I've heard it said before that you will never forget the day you give birth. That no memory, no single moment nor collection of minutes, hours, feelings, emotions, sensations will ever be more vivid a memory than giving birth.
I never knew if that was true, although it has become a truth in my life. There was a moment during Rohan's birth, when I was deep into the work of laboring sitting on my knees with my arms draped over the side of the pool. Darrick was there - always there, through every contraction and expletive and smile and stolen moment of calm between contractions - but there was also this pair of hands, holding a little tube which was feeding me extra oxygen. The tube was there, inches from my face, just as a precautionary measure. It's not so much the oxygen I remember - though I do, from the hissing sound it made to the mildly sweet flavor it had - it was the hands holding it.
Those hands I remember so vividly, though I'm positive I never even opened my eyes to look at them. Still, I could 'see' them with my eyes closed, and they comforted me. When I had a brief moment of panic in the overall calm that was the birth, those hands touched my head...my hair...and the voice attached to them urged me on, gently but firmly telling me I was doing what needed to be done, and prefectly at that. Assuring me that I would make it through. I remember the smell of those hands (hands which had been interrupted mid-dinner prep to come to the birth, and thus smelled like garlic and something else...maybe butter?...and so it's a good thing I love the smell of garlic). I remember the feel of them, as they brushed my cheek, touched my hair. And I remember the person attached to them as she held me up with her words, quietly reminding me of two distinct truths. That what I was doing in that moment was my work alone, and that I was strong and powerful and capable and that this was my story I was writing, and Rohan's and Darrick's and Luca's and we would own it forever and take it with us through life as we shared it with friends and family and someday our grandkids. And, as perfectly opposite though it may be, that this moment was but another of millions of moments in time when a woman and people she loved and who loved her had gathered to welcome a life into the world, and while it was unique and special in a million trillion ways, in the scope of history it was unremarkable and NORMAL.
I hope to be like my Grandma someday. At 91 she still remembers the births of all 3 of her kids. And my mom will tell me that HER mom has the stories jumbled and the facts mixed up and out of order and warn me not to believe everything Grandma says because, after all, she is a confused old woman. But I don't buy that. I think what 'they' say is true, and that even when she's forgotten which kid had reflux, which one hid a dead mouse under her bed, and which was friends with the girl down the street whose dad owned the donut shop, my Grandma will remember the day her kids were born. Because it was both the most remarkable and the most ordinary day of her life.
Showing posts with label Midwives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Midwives. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Processing at Month 1.
I've spent a lot of time in the past month thinking over Rohan's birth. It all went so fast that it was a wild ride I was taken on, and as a result I didn't have much time AS it was happening to really stop and take note of things. But now that Rohan is a month old, I've had a few thoughts I want to get down, just for posterity. In no particular order:
1. I am so amused at the fact that the morning Rohan was born, I posted a blog entry about how nothing was happening and how good I felt. And then I made a cheeky comment about all the cramping I'd had previous nights possibly meaning a shorter labor. And I was KIDDING...so very not serious, since labor with Luca was 27 hours. Who would have guessed I'd be right....?
2. I was also laughing because my mom and I were talking on our way home from shopping and lunch that day (around noon) about how I was having cramps. I told her I'd had them for about a week every night, but they would go away, and that I was sort of hoping they would mean a faster labor. "But not TOO fast," I enthused. "I'm not hoping for a whirlwind 3 hour labor, but I'd be happy for 8 oe 12 hours." I had Rohan in my arms a mere 4.5 hours later. Hmmm.
3. I think what 'they' say is true about needing to be in the right situation for your body to really LET labor happen. I was contracting, but when I spoke to my MW at about 1:30, I was able to talk to her THROUGH a contraction that was 2 minutes after the prior one. I was also able to take some laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer and to sit on the floor with my friend and her beautiful 8 month old and have a conversation. It wasn't until I saw my husband's face as he came to check on me in the bathroom that it hit me like a ton of bricks that I WAS in labor. Seeing him lifted a weight, and made me feel safe and ready to give birth. From that point on, there was no going back. I was IN LABOR, and hard labor at that.
4. I think it's funny how many people have said they envy my fast labor. First, because I actually wish labor had been a bit longer. I wanted time to use the birth pool to relax. I wanted to be able to hang out with Luca a bit and see how she was handling watching me in labor, rather than having to make a snap decision to get her out of the house. I wanted to walk through contractions and use my birth ball. And, I admit, I REALLY wanted a labor that lasted long enough that I could get some back rubs and hair brushing out of my husband between contractions.
5. I've been wondering what the experience was like for Darrick. The day after, he told me he dreamed about the birth that night, and that he couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't think to ask what he meant, until today. He told me his memory of the birth is peace. He felt at ease and safe and happy, and he was never worried about how it would turn out. He was proud. He was at peace. That made me smile.
6. My only real regrets as far as things I had some control over were that I didn't call and have Darrick come home sooner (like around noon when I was pretty sure this was going to be the day but still thinking I must have HOURS left) and that I didn't open my eyes and see Rohan as he was born. I wish I'd asked my MW and her apprentices to tell me to open my eyes.
7. One more thing about the speed of this labor. Even if I HAD planned on going to the hospital, I'm fairly certain I never would have realized I truly was in labor and made it there in time to get an IV and pain meds. And then I would have been birthing pain-med free in an uncomfy bed. No thanks.
8. I always felt like having this baby at home was the right thing. I never really worried about things going wrong or complicating the pregnancy or birth. I knew transfers happen to some people sometimes, but I never even entertained the thought that I could be 'some people'. I just expected things to go 100% fine and I am SO glad I believed in that. For one, if I'd been under the care of an OB and consistently measuring 1-2 weeks ahead (as I did this entire pregnancy), I probably would have been given an ultrasound to measure baby. And they probably would have guessed him to be pretty large and pushed me for either an induction or a c-section. I would have said no, but I don't know how successful I would have been at fending it off. Say I WAS successful, and ended up going into labor on my own in a hospital and he had that nuchal hand (nuchal hand = hand by the face, which he did indeed have). I knew he was stuck for a few minutes, since I could feel myself pushing but him not moving. My MW handled it by trying to help me push more effectively and by recognizing what was happening and pulling his hand out so he could be born without it impeding progress. Would an OB have done the same? Or would an OB have either pushed for a c-section OR done an episiotomy and then used a vacuum to pull Rohan out? And if the OB HAD used the vacuum, would Rohan's cephalohematoma (which resolved totally on its own by 1 month) have been worse...possibly even causing a skull fracture as they sometimes do when caused by a vacuum? I don't know...but I am damn glad I trusted my body and my MW trusted my baby and me, and I don't HAVE to know the answers to those questions. Once I had time to really THINK about all the different ways this birth could have played out with an OB and a hospital, I knew I made the right choice birthing at home.
I'm still in awe. Honestly, after this experience, in spite of the pain that comes with birth, I almost wish Darrick didn't want to stop at 2 kids. I would love to do this again.
1. I am so amused at the fact that the morning Rohan was born, I posted a blog entry about how nothing was happening and how good I felt. And then I made a cheeky comment about all the cramping I'd had previous nights possibly meaning a shorter labor. And I was KIDDING...so very not serious, since labor with Luca was 27 hours. Who would have guessed I'd be right....?
2. I was also laughing because my mom and I were talking on our way home from shopping and lunch that day (around noon) about how I was having cramps. I told her I'd had them for about a week every night, but they would go away, and that I was sort of hoping they would mean a faster labor. "But not TOO fast," I enthused. "I'm not hoping for a whirlwind 3 hour labor, but I'd be happy for 8 oe 12 hours." I had Rohan in my arms a mere 4.5 hours later. Hmmm.
3. I think what 'they' say is true about needing to be in the right situation for your body to really LET labor happen. I was contracting, but when I spoke to my MW at about 1:30, I was able to talk to her THROUGH a contraction that was 2 minutes after the prior one. I was also able to take some laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer and to sit on the floor with my friend and her beautiful 8 month old and have a conversation. It wasn't until I saw my husband's face as he came to check on me in the bathroom that it hit me like a ton of bricks that I WAS in labor. Seeing him lifted a weight, and made me feel safe and ready to give birth. From that point on, there was no going back. I was IN LABOR, and hard labor at that.
4. I think it's funny how many people have said they envy my fast labor. First, because I actually wish labor had been a bit longer. I wanted time to use the birth pool to relax. I wanted to be able to hang out with Luca a bit and see how she was handling watching me in labor, rather than having to make a snap decision to get her out of the house. I wanted to walk through contractions and use my birth ball. And, I admit, I REALLY wanted a labor that lasted long enough that I could get some back rubs and hair brushing out of my husband between contractions.
5. I've been wondering what the experience was like for Darrick. The day after, he told me he dreamed about the birth that night, and that he couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't think to ask what he meant, until today. He told me his memory of the birth is peace. He felt at ease and safe and happy, and he was never worried about how it would turn out. He was proud. He was at peace. That made me smile.
6. My only real regrets as far as things I had some control over were that I didn't call and have Darrick come home sooner (like around noon when I was pretty sure this was going to be the day but still thinking I must have HOURS left) and that I didn't open my eyes and see Rohan as he was born. I wish I'd asked my MW and her apprentices to tell me to open my eyes.
7. One more thing about the speed of this labor. Even if I HAD planned on going to the hospital, I'm fairly certain I never would have realized I truly was in labor and made it there in time to get an IV and pain meds. And then I would have been birthing pain-med free in an uncomfy bed. No thanks.
8. I always felt like having this baby at home was the right thing. I never really worried about things going wrong or complicating the pregnancy or birth. I knew transfers happen to some people sometimes, but I never even entertained the thought that I could be 'some people'. I just expected things to go 100% fine and I am SO glad I believed in that. For one, if I'd been under the care of an OB and consistently measuring 1-2 weeks ahead (as I did this entire pregnancy), I probably would have been given an ultrasound to measure baby. And they probably would have guessed him to be pretty large and pushed me for either an induction or a c-section. I would have said no, but I don't know how successful I would have been at fending it off. Say I WAS successful, and ended up going into labor on my own in a hospital and he had that nuchal hand (nuchal hand = hand by the face, which he did indeed have). I knew he was stuck for a few minutes, since I could feel myself pushing but him not moving. My MW handled it by trying to help me push more effectively and by recognizing what was happening and pulling his hand out so he could be born without it impeding progress. Would an OB have done the same? Or would an OB have either pushed for a c-section OR done an episiotomy and then used a vacuum to pull Rohan out? And if the OB HAD used the vacuum, would Rohan's cephalohematoma (which resolved totally on its own by 1 month) have been worse...possibly even causing a skull fracture as they sometimes do when caused by a vacuum? I don't know...but I am damn glad I trusted my body and my MW trusted my baby and me, and I don't HAVE to know the answers to those questions. Once I had time to really THINK about all the different ways this birth could have played out with an OB and a hospital, I knew I made the right choice birthing at home.
I'm still in awe. Honestly, after this experience, in spite of the pain that comes with birth, I almost wish Darrick didn't want to stop at 2 kids. I would love to do this again.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Trusting the Mom in Me.
It's taken some time, and one beautiful, healthy, sparkling and brilliant toddler to teach me this lesson: how to trust the Mom in Me. Motherhood is a great challenge in many ways, but in so many more it's the greatest joy. It teaches you the depths of your love and appreciation for others (your child, your spouse, the people your kids call 'uncle' and 'aunt' or 'grandma' and 'grandpa'), and if you pay enough attention it can teach you to love and appreciate yourself even more.
When Luca was born, she was 6 lb, 7 oz. I remember when they told us what she weighed, Darrick and I both responded with shock, and asked if they were sure. The whole time I was pregnant, I heard over and over "That is going to be a BIG baby!", and I believed it. Neither my husband nor I are petite and delicate, and we come from families chock full of tall people, curvy people, strong and able people. So when Luca came out well under 7 pounds, we were genuinely surprised. And that was just the beginning of a long couple of weeks of constant worry, stress, crying, fear, doubt, and guilt. Because no matter how hard I tried...how many times I nursed her in 24 hours (and believe me, it was A LOT of times!)...how many pumping sessions I fit in when I should have been napping...how many friends and lactation consultants and kind ears I talked to, she did not gain weight easily. It took her more than 3 weeks to return to her puny birthweight, and in that 3 weeks she went to the Pediatrician about every 3 days to have her weight checked. Those appointments were great stressors for me and for Darrick, and I can only imagine Luca's little newborn self was stressed by them as well. She would cry, I would cry, and I'd leave frustrated and feeling inadequate because despite my best intentions I could not seem to get my baby to gain weight by breastfeeding. I was at a loss to why I was 'broken' and disappointed in myself. Surely, I must be doing SOMETHING wrong or, worse, there must be something wrong with ME, if I couldn't get this to work.
By the time she was a month old, Luca was slowly gaining, but it took until she was 9 months old for her to get over the 5th percentile in weight. I got comments all the time from people who fussed over how small she was or couldn't believe she wasn't a preemie. It killed me inside. I tried pumping to increase supply. Supplements (fenugreek, blessed thistle, mother's milk tea) to increase supply. Food (oatmeal and 2 eggs every morning without fail) to increase supply. I was resigned to supplementing with pumped milk and (reluctant small doses of)formula. And I felt like I was broken the entire time.
