Apparently, women can't whistle?

I had a funny experience today. I'm widely recognized in my office (ok, as widely as you can be in an office of 5) as 'The Human iPod' because, essentially, I annoy the crap out of co-workers by humming and singing everything from oldies to lullabies to current Top 40s to my favorites (Dylan, Grateful Dead, etc.). ALL DAY LONG. So, it should come as no surprise that I bust out the ocassional whistle as well.

Or, should it?

I was in my office today, amusing myself with a little bit of 'If You're Happy and You Know It', whistled as I worked. My office is at one end of the hall, and at the other end is one of my fabulous co-workers, who moved to the U.S. in the 90s from Jordan. English is his 2nd (perhaps 3rd?) language, so things like our other co-worker's catchphrases ("Goad a sleeping bear", "Bird-dog it.") sometimes have to be explained in layman's terms. One day, he even came into my office with a peach yogurt, and told me it was "Peach for the peachy." Upon further exploration of this statement, I realized he was complimenting my typically sunny demeanor (here is where my husband laughs his ass off).

So you can see why, when I walked by his office whistling merrily, his comment may have taken me off guard. For, when I heard him say to me, "You whistle like a man, Katie.", my first thought was "Well, clearly he didn't mean that."

I stopped abruptly, pivoted on one foot, and said, "I whistle like a what?". He repeated his statement, and I stood there, still and unsure what to say next. Did I ask for clarification? Smile and keep walking? Pretend to understand?

Just then, my other co-worker, another girl, piped in, "I can't whistle at all. You're really quite good."

"Yes," assured Mr. Jordan, "that is what I meant. Everytime you start to whistle I think it is insert name of other male co-worker, but then I realize it is you. Most women do not whistle so well. You whistle like a man."

Huh. I was still not sure how to take this piece of...news?...so I just started to laugh. I suppose maybe that sort of behavior earned me the peachy moniker. Mr. J then assured me that it was a compiment, a good thing indeed that a woman should whistle like a man, for most women, it seems, cannot whistle much at all.

Later, insert name of other male co-worker here came into my office and handed me a sticky note. "Google this man." he said. And google I did. It seems I was now being compared to Ron McCroby, a famous jazz whistler. Observe, and then nod your head and smile, pretenging all along that I could possibly be anywhere NEAR as happening as this cool cat ::snap, snap::



:::jazz hands:::

Go Go Gadget Arms are hereditary.

Observe the optical illusion below:



The first time I saw this picture while thumbing through my memory card, I did a double take. I actually thought, "Holy HELL, is her hand THAT big???" I mean, Luca's always had bigger hands, but this was a bit out of control.

Of course, the answer to the above question is no. Look closer and you'll see it's MY Go Go Gadget Arm creating the illusion.

Disturbingly Funny.

Luca has discovered Miss Piggy's nipples.

Miss Piggy is a dog - our dog. She has been in love with Luca almost from the start, and the older Luca gets the more Piggy loves her. I think she's always felt sort of motherly toward Luca, and when Lu was very little, Piggy would sneak up next to her and give her tiny kisses on her hands and, if we weren't diligent enough about preventing it, her little nose. She seemed to know instinctively to be gentle to her, and has never even seemed to consider being annoyed by Luca's crying or grabbing or poking or pinching.

And pinch she does! You see...Luca has recently discovered that Piggy has nipples. EIGHT of them! On her BELLY! And she can PINCH them! Now, you would think that this would be cause for alarm. Perhaps it would change Piggy's mind about Luca and how much she loves her? Maybe it would annoy Piggy just the teensiest bit? Uh, no. Not at all. In fact, the thing about The Pig is that she is desperate for attention and love. We call her Slut Dog for a reason...she loves anyone and everyone, and will practically BEG people to love her back. So you can see why Pig might be more accepting than some other dogs of the nipple tweaking that's been going on of late. But, more than just being accepting, Pig seems to encourage it. She'll spot Luca on the floor, walk over, gently lie on her side with her belly exposed, and lie there patiently while Luca tweaks away.







