potatoes. Are these the same thing? It doesn't matter, really, because I won't eat them either way. I LOVE potatoes, but I do NOT want them sweet. Ew.
13. Coconut. "I'm a little coconut...sitting on my cocobutt...everybody laughs at me...because I ama a nut you see!" Cute song nonwithstanding, I despise coconut. And it REALLY pisses me off when someone ruins a perfectly good cake/candy/cookie with coconut shavings.
Go ahead...tell me what things YOU won't eat.
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