Luca weaned herself right around 11 months. A huge part of me felt immense pride that I'd faced all those obstacles and managed to nurse her for so long. But a bigger part felt like I'd been robbed of what I had hoped would be a beautiful and natural experience. Breastfeeding was something I wanted to do for my baby's health, for myself, and for the ease and convenience. Instead, it took over my life in many ways. I feel pride now when I hear Luca say a new word or see her smile and I think "MY body made her, my body grew her, and my body fed her for 11 months.", but I worry that pride will forever be overshadowed with memories of the difficulty, tears, and self-doubt.
I went into this pregnancy, in spite of all of that, knowing I would breastfeed again. I know it seems like an odd choice, like I am some kind of lactating masochist, but I just thought this baby deserved as much of an effort on my part as Luca did. I know many, many women who formula feed their beautiful and brilliant babies and it works for them, and I fully support the right of a parent to decide what works for them and what they are comfortable with. But for me, breast IS best, and I think a baby deserves my time and effort to give them the best. If not now, when they are tiny and I am their world, when? And I'm so happy I decided that, because my experience this time has renewed my belief in myself. I could attribute this success to a lot of things.
First, I know what I am doing. This makes a WORLD of difference for me. I knew what my challenges would be, and how to move past them. I didn't stress when we had latch issues, because I knew how to work with them. I wasn't worried when he got lazy and fell asleep while nursing because I could wake him and keep him going. I didn't mind the endless marathon hours of sitting on the couch with a baby attached to me, because I knew this was what I needed to let him do so he could help my milk come in and so he could learn what HE was doing. It's just much easier to have perspective when you have...well...perspective, if that makes sense.
Second, he knew (somewhat) what he was doing. Luca was not a natural nursing. It took a lot for her to 'get' it, and with me not knowing what *I* was doing, it was the uphill battle to trump all other uphill battles. I had to help her a lot, and nursing was tiring and something I sort of dreaded until she was almost 4 months old. Rohan 'got' it more quickly. In fact, the first time I tried to nurse him, he latched right on.
Third, I had people around me at the birth who supported nursing and helped make it happen. My MW has 7 kids, all of whom she breastfed. Her apprentices, between them, have at least 7 more (one apprentice I never asked, but the other two have 5 kids and 2 kids), all breastfed. They supported me and advised me. In fact, one of the women there helped me get Rohan latched for the first time by giving me the simplest of directions. Does that ever happen to you? You're trying and trying to do something, and suddenly someone says, "Do X and it'll work." and you think "Yeah, like it's THAT easy?" and...lo and behold...it IS that easy? Anyhow, in addition to them, Darrick was there and supporting me. In contrast, at the hospital with Luca I had minimal help and no consistency to it.
Fourth, I was able to nurse right away, basically. I gave birth, got out of the tub and got warm, and went straight to feeding my baby. With Luca, more than 3 hours passed between her birth and my first attempt at nursing her. Those three hours were critical and I am sad I can never get them back.
Which brings us back to the central issue in this post. Breastfeeding was going well and I was feeling confident, and then I had to take Rohan to the Pediatrician. On my MW's scale, he was 8 lb 12 oz at birth. At his 2 day check up with the Pedi, he was 8 lb 3 oz. She wasn't worried, as it's normal for newborns to lose up to 10% of their birthweight, so long as they regain it by about 2 weeks, or put on 0.5 - 1 oz per day. Well, we returned to the Pedi (to have his cephalohematoma checked) at 4 days, and he was up to 8 lb 5oz. Smashing, no? Fast forward to a week later (11 days), and he was...8 lb 5 oz. Seven days with no gain and suddenly I was having flashbacks. This Pedi (same practice, different Dr from Luca's) wasn't overly concerned, but asked us to come in a week later to recheck his weight. All I could imagine was twice a week visits where I stressed, they pushed formula at me, I cried in my car on the way home, and I was ashamed to tell people I was supplementing.
We left the appointment, and I was surprised because though I was stressed over the scale not moving, I was not feeling lost and in despair like I had with Luca. For some reason, I just KNEW everything was ok. He was eating well and had all the signs of a healthy baby. I said to Darrick (and anyone else who would listen) that I thought maybe this was just how my kids were...perhaps I didn't MAKE chubsters? Perhaps my kids don't GET fat and happy? Perhaps there was nothing to worry about at all, and just like Luca is healthy and brilliant and beautiful despite her skinny start, maybe Rohan will be too?
And so I thought a lot about it that weekend, and on Monday I called my MW to talk. I explained to her what was going on and how Rohan was doing, and I asked for her expert input. She assured me that I could be right...that perhaps I didn't make chubsters and my kids don't get fat and just like Luca is healthy and brilliant and beautiful despite her skinny start, so might Rohan be. She cited studies on breastfed vs formula fed babies, mentioned how breastfed babies tend to be thinner b/c they process mom's milk more efficiently than formula, etc. And then she offered to have us come by and have him weighed on her scale...the same one he'd been weighed on shortly after birth...to see how he was doing. I agreed.
I took him to see her when he was 16 days old. We chatted, I nursed him while she and her two apprentices peeked in to be sure his latch was good, she snuggled him and cooed over him, and then he was weighed. Eight pounds, twelve ounces. He weighed exactly what he had at birth...and exactly what he SHOULD at 2 weeks. Victory!!! I called and cancelled his follow-up appointment for that Friday. Darrick was a bit worried. He fully supported me cancelling the appointment (primarily because we have a $25 copay and that man will stop short at almost nothing to save some cash!) but he started making comments here and there about how there is nothing WRONG with supplementing and how we have 2 free cans of formula in the kitchen (thanks for your faith in women, Similac) and he didn't mind making bottles, etc etc etc. I told him thanks but no thanks. I told him if he thought my supply was low, I'd pump and we could feed Rohan what I pumped. I told him, "You know what I think? I think I never even HAD a problem when Luca was born. I don't think I was broken at all, but that I let my spirit be broken by worry and fear. I won't let that happen this time. I just KNOW Rohan is ok."
So we pumped and fed bottles after I nursed. Only once a day most days, but enough to appease the hubby and assure us both I AM indeed making plenty of milk. And I refused to stress out over how much he was or was not gaining. I just had faith he would be ok. The Mom in Me knew it to be true.
Rohan had a 1 month appointment this morning. He is 32 days old. When we put him on the scale, I almost squeeled with joy to see that he weighed 9 lbs, 12 oz. In 21 days, he gained 1 lb, 7 oz. His Pedi wanted to see him gain at least 25 grams per day, and he gained 33! The Mom in Me knew he was ok...knew I was doing right by him...knew there was nothing to be gained from stressing and worrying and doubting myself and my body and my baby.
This is an art I am learning. I am discovering ways to shut out the noise of other people, as well-meaning as they may be. I am figuring out ways to be true to me and do what I know to be best for my kids. I won't win all the battles (let's not even talk about circumcision) and I won't always be right, but I am learning that I can trust myself. I'm learning that, as far as moms go, I happen to be a pretty kick-ass one! And I think I'm giving a real gift to my kids in trusting myself and listening to my own voice. Not only will they grow up with a mom who's true to herself, but they will also grow up with a mom who trusted THEM to fulfill their part of the equation. I am really learning to embrace the challenges of motherhood and not compare my experience and those of my kids to the experiences of others. It's freeing.
When Luca was born, she was 6 lb, 7 oz. I remember when they told us what she weighed, Darrick and I both responded with shock, and asked if they were sure. The whole time I was pregnant, I heard over and over "That is going to be a BIG baby!", and I believed it. Neither my husband nor I are petite and delicate, and we come from families chock full of tall people, curvy people, strong and able people. So when Luca came out well under 7 pounds, we were genuinely surprised. And that was just the beginning of a long couple of weeks of constant worry, stress, crying, fear, doubt, and guilt. Because no matter how hard I tried...how many times I nursed her in 24 hours (and believe me, it was A LOT of times!)...how many pumping sessions I fit in when I should have been napping...how many friends and lactation consultants and kind ears I talked to, she did not gain weight easily. It took her more than 3 weeks to return to her puny birthweight, and in that 3 weeks she went to the Pediatrician about every 3 days to have her weight checked. Those appointments were great stressors for me and for Darrick, and I can only imagine Luca's little newborn self was stressed by them as well. She would cry, I would cry, and I'd leave frustrated and feeling inadequate because despite my best intentions I could not seem to get my baby to gain weight by breastfeeding. I was at a loss to why I was 'broken' and disappointed in myself. Surely, I must be doing SOMETHING wrong or, worse, there must be something wrong with ME, if I couldn't get this to work.
By the time she was a month old, Luca was slowly gaining, but it took until she was 9 months old for her to get over the 5th percentile in weight. I got comments all the time from people who fussed over how small she was or couldn't believe she wasn't a preemie. It killed me inside. I tried pumping to increase supply. Supplements (fenugreek, blessed thistle, mother's milk tea) to increase supply. Food (oatmeal and 2 eggs every morning without fail) to increase supply. I was resigned to supplementing with pumped milk and (reluctant small doses of)formula. And I felt like I was broken the entire time.
Luca weaned herself right around 11 months. A huge part of me felt immense pride that I'd faced all those obstacles and managed to nurse her for so long. But a bigger part felt like I'd been robbed of what I had hoped would be a beautiful and natural experience. Breastfeeding was something I wanted to do for my baby's health, for myself, and for the ease and convenience. Instead, it took over my life in many ways. I feel pride now when I hear Luca say a new word or see her smile and I think "MY body made her, my body grew her, and my body fed her for 11 months.", but I worry that pride will forever be overshadowed with memories of the difficulty, tears, and self-doubt.
I went into this pregnancy, in spite of all of that, knowing I would breastfeed again. I know it seems like an odd choice, like I am some kind of lactating masochist, but I just thought this baby deserved as much of an effort on my part as Luca did. I know many, many women who formula feed their beautiful and brilliant babies and it works for them, and I fully support the right of a parent to decide what works for them and what they are comfortable with. But for me, breast IS best, and I think a baby deserves my time and effort to give them the best. If not now, when they are tiny and I am their world, when? And I'm so happy I decided that, because my experience this time has renewed my belief in myself. I could attribute this success to a lot of things.
First, I know what I am doing. This makes a WORLD of difference for me. I knew what my challenges would be, and how to move past them. I didn't stress when we had latch issues, because I knew how to work with them. I wasn't worried when he got lazy and fell asleep while nursing because I could wake him and keep him going. I didn't mind the endless marathon hours of sitting on the couch with a baby attached to me, because I knew this was what I needed to let him do so he could help my milk come in and so he could learn what HE was doing. It's just much easier to have perspective when you have...well...perspective, if that makes sense.
Second, he knew (somewhat) what he was doing. Luca was not a natural nursing. It took a lot for her to 'get' it, and with me not knowing what *I* was doing, it was the uphill battle to trump all other uphill battles. I had to help her a lot, and nursing was tiring and something I sort of dreaded until she was almost 4 months old. Rohan 'got' it more quickly. In fact, the first time I tried to nurse him, he latched right on.
Third, I had people around me at the birth who supported nursing and helped make it happen. My MW has 7 kids, all of whom she breastfed. Her apprentices, between them, have at least 7 more (one apprentice I never asked, but the other two have 5 kids and 2 kids), all breastfed. They supported me and advised me. In fact, one of the women there helped me get Rohan latched for the first time by giving me the simplest of directions. Does that ever happen to you? You're trying and trying to do something, and suddenly someone says, "Do X and it'll work." and you think "Yeah, like it's THAT easy?" and...lo and behold...it IS that easy? Anyhow, in addition to them, Darrick was there and supporting me. In contrast, at the hospital with Luca I had minimal help and no consistency to it.
Fourth, I was able to nurse right away, basically. I gave birth, got out of the tub and got warm, and went straight to feeding my baby. With Luca, more than 3 hours passed between her birth and my first attempt at nursing her. Those three hours were critical and I am sad I can never get them back.
Which brings us back to the central issue in this post. Breastfeeding was going well and I was feeling confident, and then I had to take Rohan to the Pediatrician. On my MW's scale, he was 8 lb 12 oz at birth. At his 2 day check up with the Pedi, he was 8 lb 3 oz. She wasn't worried, as it's normal for newborns to lose up to 10% of their birthweight, so long as they regain it by about 2 weeks, or put on 0.5 - 1 oz per day. Well, we returned to the Pedi (to have his cephalohematoma checked) at 4 days, and he was up to 8 lb 5oz. Smashing, no? Fast forward to a week later (11 days), and he was...8 lb 5 oz. Seven days with no gain and suddenly I was having flashbacks. This Pedi (same practice, different Dr from Luca's) wasn't overly concerned, but asked us to come in a week later to recheck his weight. All I could imagine was twice a week visits where I stressed, they pushed formula at me, I cried in my car on the way home, and I was ashamed to tell people I was supplementing.
We left the appointment, and I was surprised because though I was stressed over the scale not moving, I was not feeling lost and in despair like I had with Luca. For some reason, I just KNEW everything was ok. He was eating well and had all the signs of a healthy baby. I said to Darrick (and anyone else who would listen) that I thought maybe this was just how my kids were...perhaps I didn't MAKE chubsters? Perhaps my kids don't GET fat and happy? Perhaps there was nothing to worry about at all, and just like Luca is healthy and brilliant and beautiful despite her skinny start, maybe Rohan will be too?