The even funnier side to this is that Luca has made the 'belly' connection. So she has now started searching for the nipples on all our bellies as well. She'll tweak a few of the Pig nips, then crawl over and lift the shirt of whoever is nearby. Seeing no belly nips, she gives that person's belly a little happy smack, turns around, and continues to tweak Piggy. And on and on, so on and so forth, until we either make Piggy get up and leave (because, really, at SOME point Piggy's acceptance of this ritual goes from funny to moderately disturbing) or Luca loses interest.

Annnnd....I have a feeling this is one of those stories she will NOT be amused by us sharing when she gets older.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

This is a day to celebrate our mothers, and those moms in our lives who we love. I hope you Moms out there were shown some extra love and attention today!!!



Love you, Mom!

Boy jammies.

In the warmer months (please note, non-Zonies, that 8 months of the year qaulify as 'warmer' in Arizona), we turn our AC down pretty low at night. I have to sleep with a blanket, so as a result I have to make the house cold to sleep. In addition, I've read several times that cold temperatures help prevent SIDS in babies. Now, Luca is outside of the SIDS 'danger zone', but kids can die of SIDS over the age of 1, and you KNOW my ass isn't taking any chances.

So, this leads me to jammies. Luca's room gets colder than any other in the house when the AC is on, so we like her in footed jammies, since a blanket is still not recommended at her age. The problem is, Luca is pretty tall and thin for her age. So, while her 6 month jammies still fit, they aren't long enough and her little legs get all crunched up in them.

We set out a few weeks ago to find some new footed jammies. Would you believe that finding any in 12-18 month size is damn near impossible?!?! The ones I DID find were $25 a piece. *I* don't own $25 jammie, so you can bet my baby won't be owning any either. So we decided to get creative and start looking at the 9 month ones, in hopes of finding some long ones that would work.

We did. Or, rather, Darrick did. And, you know, he asked me first if I cared that they are 'probably for boys', and I said 'Nah, she's just sleeping in them. It doesn't matter what they look like!'

Please note, they are not only red and blue, but they have a dog on the front, and say 'Big Dogs Football'. Yeah.

Sneak Preview.

I've had some friends ask for pictures of Luca's birthday party. Which, you know I'm HAPPY to oblige. But I must say that, for once in my life, I was NOT running around with the camera that day. I was so busy planning and prepping and hosting and hugging that I didn't even REALIZE I wasn't taking pictures until the party was in full swing.

Lucky girl....I have fabulous in laws who have a fabulous camera and took tons and oodles and bedozens of pictures. And I have assurances that a loverly CDROM is on its way to me sometime before my mother in law goes back to NY next Monday. So, my guess is that the GOOD pictures will come from that source. In the meantime, my big brother was kind enough to weild my camera for part of the event, and I was also able to snap some pictures before and after. Here are just a FEW teasers, and once I have more (and most likely better ones) I'll try to work them into a slide show to post.


Grandma helps Luca practice her walking.

Luca helps open her gifts.

The butterfly cakes (white and chocolate) for the guests.

Luca's ladybug cake.

Ladybug cake = Luca's bitch.

Decor.

Family.

More family.

Still more family.

Mommy and Luca eat strawberries.

Signature mat, to have a picture of Luca added once we pick one out!

Skittles in a garden tin, served with a trowel, to match the spring garden theme.

Paper lanterns.

Dear Luca,

Dear Luca,

You're 1. Just writing those words makes me at once immensely proud to be your mom and extremely emotional because I cannot believe you are growing up so fast. It literally feels like mere days ago you were born. In fact, as I write this to you, I think back to this exact time last year (10:34 p.m.), and what was happening for me. I was in labor, and had been for a whole long day. Your Dad and I had been in the hospital for 6 1/2 hours, and we'd finally called our family (your Grandma Eileen, Grandma Cyndy, Grandpa Rick, Uncle Robert and Aunt Jaimi, and Uncle Brandon and his girlfriend Aunt Sydni) to invite them to come down. I know some people might not understand our decision to not invite them down sooner, but we knew this was the MOST special of times for us, and your Daddy and I wanted it to be our family...our little, lovely family, alone together when you were born. So he was with me the whole time I labored, and at the very end, our family - YOUR family - came to be there and welcome you into our world. Not everyone could come, of course. Aunt Ann, who adores you SO much, was in California. Uncle Jim and Uncle Aaron both had to work. And Grandpa Ed, my Dad, wasn't able to come. But they were all there in spirit, and they couldn't wait to meet you!