And so I thought a lot about it that weekend, and on Monday I called my MW to talk. I explained to her what was going on and how Rohan was doing, and I asked for her expert input. She assured me that I could be right...that perhaps I didn't make chubsters and my kids don't get fat and just like Luca is healthy and brilliant and beautiful despite her skinny start, so might Rohan be. She cited studies on breastfed vs formula fed babies, mentioned how breastfed babies tend to be thinner b/c they process mom's milk more efficiently than formula, etc. And then she offered to have us come by and have him weighed on her scale...the same one he'd been weighed on shortly after birth...to see how he was doing. I agreed.
I took him to see her when he was 16 days old. We chatted, I nursed him while she and her two apprentices peeked in to be sure his latch was good, she snuggled him and cooed over him, and then he was weighed. Eight pounds, twelve ounces. He weighed exactly what he had at birth...and exactly what he SHOULD at 2 weeks. Victory!!! I called and cancelled his follow-up appointment for that Friday. Darrick was a bit worried. He fully supported me cancelling the appointment (primarily because we have a $25 copay and that man will stop short at almost nothing to save some cash!) but he started making comments here and there about how there is nothing WRONG with supplementing and how we have 2 free cans of formula in the kitchen (thanks for your faith in women, Similac) and he didn't mind making bottles, etc etc etc. I told him thanks but no thanks. I told him if he thought my supply was low, I'd pump and we could feed Rohan what I pumped. I told him, "You know what I think? I think I never even HAD a problem when Luca was born. I don't think I was broken at all, but that I let my spirit be broken by worry and fear. I won't let that happen this time. I just KNOW Rohan is ok."
So we pumped and fed bottles after I nursed. Only once a day most days, but enough to appease the hubby and assure us both I AM indeed making plenty of milk. And I refused to stress out over how much he was or was not gaining. I just had faith he would be ok. The Mom in Me knew it to be true.
Rohan had a 1 month appointment this morning. He is 32 days old. When we put him on the scale, I almost squeeled with joy to see that he weighed 9 lbs, 12 oz. In 21 days, he gained 1 lb, 7 oz. His Pedi wanted to see him gain at least 25 grams per day, and he gained 33! The Mom in Me knew he was ok...knew I was doing right by him...knew there was nothing to be gained from stressing and worrying and doubting myself and my body and my baby.
This is an art I am learning. I am discovering ways to shut out the noise of other people, as well-meaning as they may be. I am figuring out ways to be true to me and do what I know to be best for my kids. I won't win all the battles (let's not even talk about circumcision) and I won't always be right, but I am learning that I can trust myself. I'm learning that, as far as moms go, I happen to be a pretty kick-ass one! And I think I'm giving a real gift to my kids in trusting myself and listening to my own voice. Not only will they grow up with a mom who's true to herself, but they will also grow up with a mom who trusted THEM to fulfill their part of the equation. I am really learning to embrace the challenges of motherhood and not compare my experience and those of my kids to the experiences of others. It's freeing.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
What's Happening
I've been lax about updating my blog, mostly because I am either nursing a newborn or managing a toddler (or both) at all hours of the day. Rohan's still such a cool baby. He sleeps well, eats well, and is getting cuter by the day. He is a good mix of Darrick and me, but ultimately he really looks like Luca did as a baby. Witness:
Luca
Rohan
Rohan
Luca
He's doing really well overall. His hematoma is shrinking and he's eating well. My pediatrician was worried because on her scale he's weighing in below his birth weight of 8 lb 12 oz (last appointment with Pedi he was 8 lb 5.5 oz). I took him back to my MW so she could weigh him on the scale he was weighed on after birth, and he was still 8 lb 12 oz, which is actually exactly where he 'should' be (babies are expected to be back at birth weight by 2 weeks post-birth). So I'm refusing to worry about it. He's such a happy and content baby, I know he's perfectly fine. And, once again, I love my MW for getting me in her schedule and reassuring me all is fine.
Luca
Rohan
Rohan
Luca
He's doing really well overall. His hematoma is shrinking and he's eating well. My pediatrician was worried because on her scale he's weighing in below his birth weight of 8 lb 12 oz (last appointment with Pedi he was 8 lb 5.5 oz). I took him back to my MW so she could weigh him on the scale he was weighed on after birth, and he was still 8 lb 12 oz, which is actually exactly where he 'should' be (babies are expected to be back at birth weight by 2 weeks post-birth). So I'm refusing to worry about it. He's such a happy and content baby, I know he's perfectly fine. And, once again, I love my MW for getting me in her schedule and reassuring me all is fine.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Rohan's Story.
This is the story of Rohan's birth. It's long, so get comfy and grab a cup of coffee before you settle in to read. I've included some pictures too. I will say, they aren't perfect and beautiful, but this is what natural birth looks like, mascara smudges and all.
I am going to attempt to write this birth story and include all the relevant details. It was so amazing, overpowering, shocking...just so much MORE than I expected.
Sunday evening we went to my in-laws' house for dinner to celebrate my brother in law's birthday. I noticed some cramping throughout dinner, but intentionally ignored it since I didn't want to get my hopes up. I'd been having cramps here and there for a week or so. They would come in the evenings after Luca was in bed, but if I tried to time them or concentrate on them (or heaven forbid get excited about them!) they would disappear. So I had decided that until something really noticeable was happening, I would carry on as though they weren't there. I didn't even mention them to my husband, mainly because I was worried he would tell his whole family - - - my husband not being much of a secret-keeper - - - and I didn't want everyone excited in case they fizzled as usual.
After dinner with the in laws, we met my family for dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday. Cramping continued, and I noticed my appetite was almost non-existent. I started to time it when we got home about 9, but by 10:30 it was fading, so I went to bed.
Monday morning (3 days past my EDD) I woke up and decided I was not in the mood to work at home as I usually do on Mondays, so I emailed my boss and told her I planned to take the day off. I called my Midwife Sue at 9 and said "Nothing is happening.", so she suggested we make an appointment for Tuesday at noon, and I agreed. About 10, I talked to my mom, who said she'd come over so we could go shopping and to lunch. I didn't tell her this, but by the time she got over at about 10:45, I was having some cramping like early labor. While shopping, they started to get stronger and spread into my back. I found myself rocking my hips side to side while holding onto the cart and walking. At one point, I tried to sit down to look at a pattern book at the fabric store, and couldn't bear sitting still.
We went to lunch at Chick Fil A after shopping, and at this point sitting to eat was starting to get really uncomfortable. I hardly ate anything, since my appetite was still pretty non-existent. We got home about 12:30. Our friend Natalie and her baby girl Elle came over for a bit. We sat on the floor playing with Elle, and I started to notice that I was REALLY uncomfortable sitting on the floor. I was having to shift positions and move my hips a lot, but I didn't really want to let on to Natalie that I was so uncomfortable so I tried to play it cool while she was there. She left at 1:30, and my mom took Luca up for her nap.
I decided to get on my knees and lean my chest over my yoga ball while my mom was upstairs, to see if the back pain would ease. I was rocking my pelvis back and forward and having to concentrate through the contractions. I also started to time my pains (which I was just now starting to accept WERE contractions and were not going away) on contractionmaster.com. To my GREAT surprise, they were about 3-3.5 minutes apart, but only lasting about 25-45 seconds, and still manageable enough I could talk through them.
After 15 minutes, I decided I should call my MW. I left her a voice mail to the effect of, "Just FYI, contrax are 3-4 minutes apart but manageable. No rush, but if you can stop by later please do."
At 1:50, I called Darrick's work. He had just gone in to teach the last class of the day, so I told the front office I was in labor, but no rush for him to come home, as I was sure we had HOURS still (my labor with Luca was 27 hours!). He has wrestling club after school on Mondays, and I wanted him to come home after class instead of going to that. Thank goodness he got the message at 2:30 and came straight home...
My MW called back from her tax man's office in the West Valley (40 or so minutes away), and I kept trying to reassure her that I was sure I'd be in labor forever and there was no rush to come over. She said to me, "Katie, this is your second baby and your contractions are less than 5 minutes apart. I don't want to miss your birth." She asked if it was ok for her to send her former apprentice, Alison, who's now licensed, to check me so she could tell Sue how progressed I was. I said of course, and she said Alison would call me. When Alison did call, I realized I was having trouble concentrating and couldn't manage to give her directions, so I passed the phone to my mom and went upstairs to go to the bathroom.
At some point, Darrick got home and came upstairs and into the bathroom (I think this was shortly before 3) and asked me how sure I was this was 'IT'. I remember looking at my face in the mirror, and it was white, and telling him, "Please go set up the pool." His eyes got HUGE and he asked if I was ok. I remember telling him that I was starting to get scared by the intensity and speed of things, and was kind of worried with how fast it seemed to be going. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Sue will make it. And if she doesn't, we can do this. All we need is each other." It was in that moment that I relaxed a little. I felt safe, like together we could do anything.
In the time it took me to get downstairs I had 3 contractions. I told Darrick he needed to call Sue back and tell her to head over because I was worried she wouldn't make it in time otherwise.
I laid on the couch on my side, and between contractions I heard my MW's current apprentice, Selena, talking to me, though I don't know when she got there. I was coping with the contractions by shaking my foot vigorously and counting to 10 as I breathed in and out, but their intensity was really shocking me. It seemed like they were one on top of the other, and I still was in denial it was getting so intense so quickly. Alison showed up at 3:15 (I know the time only because she told me later) and asked to check me between contractions. Every time she would get ready to check, I'd have a contraction...that's how close they were together.
A funny aside here: my mom had been hanging out with me until Darrick got home, and had run out to Home Depot for something before Alison showed up. Alison asked Darrick if we had olive oil to use (instead of KY like OBs use) to check my progress. He heard only 'oil', so he came out of the kitchen with the BIGGEST bottle of vegetable oil you could imagine. Between contractions I noticed it and cracked up, telling him she wanted to check my cervix, not stir-fry my placenta.
So Alison checks me and says I'm 5cm and 'paper thin'. She suggests I get upright so baby's head will put pressure on my cervix. Right after she checked me, I thought I felt some fluid leaking, so I told her I thought my water broke, and she confirmed it had. Apparently just her quick check of the cervix was all my body needed to fly into overdrive. I asked if I could get into the pool and she said of course, so in I went. Right away, I had 2 or 3 strong contractions. I'm not sure how she knew, but Alison told Darrick that he needed to help me get my swimsuit bottoms off (yes, while in labor I'd gone upstairs and changed into a bikini with a shirt on top) between my contractions in case I needed to push. I fought them a bit over removing the bottoms because I was starting to freak a little about how fast it was going. With their help I got them off and sunk into the pool. I remember wishing the water was deeper, because during a contraction my back and belly couldn't all be submerged at the same time. But the water felt so nice and welcoming.
At some point during this, my mom returned and I told Darrick to have her get Luca and get out ASAP. I was vocalizing through my contractions at this point and didn't want to scare Luca (who was napping still). My mom ran up to get her, but every time she tried to come down the stairs, I would yell, "NO! Not yet!" because another contraction was coming. She finally escaped between contractions, and not a moment too soon, because I started telling Alison and Selena I thought I was going to push. It really was involuntary...the urge was so strong I could not stop myself. At this point I was on my knees, leaning my upper body onto Darrick's arms and the side of the pool.
They gave me the ok to push, and I was thinking, "No way. There is NO WAY I am ready to push yet! It han't been long enough!". But with the next contraction, I couldn't stop my body from bearing down, so I let it happen on its own. "I'm pushing!! Oh! I'm pushing!" I cried out. I'm not sure if I was proud or shocked or a little of both, but I think I really needed to verbalize what I was doing so someone could assure me it was the right thing. I was still in denial that it was time to push already. They cheered me on and said, "Great! Keep going as long as you feel the urge!"
Somewhere in here, Sue arrived. I heard her and Alison talking, but I was in my zone. It's true what you hear about labor-land. I knew things were happening outside my birth pool, but I couldn't be bothered with focusing on what those things were. They let me just push during contractions for awhile. I was kind of scared of the pain because everyone told me pushing is a relief and not painful, but that was not true for me...while I couldn't feel the contractions anymore, I could feel the baby moving down and it was surprisingly intense. But they were talking to me, telling me I could do it and that my baby was almost here. That, and Darrick telling me over and over how well I was doing and how proud he was got me through and kept me going. He would hold a cool cloth to my forehead and neck while I was pushing, then give me sips of Gatorade or water between contractions.
Throughout the time in the pool, the Midwives were periodically checking my pulse and listening for baby. I was fine as was baby, but they were having trouble hearing baby's heartbeat because it was behind my pubic bone. To be on the safe side, they put a tube with oxygen in front of me during pushing, which was when I realized my MW's other apprentice, Greeta, was also there, as she was holding the tube.
Between contractions, I was laughing and apologizing for making so much noise (really I was just grunting and ocassionally throwing in a profanity or a chant to myself like, "Open for baby, open for baby." or "Come out baby. We're ready. Come out." or "I can I can I can I can I am.") and they were laughing about that. They promised I wasn't even CLOSE to yelling and they had heard WAY louder births. I remember being surprised at how present and clear I felt in the space between contractions. In contrast as soon as I felt the beginnings of the next contraction sneaking up on me ,or, sometimes, barreling over me, I would retreat into my self, focusing only on Darrick's hand holding mine and the feel of the side of the birth pool on my cheek.