My labor had started over 24 hours before. It was Cinco de Mayo, and there was a boxing match: De La Hoya vs Mayweather. We went to Grandma and Grandpa Schwartz's house to watch it and be with family. They ordered pizza and the fight on pay per view. I didn't eat much...I didn't feel like eating, and in the back of my mind I thought you might be coming soon. We settled in to watch the fight, and at about 9 p.m. I remember feeling some cramps, and thinking it was probably the pizza talking. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to get everyone excited if this wasn't 'it', but when Daddy and I left that night, we rolled down the car windows and I confessed to him I thought you were on your way. We laughed the whole way home, and then sat in silence in the garage for a few minutes...absorbing the quiet world around us which was soon to be forever changed. Finally, we got out of the car and went inside, and Daddy started timing my contractions. Except...they couldn't be timed yet, so he decided we should go to bed and try to rest. Only, that was NOT happening for me. I couldn't sleep, thinking of you and what was to come, so I decided to take a bath and give myself a good pedicure. I stayed in the tub until the water was no longer hot, then got into some comfy clothes and came down to lay on the couch. I slept off and on between contractions, and was up at 6 a.m. I went up the stairs, woke your Daddy, and he told me to call the Midwife. I called, but she was sure it was not yet time to go to the hospital because I was too calm. So we spent the rest of the day bouncing on the yoga ball and talking and trying to stay relaxed. We finally went to the hospital around 3 p.m., and they had me walk around to help labor progress. We called our moms and let them know we would call when it was ok for them to come down.

Hours later, there we were, looking at our family and knowing you were about to come into our world. Janice (the wonderful midwife who delivered you) came in and said it was time, so everyone else left, and it was just us (ok, really there were nurses there too, but it felt like just us to me). It took just over an hour for you to come into this world, and at 12:10 a.m. when Janice lifted you onto my chest, I couldn't find words to express how I felt. I was in shock, and I remember saying, "I did that." I've never done anything more perfect than having you.




Luca, you are everything a mom could ask for and more. Everywhere we go, people comment on your beauty. And you are a beautiful baby girl. Your eyes get the most compliments, because they are so large and expressive and your lashes are so long. And, because those eyes are so aware, so in tune. You have always been awake to the world around you, and those eyes are wiser and more alert than people expect in a baby so young. People also comment on how small you are, my little sprout. And when you were newly born, it made me sad and scared and worried and insecure to hear those comments. I feared I'd done something - was doing something - wrong and your size was a sign of that. But as you grow, you stay our little woodland fairy, and I know it's just how the universe made you. You are beautiful the way you were made, and I hope you remember that as you get older. I hope you never forget.






More than being beautiful though, I hope you grow up to be smart and kind and funny. How I hope for you to be funny! I hope you see the world as your playground and as your responsibility. I hope you care about others and always remember to be kind, most of all to the people you love. I know that's a lot to ask of a little baby, but you have time to learn those things. And what I see of you tells me I need not worry: you will be all these things and so much more than I can imagine. You are my heart outside my body, Luca. Your Daddy and I love you more than we knew possible, and we always knew we'd love you more than time and space itself. Sometimes it feels like there's not enough room in the world for the love we feel for you...like it will come and steal the air from the room. There are moments of pure beauty, moments when you reach out to touch my face or unexpectedly trace your tiny fingers over the back of hand. In those moments I think I created something that is perfect, and I can't imagine my life getting any more full or complete.