After about 30 minutes of pushing, I could feel baby really low. They told me I could feel the head when I pushed, so I reached and felt it and started to cry. Right after that, they suggested I flip over to sitting so I'd have more control and could open my hips more. Because of the pressure, I was fighting opening my legs wide enough, and I needed to be on my butt to do so. They helped me over, and with the next few contractions I pushed from there. I put my hand down and could feel the head, but I kept my eyes closed the whole time.
Usually when you push, baby moves down, and when you stop they go back up a bit. I could feel the movement down and then up through most of the pushing phase, but at this point I would push and could feel that baby was just sitting there in the same spot. Sue suggested I might have better luck out of the water on the birth stool, and I said I didn't want to get out. Mostly, I couldn't imagine hauling myself out of the pool in the midst of all this. I heard her send one of the apprentices out to get the birth stool, and that was all I needed to hear. I had spent months imagining my baby being born into water, and I was determined to make it happen.
I pushed with all my might through the next contraction, and could feel him crowning. It did burn, but only for a second. I thought I felt his head come out, so I was asking, "Is baby out? Is that my baby?" and they said, "No, but you're right there. Keep going!" I couldn't understand why I thought I felt baby come out and they were saying no, but I pushed through the next contraction and felt his head, then his body slide out. That felt like a HUGE relief. Turns out, what I felt earlier that I thought was his head coming out was Sue pulling his right hand up and over his head. He was coming out with his hand by his face, which meant his head was torqued to the side. The odd angle of his head and the hand by the face (nuchal hand) explained why he was just sitting there and not moving while pushing. They told me later that if his hand hadn't been there, he would have been out before Sue had even gotten to my house. He also had his cord very loosely around his neck one time, but as is the case with most nuchal cords, it was never a dangerous situation.
Rohan Morrison Kahle was born at 4:25 p.m.
The amazing Sue continues to support me, even after Rohan is born.
As soon as he was out, I reached down for him and they handed him to me to put him on my chest, and I started to laugh and cry. I kept thanking everyone and saying, "I can't believe we did this!". They corrected me and reminded me *I* did it, which of course made me cry some more. Darrick got the camera and took some pictures (the plan to photograph and video it all went by the wayside when it went so fast), and I just held him for a few minutes. Finally, Darrick lifted baby's leg and we both said, "BOY!".
They cut the cord after it stopped pulsing, and I ended up delivering the placenta in the pool and getting out right after. I got onto the couch and they covered me with blankets because I was shaking (post-birth hormones). By this point I was already feeling fine and not in pain at all. I was laughing about the vegetable oil and talking to everyone as though it were a normal day and I hadn't just given birth in a plastic pool in my living room on a Monday afternoon.
My MW and her apprentices hung out until about 6. In that time, I breastfed Rohan, we went upstairs and they did a newborn check on him, and they checked me for tears. Because of his size, the hand by the face, and the speed of my labor, we expected I may need stitches. My tear ended up being minor enough we opted not to stitch it at all. And I'll tell you....I am having NO pain at all, despite a big baby and a hand by the face. I really think being able to feel what was happening made for a better delivery and recovery. And to answer the question everyone seems to want to know the answer to...NO...I did NOT have to use the skimmer!
Weighing my beautiful son.
Newborn exam.
This was a novel, but I want to remember all the details before they get lost on me. This story is just the facts and details I know I'll want written for posterity. What I'm not sure it captures fully is the intense joy and surrender I felt giving birth to my first son at home, surrounded only by people I asked to attend and supported fully. Throughout my pregnancy, I grew to know and love my birth team, and they were supportive of every decision my family made and provided us a safe space in which we were able to create the birth we desired. It was an amazing experience. There was not a single moment in the whole pregnancy, labor, and birth when I was worried about my safety or Rohan's, and I never even thought about drugs while at home. I felt very safe and very comfortable, and though it was fast and for sure it was painful, it was amazing and I felt SO strong and so loved and supported.
I know homebirth isn't for a lot of people, but it was so amazing, and I'm glad I trusted my body and my baby and my husband and I got to have this beautiful experience.
I am going to attempt to write this birth story and include all the relevant details. It was so amazing, overpowering, shocking...just so much MORE than I expected.
Sunday evening we went to my in-laws' house for dinner to celebrate my brother in law's birthday. I noticed some cramping throughout dinner, but intentionally ignored it since I didn't want to get my hopes up. I'd been having cramps here and there for a week or so. They would come in the evenings after Luca was in bed, but if I tried to time them or concentrate on them (or heaven forbid get excited about them!) they would disappear. So I had decided that until something really noticeable was happening, I would carry on as though they weren't there. I didn't even mention them to my husband, mainly because I was worried he would tell his whole family - - - my husband not being much of a secret-keeper - - - and I didn't want everyone excited in case they fizzled as usual.
After dinner with the in laws, we met my family for dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday. Cramping continued, and I noticed my appetite was almost non-existent. I started to time it when we got home about 9, but by 10:30 it was fading, so I went to bed.
Monday morning (3 days past my EDD) I woke up and decided I was not in the mood to work at home as I usually do on Mondays, so I emailed my boss and told her I planned to take the day off. I called my Midwife Sue at 9 and said "Nothing is happening.", so she suggested we make an appointment for Tuesday at noon, and I agreed. About 10, I talked to my mom, who said she'd come over so we could go shopping and to lunch. I didn't tell her this, but by the time she got over at about 10:45, I was having some cramping like early labor. While shopping, they started to get stronger and spread into my back. I found myself rocking my hips side to side while holding onto the cart and walking. At one point, I tried to sit down to look at a pattern book at the fabric store, and couldn't bear sitting still.
We went to lunch at Chick Fil A after shopping, and at this point sitting to eat was starting to get really uncomfortable. I hardly ate anything, since my appetite was still pretty non-existent. We got home about 12:30. Our friend Natalie and her baby girl Elle came over for a bit. We sat on the floor playing with Elle, and I started to notice that I was REALLY uncomfortable sitting on the floor. I was having to shift positions and move my hips a lot, but I didn't really want to let on to Natalie that I was so uncomfortable so I tried to play it cool while she was there. She left at 1:30, and my mom took Luca up for her nap.
I decided to get on my knees and lean my chest over my yoga ball while my mom was upstairs, to see if the back pain would ease. I was rocking my pelvis back and forward and having to concentrate through the contractions. I also started to time my pains (which I was just now starting to accept WERE contractions and were not going away) on contractionmaster.com. To my GREAT surprise, they were about 3-3.5 minutes apart, but only lasting about 25-45 seconds, and still manageable enough I could talk through them.
After 15 minutes, I decided I should call my MW. I left her a voice mail to the effect of, "Just FYI, contrax are 3-4 minutes apart but manageable. No rush, but if you can stop by later please do."
At 1:50, I called Darrick's work. He had just gone in to teach the last class of the day, so I told the front office I was in labor, but no rush for him to come home, as I was sure we had HOURS still (my labor with Luca was 27 hours!). He has wrestling club after school on Mondays, and I wanted him to come home after class instead of going to that. Thank goodness he got the message at 2:30 and came straight home...
My MW called back from her tax man's office in the West Valley (40 or so minutes away), and I kept trying to reassure her that I was sure I'd be in labor forever and there was no rush to come over. She said to me, "Katie, this is your second baby and your contractions are less than 5 minutes apart. I don't want to miss your birth." She asked if it was ok for her to send her former apprentice, Alison, who's now licensed, to check me so she could tell Sue how progressed I was. I said of course, and she said Alison would call me. When Alison did call, I realized I was having trouble concentrating and couldn't manage to give her directions, so I passed the phone to my mom and went upstairs to go to the bathroom.
At some point, Darrick got home and came upstairs and into the bathroom (I think this was shortly before 3) and asked me how sure I was this was 'IT'. I remember looking at my face in the mirror, and it was white, and telling him, "Please go set up the pool." His eyes got HUGE and he asked if I was ok. I remember telling him that I was starting to get scared by the intensity and speed of things, and was kind of worried with how fast it seemed to be going. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Sue will make it. And if she doesn't, we can do this. All we need is each other." It was in that moment that I relaxed a little. I felt safe, like together we could do anything.
In the time it took me to get downstairs I had 3 contractions. I told Darrick he needed to call Sue back and tell her to head over because I was worried she wouldn't make it in time otherwise.
I laid on the couch on my side, and between contractions I heard my MW's current apprentice, Selena, talking to me, though I don't know when she got there. I was coping with the contractions by shaking my foot vigorously and counting to 10 as I breathed in and out, but their intensity was really shocking me. It seemed like they were one on top of the other, and I still was in denial it was getting so intense so quickly. Alison showed up at 3:15 (I know the time only because she told me later) and asked to check me between contractions. Every time she would get ready to check, I'd have a contraction...that's how close they were together.
A funny aside here: my mom had been hanging out with me until Darrick got home, and had run out to Home Depot for something before Alison showed up. Alison asked Darrick if we had olive oil to use (instead of KY like OBs use) to check my progress. He heard only 'oil', so he came out of the kitchen with the BIGGEST bottle of vegetable oil you could imagine. Between contractions I noticed it and cracked up, telling him she wanted to check my cervix, not stir-fry my placenta.
So Alison checks me and says I'm 5cm and 'paper thin'. She suggests I get upright so baby's head will put pressure on my cervix. Right after she checked me, I thought I felt some fluid leaking, so I told her I thought my water broke, and she confirmed it had. Apparently just her quick check of the cervix was all my body needed to fly into overdrive. I asked if I could get into the pool and she said of course, so in I went. Right away, I had 2 or 3 strong contractions. I'm not sure how she knew, but Alison told Darrick that he needed to help me get my swimsuit bottoms off (yes, while in labor I'd gone upstairs and changed into a bikini with a shirt on top) between my contractions in case I needed to push. I fought them a bit over removing the bottoms because I was starting to freak a little about how fast it was going. With their help I got them off and sunk into the pool. I remember wishing the water was deeper, because during a contraction my back and belly couldn't all be submerged at the same time. But the water felt so nice and welcoming.
At some point during this, my mom returned and I told Darrick to have her get Luca and get out ASAP. I was vocalizing through my contractions at this point and didn't want to scare Luca (who was napping still). My mom ran up to get her, but every time she tried to come down the stairs, I would yell, "NO! Not yet!" because another contraction was coming. She finally escaped between contractions, and not a moment too soon, because I started telling Alison and Selena I thought I was going to push. It really was involuntary...the urge was so strong I could not stop myself. At this point I was on my knees, leaning my upper body onto Darrick's arms and the side of the pool.
They gave me the ok to push, and I was thinking, "No way. There is NO WAY I am ready to push yet! It han't been long enough!". But with the next contraction, I couldn't stop my body from bearing down, so I let it happen on its own. "I'm pushing!! Oh! I'm pushing!" I cried out. I'm not sure if I was proud or shocked or a little of both, but I think I really needed to verbalize what I was doing so someone could assure me it was the right thing. I was still in denial that it was time to push already. They cheered me on and said, "Great! Keep going as long as you feel the urge!"
Somewhere in here, Sue arrived. I heard her and Alison talking, but I was in my zone. It's true what you hear about labor-land. I knew things were happening outside my birth pool, but I couldn't be bothered with focusing on what those things were. They let me just push during contractions for awhile. I was kind of scared of the pain because everyone told me pushing is a relief and not painful, but that was not true for me...while I couldn't feel the contractions anymore, I could feel the baby moving down and it was surprisingly intense. But they were talking to me, telling me I could do it and that my baby was almost here. That, and Darrick telling me over and over how well I was doing and how proud he was got me through and kept me going. He would hold a cool cloth to my forehead and neck while I was pushing, then give me sips of Gatorade or water between contractions.
Throughout the time in the pool, the Midwives were periodically checking my pulse and listening for baby. I was fine as was baby, but they were having trouble hearing baby's heartbeat because it was behind my pubic bone. To be on the safe side, they put a tube with oxygen in front of me during pushing, which was when I realized my MW's other apprentice, Greeta, was also there, as she was holding the tube.
Between contractions, I was laughing and apologizing for making so much noise (really I was just grunting and ocassionally throwing in a profanity or a chant to myself like, "Open for baby, open for baby." or "Come out baby. We're ready. Come out." or "I can I can I can I can I am.") and they were laughing about that. They promised I wasn't even CLOSE to yelling and they had heard WAY louder births. I remember being surprised at how present and clear I felt in the space between contractions. In contrast as soon as I felt the beginnings of the next contraction sneaking up on me ,or, sometimes, barreling over me, I would retreat into my self, focusing only on Darrick's hand holding mine and the feel of the side of the birth pool on my cheek.
After about 30 minutes of pushing, I could feel baby really low. They told me I could feel the head when I pushed, so I reached and felt it and started to cry. Right after that, they suggested I flip over to sitting so I'd have more control and could open my hips more. Because of the pressure, I was fighting opening my legs wide enough, and I needed to be on my butt to do so. They helped me over, and with the next few contractions I pushed from there. I put my hand down and could feel the head, but I kept my eyes closed the whole time.
Usually when you push, baby moves down, and when you stop they go back up a bit. I could feel the movement down and then up through most of the pushing phase, but at this point I would push and could feel that baby was just sitting there in the same spot. Sue suggested I might have better luck out of the water on the birth stool, and I said I didn't want to get out. Mostly, I couldn't imagine hauling myself out of the pool in the midst of all this. I heard her send one of the apprentices out to get the birth stool, and that was all I needed to hear. I had spent months imagining my baby being born into water, and I was determined to make it happen.
I pushed with all my might through the next contraction, and could feel him crowning. It did burn, but only for a second. I thought I felt his head come out, so I was asking, "Is baby out? Is that my baby?" and they said, "No, but you're right there. Keep going!" I couldn't understand why I thought I felt baby come out and they were saying no, but I pushed through the next contraction and felt his head, then his body slide out. That felt like a HUGE relief. Turns out, what I felt earlier that I thought was his head coming out was Sue pulling his right hand up and over his head. He was coming out with his hand by his face, which meant his head was torqued to the side. The odd angle of his head and the hand by the face (nuchal hand) explained why he was just sitting there and not moving while pushing. They told me later that if his hand hadn't been there, he would have been out before Sue had even gotten to my house. He also had his cord very loosely around his neck one time, but as is the case with most nuchal cords, it was never a dangerous situation.
Rohan Morrison Kahle was born at 4:25 p.m.
I love how this picture really captures how powerful and joyful I felt in that moment.
The amazing Sue continues to support me, even after Rohan is born.
As soon as he was out, I reached down for him and they handed him to me to put him on my chest, and I started to laugh and cry. I kept thanking everyone and saying, "I can't believe we did this!". They corrected me and reminded me *I* did it, which of course made me cry some more. Darrick got the camera and took some pictures (the plan to photograph and video it all went by the wayside when it went so fast), and I just held him for a few minutes. Finally, Darrick lifted baby's leg and we both said, "BOY!".
They cut the cord after it stopped pulsing, and I ended up delivering the placenta in the pool and getting out right after. I got onto the couch and they covered me with blankets because I was shaking (post-birth hormones). By this point I was already feeling fine and not in pain at all. I was laughing about the vegetable oil and talking to everyone as though it were a normal day and I hadn't just given birth in a plastic pool in my living room on a Monday afternoon.
My MW and her apprentices hung out until about 6. In that time, I breastfed Rohan, we went upstairs and they did a newborn check on him, and they checked me for tears. Because of his size, the hand by the face, and the speed of my labor, we expected I may need stitches. My tear ended up being minor enough we opted not to stitch it at all. And I'll tell you....I am having NO pain at all, despite a big baby and a hand by the face. I really think being able to feel what was happening made for a better delivery and recovery. And to answer the question everyone seems to want to know the answer to...NO...I did NOT have to use the skimmer!
Weighing my beautiful son.
Newborn exam.
This was a novel, but I want to remember all the details before they get lost on me. This story is just the facts and details I know I'll want written for posterity. What I'm not sure it captures fully is the intense joy and surrender I felt giving birth to my first son at home, surrounded only by people I asked to attend and supported fully. Throughout my pregnancy, I grew to know and love my birth team, and they were supportive of every decision my family made and provided us a safe space in which we were able to create the birth we desired. It was an amazing experience. There was not a single moment in the whole pregnancy, labor, and birth when I was worried about my safety or Rohan's, and I never even thought about drugs while at home. I felt very safe and very comfortable, and though it was fast and for sure it was painful, it was amazing and I felt SO strong and so loved and supported.
I know homebirth isn't for a lot of people, but it was so amazing, and I'm glad I trusted my body and my baby and my husband and I got to have this beautiful experience.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Officially Overdue.
I am trying not to let it get me down or discouraged. Last night I had some timeable cramping from about 6 - 10:30, but when I went to bed the cramping disappeared. Rather than be annoyed by it, I'm trying to look at it with a positive spin: it probably caused some progress, which means when I DO go into labor, it'll probably be shorter...right? Right. We'll go with that.
Anyhow, I called my MW this morning, and she said it's up to me when we make our next appointment. I went ahead and made it for tomorrow in the hopes Murphy's Law would work and I'd go into labor before the appointment. Oddly, I am feeling pretty good today, other than some cramping here and there, which I am attempting to ignore. I took the day off so I can just relax. I think Luca and I are going to head out for coffee and some mall walking in a bit, and maybe convince my mom to try Eggplant Parmesan for lunch. Wish us luck!!
Oh, and because you HAVE to see the sideshow that is my giant belly, here I am, in all my 40 week + glory. Please ignore the white trash factor of my kid, hair unbrushed, wearing Halloween pajamas in March.
Anyhow, I called my MW this morning, and she said it's up to me when we make our next appointment. I went ahead and made it for tomorrow in the hopes Murphy's Law would work and I'd go into labor before the appointment. Oddly, I am feeling pretty good today, other than some cramping here and there, which I am attempting to ignore. I took the day off so I can just relax. I think Luca and I are going to head out for coffee and some mall walking in a bit, and maybe convince my mom to try Eggplant Parmesan for lunch. Wish us luck!!
Oh, and because you HAVE to see the sideshow that is my giant belly, here I am, in all my 40 week + glory. Please ignore the white trash factor of my kid, hair unbrushed, wearing Halloween pajamas in March.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Questions and Answers.
I thought I'd take a few minutes to go over some questions I've received (some fairly common, others sort of unusual) lately. Seems like a good way to kill time (otherwise known as wait impatiently for a baby to arrive).
Question:
How do you keep the water in the birth tub warm?
Answer:
I'm not really sure how this will work in real life, but in my imagination, it's not so hard. I do not plan to fill and get into the birth tub until I am sure I am in active labor (my MW suggests about 5 cm, but does not demand I get checked to prove I am 5 cm first or anything). Our water heater will be turned up so the tub fills very hot. I'll get in and relax.
The water is actually NOT intended to be 'hot' when baby is born in it. It should be close to mom's normal body temperature of 98.6, so ideally by the time baby is born into the water, it will have cooled down to about that temperature. And many moms who've birthed in water say you won't WANT it really hot anyhow, since labor raises your core body temp and too-hot water = too-hot mom. Now, should the water need heating, we can boil some on the stove and add it in, or siphon some out and add more in straight from the tap.
Question:
What do you do with the water when you're done birthing and the pool needs to be emptied?
Answer:
You siphon the water out. You can use a hose to siphon it into the yard, sink, or tub.
Question:
Does the birth pool have stirrups?
Answer:
No. Stirrups are not needed, as mom pushes in whatever position is comfortable for her. Stirrups are only used in labor to get mom in a position that's convenient for the OB or MW attending, and that position can lead to worse tearing or...episiotomies. Which leads ME to....
Question:
What if you need an episiotomy?
Answer:
Episiotomies are very rare, if not non-existent, in home births. I am not even sure if my MW brings the right....tools....to do one. I never asked, as I don't plan on needing one done. She tells me very few of her moms tear at all because they direct the pushing themselves and, in water, the tissues have time to soften enough that there's usually no tearing. What tears she DOES see usually don't even need stitches.
Question:
What about the mess?
Answer:
Most of the 'mess' will be contained in the birth pool. We also have 'drop cloths' of sorts to lay on the floor and bed, and the MW and her apprentice do a cleaning of the house after baby is born, including throwing soiled linens in the wash.
Question:
So about this 'mess' in the pool...isn't it kind of gross and unsanitary to float around with your placenta?
Answer:
I don't plan on bobbing for placenta, if that's what you mean. There will probably be some amniotic fluid and blood (and possible 'debris'...please see fish net post below) in the pool at some point. But the fact is...this is all stuff (ok...maybe not the 'debris') baby is being exposed to in the womb, and is no less safe for baby to be exposed to OUTSIDE the womb. I don't expect it to be a lot, and usually the blood comes after the baby, so it's not like I'll be swimming in it for 10 hours of labor. Also, the placenta is typically delivered outside of the pool, on dry land, so there will be no floating with that either.
Question:
What if baby needs oxygen or CPR? What if mom needs oxygen or bleeds too much? Can the MW handle this?
Answer:
We bought this jar of stuff called Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic. You just open the lid, and out comes a magical fairy to sprinkle Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic around the room, and all is better. And the bonus is, labor doesn't hurt and AIDS is cured and there is world peace.
Ok, but seriously, people. I do appreciate the concern and curiosity, but we didn't get out MW out of the back of the New Times. We didn't pick her just because she has horses and Luca likes going to see them (though she does, and Luca does). We interviewed 3 potential MWs and asked a ton of questions. Naturally we asked about emergency medical situations and how they are handled. My MW carries oxygen for both baby and mom (maybe even for panicked dads?). She knows First Aid and CPR. She brings pitocin to births in case mom bleeds too much or needs help getting her uterus to clamp down and expel the placenta after baby is born. She is a qualified professional with a LOT of training and experience, and a part of that includes knowing when she needs to call for help. We live less than a mile from the hospital where Luca was born, and an ambulance could be to us in about 2 minutes if need be. About the only thing my MW cannot do that the OBs at the hospital CAN is perform a c-section or give me drugs for the pain.
Question:
What about all the normal things the hospital does? Eye ointment, shots, health checks, etc. Can your MW do those?
Answer:
I've sort of touched on this a few times before, but the answer is yes, if we wish. The big difference here between a home and a hospital birth is that we as the parents can decide what things to have done and what to decline, with full knowledge of the pros and cons, no on-the-spot pressure, and no judgment on our decisions. So, we won't get the eye ointment, we will get the Vitamin K injection and the newborn screening (required by the state anyhow), baby will be weighed and measured....and all this will be done (I hope!) while I lounge in a robe at home in bed.
Question:
Will Luca be there for the birth?
Answer:
It depends. If I go into labor while she's sleeping at night, we'll leave her in bed. If she's awake or wakes up, we'll play it by ear. It's really dependent upon whether I am comfortable with her there, whether H can help me while keeping an eye on her, and what her reaction is to the whole thing. We don't want to exclude her, but we also don't want to scare her, so if we think she'd be better off playing with one of her Grandmas or uncles or a friend, we've got backups on call.
Question:
Who 'catches' the baby?
Answer:
We plan to play it by ear. My MW is more than happy to step back and let Darrick or me do it if all is going well with the birth. I can't predict who will actually end up doing it.
Question:
Who will announce Andre's sex?
Answer:
My MW has told us she doesn't even look unless we ask her to. I'm hoping Darrick will announce it, but this is another thing we can't actually predict for sure in advance.
That's it for now! If you have other questions you want to see answered, feel free to comment here.
Question:
How do you keep the water in the birth tub warm?
Answer:
I'm not really sure how this will work in real life, but in my imagination, it's not so hard. I do not plan to fill and get into the birth tub until I am sure I am in active labor (my MW suggests about 5 cm, but does not demand I get checked to prove I am 5 cm first or anything). Our water heater will be turned up so the tub fills very hot. I'll get in and relax.
The water is actually NOT intended to be 'hot' when baby is born in it. It should be close to mom's normal body temperature of 98.6, so ideally by the time baby is born into the water, it will have cooled down to about that temperature. And many moms who've birthed in water say you won't WANT it really hot anyhow, since labor raises your core body temp and too-hot water = too-hot mom. Now, should the water need heating, we can boil some on the stove and add it in, or siphon some out and add more in straight from the tap.
Question:
What do you do with the water when you're done birthing and the pool needs to be emptied?
Answer:
You siphon the water out. You can use a hose to siphon it into the yard, sink, or tub.
Question:
Does the birth pool have stirrups?
Answer:
No. Stirrups are not needed, as mom pushes in whatever position is comfortable for her. Stirrups are only used in labor to get mom in a position that's convenient for the OB or MW attending, and that position can lead to worse tearing or...episiotomies. Which leads ME to....
Question:
What if you need an episiotomy?
Answer:
Episiotomies are very rare, if not non-existent, in home births. I am not even sure if my MW brings the right....tools....to do one. I never asked, as I don't plan on needing one done. She tells me very few of her moms tear at all because they direct the pushing themselves and, in water, the tissues have time to soften enough that there's usually no tearing. What tears she DOES see usually don't even need stitches.
Question:
What about the mess?
Answer:
Most of the 'mess' will be contained in the birth pool. We also have 'drop cloths' of sorts to lay on the floor and bed, and the MW and her apprentice do a cleaning of the house after baby is born, including throwing soiled linens in the wash.
Question:
So about this 'mess' in the pool...isn't it kind of gross and unsanitary to float around with your placenta?
Answer:
I don't plan on bobbing for placenta, if that's what you mean. There will probably be some amniotic fluid and blood (and possible 'debris'...please see fish net post below) in the pool at some point. But the fact is...this is all stuff (ok...maybe not the 'debris') baby is being exposed to in the womb, and is no less safe for baby to be exposed to OUTSIDE the womb. I don't expect it to be a lot, and usually the blood comes after the baby, so it's not like I'll be swimming in it for 10 hours of labor. Also, the placenta is typically delivered outside of the pool, on dry land, so there will be no floating with that either.
Question:
What if baby needs oxygen or CPR? What if mom needs oxygen or bleeds too much? Can the MW handle this?
Answer:
We bought this jar of stuff called Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic. You just open the lid, and out comes a magical fairy to sprinkle Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic around the room, and all is better. And the bonus is, labor doesn't hurt and AIDS is cured and there is world peace.