This past year has been the best time of our lives. You were born, and we realized you were the thing that we were missing in our lives. Your Daddy and I love each other very much, and we know we are so lucky to have each other and to have you. And, about your Daddy? He adores you and loves you and protects you like no Daddy I've ever known. I don't think he even knew how much capacity for love he had, until the first moment he held you in his arms. You are the mini female version of him, and everyone says so all the time, and he just swells with pride. And why wouldn't he? You have helped make his life just that much more rich and complete.




You're 1, and I cannot believe it. This year has been so magical for us. People always say having a baby is hard work, and so sometimes I wonder if we just got off easy this time around. You have your moments, for sure, where I feel like it's more work than anything else. But those moments are rare, and eclipsed entirely by the hours and days of joy and love and happiness you bring to us, to our family. I feel lucky to be your mom, blessed to be married to your Daddy, and surrounded by the love of so many people.

Your birthday party was on Sunday. You'll never remember it, but one day you'll look back at the pictures. What will you see? Your Mommy and Daddy helping you open gifts. Your Great Grandma holding you on her lap. Your uncles helping ensure that you REALLY smash your ladybug cake. People and candy and gifts and cake. I see those things, but I also see our little community of people who love you more than words can say. You are lucky Luca, and we are as well, because we have so very many people rooting for us and supporting us. You make so many people happy, Luca. That may be the best gift of all.




I don't know what I ever did to get so lucky. But I am thankful every day that you're mine...you're ours.

Happy Birthday, Little One! Thank you for being my little sprout!

Love, Your Mommy!

Tiny Dancer

I am SO not a girly girl. Let's lay that out there. The last time I wore a skirt was when I was pregnant, and THAT was only because I had to weigh in at the Dr and the skirt weighed less than jeans. Luca's not one of those girls who's outfitted in super girly stuff either, although she does wear dresses fairly often because they fit her better than pants.

Anyhow. I went to Michael's yesterday to get some stuff for her birthday party, and found a tutu. A bright pink tutu, to be exact. And you KNOW my ass grabbed that sucker right off the rack and bought it. So, friends, YOU get to reap the cuteness rewards. Enjoy! And Jaimi, that third one down's just for you!

Weekend Cuteness

Thursday 13 #7

13 Things I Was Doing This Time Last Year:

1. Waiting to go into labor. Duh. My due date was May 6 according to my calcualtions, May 8 according to the Dr's. I was not one of those pregnant women who was eager to get it over with. In fact, I really enjoyed pregnancy. BUT, I was getting anxious because one other thing I was doing was...

2. ...prepping for Darrick to graduate! He got his Bachelors on May 11th. So you can see why I was getting anxious by May 1st last year...all I kept seeing was a mental picture of my VERY pregnant self walking down the steps at the crowded ASU graduation and my water breaking EVERYWHERE. Or, me being in the hospital mid-delivery right when Darrick was supposed to be walking. Thank goodness it all worked out!

3. Going into Last Minute Purchase mode. This is where soon-to-be parents have everything they need, and then some, but run about buying random crap just because maybe they need it or it looks cool. Hotsling we never used b/c it was a scratchy fabric? Check. Yet another package of onesies? Check. A second diaper bag, more crib sheets, and a few rattles? Check, check, check.

4. Checking for signs of labor. Everyone told me all the things I should look for...and none of them appeared until the night I actually went into labor. Even my water didn't break until 8 cm.

5. Trying desperately to FOCUS at work and get loose ends tied up.

6. Daydreaming about maternity leave.

7. Worrying about how we would afford maternity leave.

8. Washing baby clothes and car seat fabrics and bassinets and blankets and more.

9. Going out on long walks every night, and then envisioning how the scenario would play out if I went into labor on some random street in my neighborhood and had to call for help.

10. Bouncing on the yoga ball. And bouncing. And more bouncing. The yoga ball bouncing helps move the baby down and into the right position. Plus, it's comfy.

11. Wondering if Luca would end up being Luca or if we'd change our minds last minute. Also wondering what color hair and eyes she would have. My guesses: brown and green. The realilty: blonde and blue.

12. Eating far more Snickers Blizzards than a normal human being should be allowed to consume.

13. Dreaming of my baby.