Ok, but seriously, people. I do appreciate the concern and curiosity, but we didn't get out MW out of the back of the New Times. We didn't pick her just because she has horses and Luca likes going to see them (though she does, and Luca does). We interviewed 3 potential MWs and asked a ton of questions. Naturally we asked about emergency medical situations and how they are handled. My MW carries oxygen for both baby and mom (maybe even for panicked dads?). She knows First Aid and CPR. She brings pitocin to births in case mom bleeds too much or needs help getting her uterus to clamp down and expel the placenta after baby is born. She is a qualified professional with a LOT of training and experience, and a part of that includes knowing when she needs to call for help. We live less than a mile from the hospital where Luca was born, and an ambulance could be to us in about 2 minutes if need be. About the only thing my MW cannot do that the OBs at the hospital CAN is perform a c-section or give me drugs for the pain.
Question:
What about all the normal things the hospital does? Eye ointment, shots, health checks, etc. Can your MW do those?
Answer:
I've sort of touched on this a few times before, but the answer is yes, if we wish. The big difference here between a home and a hospital birth is that we as the parents can decide what things to have done and what to decline, with full knowledge of the pros and cons, no on-the-spot pressure, and no judgment on our decisions. So, we won't get the eye ointment, we will get the Vitamin K injection and the newborn screening (required by the state anyhow), baby will be weighed and measured....and all this will be done (I hope!) while I lounge in a robe at home in bed.
Question:
Will Luca be there for the birth?
Answer:
It depends. If I go into labor while she's sleeping at night, we'll leave her in bed. If she's awake or wakes up, we'll play it by ear. It's really dependent upon whether I am comfortable with her there, whether H can help me while keeping an eye on her, and what her reaction is to the whole thing. We don't want to exclude her, but we also don't want to scare her, so if we think she'd be better off playing with one of her Grandmas or uncles or a friend, we've got backups on call.
Question:
Who 'catches' the baby?
Answer:
We plan to play it by ear. My MW is more than happy to step back and let Darrick or me do it if all is going well with the birth. I can't predict who will actually end up doing it.
Question:
Who will announce Andre's sex?
Answer:
My MW has told us she doesn't even look unless we ask her to. I'm hoping Darrick will announce it, but this is another thing we can't actually predict for sure in advance.
That's it for now! If you have other questions you want to see answered, feel free to comment here.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
39 Week, 3 Day Appointment.
We went and saw our MW this morning, rather than waiting for this weekend. I really have nothing to report. I'm still pregnant, baby is still head down, and all is still well. We didn't make a 'next' appointment this time. According to her chart, I am due on Sunday, so if I'm still pregnant come Monday, I'll call her and we'll go in for another visit. We were laughing over an 'induction' technique she suggested. It's called the Chocolate Ice Cream Induction, and involves eating as much chocolate ice cream as you can in one sitting. I asked how it works and she said like castor oil it's likely to cause...how should I say it?...lots of toilet time, which can sometimes start contractions. I decided to skip it in favor of NOT living on the toilet WHILE being in labor.
Tonight is a full moon, so....maybe?
Tonight is a full moon, so....maybe?
Friday, March 6, 2009
Are We There Yet?
Another Midwife appointment, and YES I am stillllllll pregnant. I expected my appointment this morning to be rather uneventful since I am so close to the end. But I was wrong!
First off, all the 'usual' stuff was fine. My blood pressure was great, no real swelling, measuring a week ahead still, etc. But then we got to the part of the exam where my MW and her apprentice palpate my belly from the outside to see if they can determine baby's position. This is important for a lot of reasons, but primarily because it's illegal in AZ for a MW to deliver a breech baby at home. Well, when listening for baby's heartbeat, it was stronger on my left side, but its position was consistent with a transverse baby, which would be almost impossible to deliver at home, since almost all transvese babies end up in c-sections. Add that to the fact that my MW's apprentice couldn't tell for sure where baby's head was, and my MW started to be a little concerned. She came over to palpate my belly, and said she thought baby was head down, but typically baby's head can be moved some at this point, and she wasn't able to move it much at all. All this together led her to wonder if baby could be frank breech, meaning I'd feel kicks up high because both baby's feet AND head are up top, and the bum is at the bottom. Here's a picture of what a frank breech baby looks like:
Now, most texts consider this kind of breech to be the most favorable for avoiding a c-section, but most texts don't practice obstetrics in Arizona. According to my MW, there are few OBs who are willing to 'allow' a vaginal delivery of a breech baby, no matter its position. And, as I stated above, homebirth MWs are not allowed by law to deliver a known breech.
So, with all this in mind, I had some decisions to make. There are really only 2 ways to know if a baby is breech. The most obvious is via ultrasound, but the other way is to have an internal exam to see if she can feel whether it's a head or a bum presenting.
I was avoiding internals, as I think I've mentioned before, primarly because they don't really tell you anything useful, and I was afraid having one would lead to frustration. But in this case, I really felt like it was the least invasive way to get some answers. When I asked what would happen if baby IS breech at this point in pregnancy, I was given 3 basic options:
1. I'd transfer care immediately to an OB and schedule a c-section.
2. I could attempt an external version, which could work, but may not.
3. I could opt not to find out, in which case I could attempt to deliver at home, but if baby presented as breech my MW would be breaking all sorts of rules to attend to me.
Thankfully, baby 'Andre' IS head-down, and I am 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. The dilation and effacement mean little to nothing, really, except that it's more than I had at this point in pregnancy with Luca, and she was born right on time. But being head-down is EXCELLENT news!
I go back on Wednesday for a check-up, presuming we have not yet been graced with baby's presence.
In related news, I had reflexology done today as well. Reflexology is rumored to help encourage contractions and kickstart labor if the body is ready, and I found a place running a special which was $30 for 60 minutes. Let me tell you....best $30 I've spent in a loooooong time! I was a little uncertain at first because it was a man doing the reflexology, but you stay fully clothed and sit in a reclining chair, so I got over that pretty quickly. He started with my head, scalp, neck, and shoulders, then moved onto my arms and hands. Oh lord do I love an arm and hand massage. PURE heaven.
After that, he moved to my feet and calves. It was relaxing...SO much so that I drifted in and out of a light sleep at a few points, which I am never able to do during a massage.
So far, no contractions have come out of it, but if nothing else I sure am relaxed.
First off, all the 'usual' stuff was fine. My blood pressure was great, no real swelling, measuring a week ahead still, etc. But then we got to the part of the exam where my MW and her apprentice palpate my belly from the outside to see if they can determine baby's position. This is important for a lot of reasons, but primarily because it's illegal in AZ for a MW to deliver a breech baby at home. Well, when listening for baby's heartbeat, it was stronger on my left side, but its position was consistent with a transverse baby, which would be almost impossible to deliver at home, since almost all transvese babies end up in c-sections. Add that to the fact that my MW's apprentice couldn't tell for sure where baby's head was, and my MW started to be a little concerned. She came over to palpate my belly, and said she thought baby was head down, but typically baby's head can be moved some at this point, and she wasn't able to move it much at all. All this together led her to wonder if baby could be frank breech, meaning I'd feel kicks up high because both baby's feet AND head are up top, and the bum is at the bottom. Here's a picture of what a frank breech baby looks like:
Now, most texts consider this kind of breech to be the most favorable for avoiding a c-section, but most texts don't practice obstetrics in Arizona. According to my MW, there are few OBs who are willing to 'allow' a vaginal delivery of a breech baby, no matter its position. And, as I stated above, homebirth MWs are not allowed by law to deliver a known breech.
So, with all this in mind, I had some decisions to make. There are really only 2 ways to know if a baby is breech. The most obvious is via ultrasound, but the other way is to have an internal exam to see if she can feel whether it's a head or a bum presenting.
I was avoiding internals, as I think I've mentioned before, primarly because they don't really tell you anything useful, and I was afraid having one would lead to frustration. But in this case, I really felt like it was the least invasive way to get some answers. When I asked what would happen if baby IS breech at this point in pregnancy, I was given 3 basic options:
1. I'd transfer care immediately to an OB and schedule a c-section.
2. I could attempt an external version, which could work, but may not.
3. I could opt not to find out, in which case I could attempt to deliver at home, but if baby presented as breech my MW would be breaking all sorts of rules to attend to me.
Thankfully, baby 'Andre' IS head-down, and I am 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. The dilation and effacement mean little to nothing, really, except that it's more than I had at this point in pregnancy with Luca, and she was born right on time. But being head-down is EXCELLENT news!
I go back on Wednesday for a check-up, presuming we have not yet been graced with baby's presence.
In related news, I had reflexology done today as well. Reflexology is rumored to help encourage contractions and kickstart labor if the body is ready, and I found a place running a special which was $30 for 60 minutes. Let me tell you....best $30 I've spent in a loooooong time! I was a little uncertain at first because it was a man doing the reflexology, but you stay fully clothed and sit in a reclining chair, so I got over that pretty quickly. He started with my head, scalp, neck, and shoulders, then moved onto my arms and hands. Oh lord do I love an arm and hand massage. PURE heaven.
After that, he moved to my feet and calves. It was relaxing...SO much so that I drifted in and out of a light sleep at a few points, which I am never able to do during a massage.
So far, no contractions have come out of it, but if nothing else I sure am relaxed.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
37 Week 6 Day Appointment.
We saw our MW again this morning for my almost 38-week appointment. All the regular stuff is going well (HB in 140s, measuring a week ahead again, baby lower than last week, no swelling to speak of, weight gain ok) and I'm finally at the point where my MW says things like, "We'll need to see you in a week, of baby doesn't come sooner." EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeek!
We talked about quite a few interesting things today. I asked her about my indigestion issues, which have been getting worse over the past month or so. She wanted to know if it was tied to eating spicy foods, and I explained it's tried to eating ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, including plain bagels and baby carrots. She advised me to stop eating 2 hours before bed, avoid spicy foods, and try papaya enzyme instead of Zantac (Zantac works fine, but I'd prefer something more natural). She also assured me that indigestion is actually a GOOD sign, since it means that my smoooth muscle tracts are softening, which we WANT to happen before I go into labor.
I also mentioned that I had purchased some Evening Primrose Oil, but I wanted to check with her before I started to use it since I didn't want to use it too early. Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) is a gelcap you can take orally 2-3 times per day, and at the end of pregnancy you can also...ahem...insert it to soften the cervix. I'll start taking it (orally, thanks for asking) this week. She assured me it's not going to throw me into labor before I am ready, but that it will help prepare my cervix for an easier time dilating.
We talked a bit about a birth plan, and whether we had any special requests or labor or delivery. Standard HBs usually include delayed cord clamping, as few interventions as possible, and a hands-off approach by the MW and her apprentice. She asked if I plan to catch my own baby, have Darrick do it, or have her do it, and I asked if we could play it by ear. I'm not sure once I'm in labor how I will feel about it. Darrick is open to the possibility of catching the baby, but we're not going to lock ourselves into one thing or another until the moment comes. We talked about who will announce baby's sex, and we're still undecided about whether it will be Darrick or me, or whether we want the MW to announce it so we find out at the same time. Darrick and I will decide that sometime before baby gets here. In my head, I always imagined him announcing it, but we'll see. We talked about a back-up plan if we need to transfer. We'll go to the hospital I had Luca at (it's less than a mile away) and use whoever is on call. I had always assumed that I would only transfer if there was an emergency and it would end in a c-section, but she said most of her transfers are first time moms who cannot handle the pain or get exhausted. I don't plan on transferring for those reasons...here's hoping I am right!
Last, we talked about whether to do the eye ointment and Vitamin K injections at birth. Both are done standard in hospital births, though you can decline them. The ointment is an antibiotic intended to prevent mom from passing infections to baby as he/she is born. Since the infections it protects against (gonorrhea and chlamydia) are things I don't have, we are declining the ointment. Vitamin K is given to protect baby from birth-related traumas and some disorders that are not always known at birth but could be life-threatening. VitK helps with blood coagulation, bone metabolism, and vascular biology, and most babies will be fine without the injection but there is no way to predict whether or not a baby will have problems without the injection. We're playing it safe and getting the injection, since there's no way to predict for certain if baby will have a deficiency, and the outcomes if he/she does and we decline it at birth could be very bad.
My next appointment is this coming Friday, assuming I make it that far. :)
We talked about quite a few interesting things today. I asked her about my indigestion issues, which have been getting worse over the past month or so. She wanted to know if it was tied to eating spicy foods, and I explained it's tried to eating ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, including plain bagels and baby carrots. She advised me to stop eating 2 hours before bed, avoid spicy foods, and try papaya enzyme instead of Zantac (Zantac works fine, but I'd prefer something more natural). She also assured me that indigestion is actually a GOOD sign, since it means that my smoooth muscle tracts are softening, which we WANT to happen before I go into labor.
I also mentioned that I had purchased some Evening Primrose Oil, but I wanted to check with her before I started to use it since I didn't want to use it too early. Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) is a gelcap you can take orally 2-3 times per day, and at the end of pregnancy you can also...ahem...insert it to soften the cervix. I'll start taking it (orally, thanks for asking) this week. She assured me it's not going to throw me into labor before I am ready, but that it will help prepare my cervix for an easier time dilating.
We talked a bit about a birth plan, and whether we had any special requests or labor or delivery. Standard HBs usually include delayed cord clamping, as few interventions as possible, and a hands-off approach by the MW and her apprentice. She asked if I plan to catch my own baby, have Darrick do it, or have her do it, and I asked if we could play it by ear. I'm not sure once I'm in labor how I will feel about it. Darrick is open to the possibility of catching the baby, but we're not going to lock ourselves into one thing or another until the moment comes. We talked about who will announce baby's sex, and we're still undecided about whether it will be Darrick or me, or whether we want the MW to announce it so we find out at the same time. Darrick and I will decide that sometime before baby gets here. In my head, I always imagined him announcing it, but we'll see. We talked about a back-up plan if we need to transfer. We'll go to the hospital I had Luca at (it's less than a mile away) and use whoever is on call. I had always assumed that I would only transfer if there was an emergency and it would end in a c-section, but she said most of her transfers are first time moms who cannot handle the pain or get exhausted. I don't plan on transferring for those reasons...here's hoping I am right!
Last, we talked about whether to do the eye ointment and Vitamin K injections at birth. Both are done standard in hospital births, though you can decline them. The ointment is an antibiotic intended to prevent mom from passing infections to baby as he/she is born. Since the infections it protects against (gonorrhea and chlamydia) are things I don't have, we are declining the ointment. Vitamin K is given to protect baby from birth-related traumas and some disorders that are not always known at birth but could be life-threatening. VitK helps with blood coagulation, bone metabolism, and vascular biology, and most babies will be fine without the injection but there is no way to predict whether or not a baby will have problems without the injection. We're playing it safe and getting the injection, since there's no way to predict for certain if baby will have a deficiency, and the outcomes if he/she does and we decline it at birth could be very bad.
My next appointment is this coming Friday, assuming I make it that far. :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Several Updates.
I've been a lazy blogger, so this will be several updates all at once.
Update 1: 37 weeks pregnant? Yes. 37 weeks pregnant.
I had my 37 week appointment this past Saturday, and this was our home visit. Our midwife comes to our house for a few reasons. First and foremost, she has to be sure it's a safe dwelling for delivering a baby, which really means a roof over the head and reasonably clean. Darrick and I spent quite a bit of time over the past few weeks cleaning our house and getting ready to welcome a baby into it, and I'll openly admit I wanted it to look nice for her visit. No one wants their house to be a mess the first time someone sees it, right? Well...not always right. See, at our LAST appointment, Darrick asked MW why she does the home visit, and she told us the story of the ONE home she visited that was not suitable for a birth. Apparently, it involved 20 cats, 5 men and 1 woman, dirty underwear on the floor, and filth everywhere. Amazingly, hearing this story took some pressure off my need to have a perfectly clean home for her visit, as she assured me that as long as the bongs were stashed away out of site and the dog poop was relegated to ONE room, we'd be fine. :::phew:::
So anyhow, the other main reason our MW makes a home visit is to be sure she knows where we live. Picture going into labor at 3 a.m. and your midwife not being able to find your house. NOT something I want to have happen to me. She also wanted to check to be sure we had all the supplies we need (see previous post...and we do now, thanks to my mom who donated paper bags and old beach towels to 'The Cause'). Of course, the appointment included most of the standard appointment procedures as well (heartrate is in 150s, my belly measured at 36 weeks, baby is head down with back to my left in ideal positioning). I also pointed out my ankle swelling to her (apparently Andre dropped this past week, as it appeared on Thursday when I'd had NONE before) and she giggled at me. Her response was something to the effect of 'You call THAT swelling? That is NOT swelling!', but anyone who's familiar with the Barbie-like proportions of my ankles (too bad the REST of me did not follow suit) will realize that swelling to ME is different than it is to the rest of the civilized world. We talked a little about my labor fear (I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say when I read birth stories involving the word 'bulge' they make my skin crawl), as well as when in labor we need to contact her. All in all, a good if relatively uneventful appointment. I declined having a check done for progress (again, if you don't know what I am referring to, you should probably just consider yourself lucky) because I consider it a lose-lose prospect. I figure if I'm not dilating yet, I'll be sad that means these pains I've been having are for naught. And if I AM dilating, I'll spend from now till labor worrying when it's going to happen and if my water will break in public and and and and....
Our next appointment is this coming Saturday, assuming I make it that far. I'm feeling like baby will be here sometime after March 1st but before my expected due date of March 14th. Darrick is convinced Andre is making a timely arrival like his/her older sister did. I call that wishful thinking on his part, and I love him for his optimism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 2: Sausage?
I'm sort of embarassed to admit this, because I tend to shun fast food in general, and overall I'm a fairly healthy eater, assuming that when one says 'overall' one is allowing some leeway for excess desserts consumed in pregnancy.
That being said, Darrick has created this 'routine' of sorts on the weekend. He takes Luca to Mc Donald's, where they share a Sausage Egg McMuffin (well, and Darrick gets another just for him, but the point is Lu can't eat the whole thing, so their routine is sharing one). While I tried to appreciate the cute Daddy-Daughterness of this little weekend routine (and it really is their routine, because although I sometimes go with, they WILL go without me if I opt out), I knew we had created a monster when, a few weeks ago on our way to the zoo, we pulled into the McD's parking lot, and Luca's eyes lit up. Her little hand shot into the air, pointing at the golden arches, and she exclaimed, "SAUSAGE!!!".
Yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 3: Meh...it'll come later. I am suddenly bored with blogging for now.
Update 1: 37 weeks pregnant? Yes. 37 weeks pregnant.
I had my 37 week appointment this past Saturday, and this was our home visit. Our midwife comes to our house for a few reasons. First and foremost, she has to be sure it's a safe dwelling for delivering a baby, which really means a roof over the head and reasonably clean. Darrick and I spent quite a bit of time over the past few weeks cleaning our house and getting ready to welcome a baby into it, and I'll openly admit I wanted it to look nice for her visit. No one wants their house to be a mess the first time someone sees it, right? Well...not always right. See, at our LAST appointment, Darrick asked MW why she does the home visit, and she told us the story of the ONE home she visited that was not suitable for a birth. Apparently, it involved 20 cats, 5 men and 1 woman, dirty underwear on the floor, and filth everywhere. Amazingly, hearing this story took some pressure off my need to have a perfectly clean home for her visit, as she assured me that as long as the bongs were stashed away out of site and the dog poop was relegated to ONE room, we'd be fine. :::phew:::
So anyhow, the other main reason our MW makes a home visit is to be sure she knows where we live. Picture going into labor at 3 a.m. and your midwife not being able to find your house. NOT something I want to have happen to me. She also wanted to check to be sure we had all the supplies we need (see previous post...and we do now, thanks to my mom who donated paper bags and old beach towels to 'The Cause'). Of course, the appointment included most of the standard appointment procedures as well (heartrate is in 150s, my belly measured at 36 weeks, baby is head down with back to my left in ideal positioning). I also pointed out my ankle swelling to her (apparently Andre dropped this past week, as it appeared on Thursday when I'd had NONE before) and she giggled at me. Her response was something to the effect of 'You call THAT swelling? That is NOT swelling!', but anyone who's familiar with the Barbie-like proportions of my ankles (too bad the REST of me did not follow suit) will realize that swelling to ME is different than it is to the rest of the civilized world. We talked a little about my labor fear (I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say when I read birth stories involving the word 'bulge' they make my skin crawl), as well as when in labor we need to contact her. All in all, a good if relatively uneventful appointment. I declined having a check done for progress (again, if you don't know what I am referring to, you should probably just consider yourself lucky) because I consider it a lose-lose prospect. I figure if I'm not dilating yet, I'll be sad that means these pains I've been having are for naught. And if I AM dilating, I'll spend from now till labor worrying when it's going to happen and if my water will break in public and and and and....
Our next appointment is this coming Saturday, assuming I make it that far. I'm feeling like baby will be here sometime after March 1st but before my expected due date of March 14th. Darrick is convinced Andre is making a timely arrival like his/her older sister did. I call that wishful thinking on his part, and I love him for his optimism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 2: Sausage?
I'm sort of embarassed to admit this, because I tend to shun fast food in general, and overall I'm a fairly healthy eater, assuming that when one says 'overall' one is allowing some leeway for excess desserts consumed in pregnancy.
That being said, Darrick has created this 'routine' of sorts on the weekend. He takes Luca to Mc Donald's, where they share a Sausage Egg McMuffin (well, and Darrick gets another just for him, but the point is Lu can't eat the whole thing, so their routine is sharing one). While I tried to appreciate the cute Daddy-Daughterness of this little weekend routine (and it really is their routine, because although I sometimes go with, they WILL go without me if I opt out), I knew we had created a monster when, a few weeks ago on our way to the zoo, we pulled into the McD's parking lot, and Luca's eyes lit up. Her little hand shot into the air, pointing at the golden arches, and she exclaimed, "SAUSAGE!!!".
Yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 3: Meh...it'll come later. I am suddenly bored with blogging for now.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Prepping for a Homebirth
I get a lot of questions from friends about our homebirth, and I make an effort to address at least some of them here. If nothing else, for posterity's sake. Several of my friends have asked me questions about what we buy and what our midwife provides us to prep for the homebirth. So I'm going to address that here, after I give a little rundown off our last appointment.
I'm 35 weeks now, and yesterday we met with my MW and her apprentice again. The normal stuff (blood pressure, weight gain, baby's heartrate, pee strip) was checked and just fine. She measured me and I am about 1-2 cm ahead again, which has been consistent all pregnancy. She felt baby's body, and little (big?) Andre is head down. She said Andre does not feel exceptionally big, but again she won't be surprised if he/she is a long baby.
We talked about circumcision should Andre be a boy, and she discussed some of the pros and cons, and provided us with a referral to a Mohel. We decided that if we do have a boy AND we do circumcize, we will go this route as we're more comfortable having the procedure done by someone who specializes in it than by a pediatrician who may or may not be so skilled.
We also discussed the placenta. A lot of people have asked me what we will do with it. Many homebirthers consume their placenta (placentas are packed with nutrients and believed to be the #1 most effective means of preventing post partum depression), but this is not in the cards for me. I mean, crap, I won't even eat steak so can you see me eating my own placenta? Lots of homebirthers also have their placenta freeze-dried and made into a powder, which can then go into a capsule to be taken after birth. We don't plan on doing that either. She suggested either burying it under a plant in our yard (or, perhaps, the yards of one of the grandparents) or providing a gallon storage bag to put it in, and she will dispose of it. For those wondering...yes...this means it goes in the big black dumpster on the curb for trash pick up day.
I have the option (just as any pregnant woman in AZ does, though many errantly believe they don't have a choice) to decide whether we get the Vitamin K shot for baby after he/she is born (my MW also suggests looking into the all natural VitK drops, since the synthetic shot may or may not be best for us) as well as whether to get the antibiotic eye ointment. If you're a pregnant woman who wants more info on these 'standard' procedures (as they still are in most of the USA anyhow), I'd suggest you talk to your OB or MW about them, and do some independent research to decide what's best for your baby and your family.
She talked about our home visit, which happens next time, at 37 weeks. She does this visit in part so she can be sure she's able to find our house when it's labor time. She also does it so she can check the conditions of the house and be sure it's a safe place to birth. We joked we'd hide our AK47s and porn for her visit. (And, silently, I started wondering if it's possible I only have 2 weeks left to get this house clean enough that I'm ready for her to come see it AND for me to birth here). So the countdown's on and I'm going to have to spend some time getting this place in order and ready over the next 2 weeks. Anyone have a good housecleaner? ;)
Last, she provided us with our birth kit. This much anticipated kit has many of the items we'll need for the labor and delivery. In addition to it, we have a list of items we're responsible for providing. Chief among the things we had to provide is the birthing tub. We actually bought this off some friends who'd planned to use it for their birth and ended up not doing so. Just to test it out, Darrick opened the box and set it up the other day. As you can see, Luca thinks it's pretty cool.
We also need to provide things like sheets and towels (we'll probably get some cheap ones so we don't mind throwing them away if they get ruined), food and drinks for us, clothes for baby and me (I found a fabulous soft robe for $3.74 at Target, which should be wonderful for when I get out of the tub), bowls for water, washcloths, receiving blankets, and a few other miscellaneous items.
The kit she provided us with contains the other essentials, which I took some pictures of to show here (you're welcome, Elizabeth and Sarah).
First, an herbal tea which is steeped and used in a post-partum bath to relax mom and help her heal:
That can also be added to every new mom's BFF, the peri bottle. If you've never seen or used a peri bottle, it's simply a bottle used by a new mom to keep herself clean when she is recovering from birth. If you need to ask WHERE the water goes, consider yourself lucky that you don't know and consult Google. Also shown in this picture is a pair of oh-so-sexy mesh undies (I realize they look like a square of fabric, not undies, but trust me here). Every woman who's pregnant with her first is all, "Ew. Mesh? Undies? You're kidding, right?", and every woman who's ever been on the other side and enjoyed the miracle that IS mesh undies is all, "Oooooooh! Mesh undies!! Can I wear them ALL the time?":
For mom during labor, there are bendy drinking straws included. I hear these are like slices of heaven, since homebirth moms are encouraged to drink to thirst (Gatorade was on my list of to-purchase items), and having a staw can make that easier.
For after the baby's born, we have glamorous post-partum pads (9 months of no period HAS to be made up for sometime), an umbilical clamp, and a t-shirt and hat (oh my GOSH how tiny and cute and perfect and utterly drooooolable is that hat?!?!?!). I folded the shirt so you can't see the name of my MW's practice, just because I didn't ask her ok to include it here.
The kit also comes with a tape measure, regular chux pads and one large chux pad (again, if you don't know, consider yourself lucky), lots and lots of gloves for the midwife, a gauze pad, some alcohol swabs, a surgical scrub brush for the MW to use to clean her hands and arms, a nasal aspirator bulb, and giant post-partum pads. I didn't include pictures of those items as they aren't really that interesting. But suffice it to say if anyone was planning on bleeding to death at my house anytime in the next 5 or so weeks, I've got enough pads and soakers to prevent a hemmorage.
And speaking of hemmorages, I do get questions sometimes about what emergency supplies my MW brings to the birth. Chief among them, she provides oxygen, pitocin (in case the uterus is not contracting enough on its own post-baby and needs some help doing so...this helps get the placenta out and prevents excessive bleeding), a first aid kit, and many many years of training. We're about 2 minutes from the hospital (I don't exaggerate) should an emergency arise.
And lest anyone think this is some sort of underground, backwoods secret transaction my MW and I are completing, she is required to keep documentation of the labor, delivery, and post-partum recovery just like an OB or a hospital-based midwife would be. Included in the kit was paperwork for my records, information on newborn screenings, a certificate to get baby's footprints, and a form to get baby's birth certificate and social security card.
Oh, and last but not least, since one friend of mine is VERY curious about disposing of things that might be a biohazard in 'the black dumpster at the curb', this bag was in the birth kit, so any biohazards can be properly disposed of.
I'm 35 weeks now, and yesterday we met with my MW and her apprentice again. The normal stuff (blood pressure, weight gain, baby's heartrate, pee strip) was checked and just fine. She measured me and I am about 1-2 cm ahead again, which has been consistent all pregnancy. She felt baby's body, and little (big?) Andre is head down. She said Andre does not feel exceptionally big, but again she won't be surprised if he/she is a long baby.
We talked about circumcision should Andre be a boy, and she discussed some of the pros and cons, and provided us with a referral to a Mohel. We decided that if we do have a boy AND we do circumcize, we will go this route as we're more comfortable having the procedure done by someone who specializes in it than by a pediatrician who may or may not be so skilled.
We also discussed the placenta. A lot of people have asked me what we will do with it. Many homebirthers consume their placenta (placentas are packed with nutrients and believed to be the #1 most effective means of preventing post partum depression), but this is not in the cards for me. I mean, crap, I won't even eat steak so can you see me eating my own placenta? Lots of homebirthers also have their placenta freeze-dried and made into a powder, which can then go into a capsule to be taken after birth. We don't plan on doing that either. She suggested either burying it under a plant in our yard (or, perhaps, the yards of one of the grandparents) or providing a gallon storage bag to put it in, and she will dispose of it. For those wondering...yes...this means it goes in the big black dumpster on the curb for trash pick up day.
I have the option (just as any pregnant woman in AZ does, though many errantly believe they don't have a choice) to decide whether we get the Vitamin K shot for baby after he/she is born (my MW also suggests looking into the all natural VitK drops, since the synthetic shot may or may not be best for us) as well as whether to get the antibiotic eye ointment. If you're a pregnant woman who wants more info on these 'standard' procedures (as they still are in most of the USA anyhow), I'd suggest you talk to your OB or MW about them, and do some independent research to decide what's best for your baby and your family.
She talked about our home visit, which happens next time, at 37 weeks. She does this visit in part so she can be sure she's able to find our house when it's labor time. She also does it so she can check the conditions of the house and be sure it's a safe place to birth. We joked we'd hide our AK47s and porn for her visit. (And, silently, I started wondering if it's possible I only have 2 weeks left to get this house clean enough that I'm ready for her to come see it AND for me to birth here). So the countdown's on and I'm going to have to spend some time getting this place in order and ready over the next 2 weeks. Anyone have a good housecleaner? ;)
Last, she provided us with our birth kit. This much anticipated kit has many of the items we'll need for the labor and delivery. In addition to it, we have a list of items we're responsible for providing. Chief among the things we had to provide is the birthing tub. We actually bought this off some friends who'd planned to use it for their birth and ended up not doing so. Just to test it out, Darrick opened the box and set it up the other day. As you can see, Luca thinks it's pretty cool.
We also need to provide things like sheets and towels (we'll probably get some cheap ones so we don't mind throwing them away if they get ruined), food and drinks for us, clothes for baby and me (I found a fabulous soft robe for $3.74 at Target, which should be wonderful for when I get out of the tub), bowls for water, washcloths, receiving blankets, and a few other miscellaneous items.
The kit she provided us with contains the other essentials, which I took some pictures of to show here (you're welcome, Elizabeth and Sarah).
First, an herbal tea which is steeped and used in a post-partum bath to relax mom and help her heal:
That can also be added to every new mom's BFF, the peri bottle. If you've never seen or used a peri bottle, it's simply a bottle used by a new mom to keep herself clean when she is recovering from birth. If you need to ask WHERE the water goes, consider yourself lucky that you don't know and consult Google. Also shown in this picture is a pair of oh-so-sexy mesh undies (I realize they look like a square of fabric, not undies, but trust me here). Every woman who's pregnant with her first is all, "Ew. Mesh? Undies? You're kidding, right?", and every woman who's ever been on the other side and enjoyed the miracle that IS mesh undies is all, "Oooooooh! Mesh undies!! Can I wear them ALL the time?":
For mom during labor, there are bendy drinking straws included. I hear these are like slices of heaven, since homebirth moms are encouraged to drink to thirst (Gatorade was on my list of to-purchase items), and having a staw can make that easier.
For after the baby's born, we have glamorous post-partum pads (9 months of no period HAS to be made up for sometime), an umbilical clamp, and a t-shirt and hat (oh my GOSH how tiny and cute and perfect and utterly drooooolable is that hat?!?!?!). I folded the shirt so you can't see the name of my MW's practice, just because I didn't ask her ok to include it here.
The kit also comes with a tape measure, regular chux pads and one large chux pad (again, if you don't know, consider yourself lucky), lots and lots of gloves for the midwife, a gauze pad, some alcohol swabs, a surgical scrub brush for the MW to use to clean her hands and arms, a nasal aspirator bulb, and giant post-partum pads. I didn't include pictures of those items as they aren't really that interesting. But suffice it to say if anyone was planning on bleeding to death at my house anytime in the next 5 or so weeks, I've got enough pads and soakers to prevent a hemmorage.
And speaking of hemmorages, I do get questions sometimes about what emergency supplies my MW brings to the birth. Chief among them, she provides oxygen, pitocin (in case the uterus is not contracting enough on its own post-baby and needs some help doing so...this helps get the placenta out and prevents excessive bleeding), a first aid kit, and many many years of training. We're about 2 minutes from the hospital (I don't exaggerate) should an emergency arise.
And lest anyone think this is some sort of underground, backwoods secret transaction my MW and I are completing, she is required to keep documentation of the labor, delivery, and post-partum recovery just like an OB or a hospital-based midwife would be. Included in the kit was paperwork for my records, information on newborn screenings, a certificate to get baby's footprints, and a form to get baby's birth certificate and social security card.
Oh, and last but not least, since one friend of mine is VERY curious about disposing of things that might be a biohazard in 'the black dumpster at the curb', this bag was in the birth kit, so any biohazards can be properly disposed of.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Appointment time again!
Remember my post about the Belgian Waffle craving? And how I almost switched to the pancakes but decided to hold off on them until the morning of my next appointment? Because I needed to carb up prior to getting my blood drawn to check for Gestational Diabetes?
So, my day started off less than ideal. My appointment was at 9 today, which meant I needed to finish breeakfast by 8 am so my blood would be drawn at least 1 hour after eating. I loaded Luca into the car and decided to brave IHOP alone, in search of pancake nrivana. I had planned on a feast of lemon blueberry streusel pancakes, and IHOP no longer has them. Apparently I looked sad (and fat) enough, so the waitress went and asked if they had the batter still to see if she could whip me up an approximation of the dreamcakes, but to no avail. I opted for stuffed french toast...good, but not the same. Luca got an order of 2 sausage links (she LOVES sausage for breeakfast), which she took maybe 3 bites of before repeatedly telling me, "All done, mama." Over and over. And over. And did I mention repeatedly? And over and over again? Yeah. I thought so.
My appointment went well. Two of my Midwife's apprentices were there, so everyone got to measure the belly (a bit ahead at 32-33 cm), feel the baby (position is exactly as I expected, with head down in left hipbone and feet in right ribcage), listen to the HB (150s) and do my blood pressure reading (fine and dandy).
I told our MW we nicknamed the baby Andre the Giant, and she laughed. She asked how long Luca was (22.5 inches) and I told her my mom's 2nd was 24 inches long. She nodded, smiled, and said, "It wouldn't surprise me if yours is about that." Eeek! She DID tell me baby feels lean, and his/her head feels fairly small-average sized, which was good to hear.
She gave me the option to not step on the scale this week (what with the holidays and the stuffed french toast just consumed), but I did and everything is fine there. If, by fine you mean "Holy shit I am a beast of a whale of a beast! I never want to weigh this much ever again! Could you amputate an arm or something since dieting is verbotin in pregnancy?!?!". But, really, she was not worried so I tried to act casual as the absurdity of stepping on the scale and announcing my new, higher than ever weight to 3 women hit me. Never in my life would I do that, except in pregnancy. Then again, when else in life do I invite a kindly woman I scarcely know to come to my home and prod my netherlands? Yeah, the answer there is never. But I figure I'm already pregnant, so I may as well LIVE a litte!
My next appointment is in 2 weeks, and I get the birth kit. In it will be things like a footprint kit, cord clamp, chux pads (if you don't know, consider yourself lucky and move on), a peri bottle and herbs (again, don't ask...just keep skimming), and other essentials. Once I get a good look in there, I'll have some stocking up to do as I need to buy some towels and plastic sheets to protect our floor and bed, along with a few other things I'm sure. The appointment following that is at my house. Which means I better start doing some cleaning and organizing now, so that things are set for her visit and the birth that follows sometime in the next 2 months or so. Anytime after 36 weeks if I go into labor we're good to go.
Well...I should say anytime after 36 weeks, we are hypothetically good to go. But the closer I get to that day, the more I get scared by all the silly things. I'm not worried about something going wrong in labor or with the baby. I'm more worried about things like the pain of contractions...whether my dogs will spazz out...more contractions...how Darrick will react...did I mention contractions?...whether we will keep Luca here (I'd prefer to) or send her off with family (may be necessary)...transition contractions...whether the tub will really help me...crowning. I feel as if there is so much prep work yet to be done. It's mental (psyching myself up), emotional (dealing with adding another kid into the mix, Luca not being our 'only', the emotion of a new baby and postpartum hormonal wackiness), spiritual (not to get all new-agey, but hello? human life being created here!), and physical (human life not only being created, but also expelled from whence it came).
But it is also practical. How many towels do we need? Should the tub be downstairs where there is more light and room but less privacy and no toilet close by or upstairs in our room where it will be more crowded and I may hate having the permanent association of giving birth? Will we have enough hot water? Do we call our families early in labor or after baby comes? What kind of food will we want to eat in labor and after? If I invite Elizabeth over for stew later that week, will she be able to guess the secret ingredient is placenta (I KID, Elizabeth!! I KID!! We're making jerky instead...you like jerky, right?)? What will I wear in labor? Should I create a music playlist? And on...and on...and on. I think the practical distractions keep me from getting too worried over the pain of childbirth, but I am not entirely sure about that. I just know I have SO much to prepare, and it's coming up fast!!
So, my day started off less than ideal. My appointment was at 9 today, which meant I needed to finish breeakfast by 8 am so my blood would be drawn at least 1 hour after eating. I loaded Luca into the car and decided to brave IHOP alone, in search of pancake nrivana. I had planned on a feast of lemon blueberry streusel pancakes, and IHOP no longer has them. Apparently I looked sad (and fat) enough, so the waitress went and asked if they had the batter still to see if she could whip me up an approximation of the dreamcakes, but to no avail. I opted for stuffed french toast...good, but not the same. Luca got an order of 2 sausage links (she LOVES sausage for breeakfast), which she took maybe 3 bites of before repeatedly telling me, "All done, mama." Over and over. And over. And did I mention repeatedly? And over and over again? Yeah. I thought so.
My appointment went well. Two of my Midwife's apprentices were there, so everyone got to measure the belly (a bit ahead at 32-33 cm), feel the baby (position is exactly as I expected, with head down in left hipbone and feet in right ribcage), listen to the HB (150s) and do my blood pressure reading (fine and dandy).
I told our MW we nicknamed the baby Andre the Giant, and she laughed. She asked how long Luca was (22.5 inches) and I told her my mom's 2nd was 24 inches long. She nodded, smiled, and said, "It wouldn't surprise me if yours is about that." Eeek! She DID tell me baby feels lean, and his/her head feels fairly small-average sized, which was good to hear.
She gave me the option to not step on the scale this week (what with the holidays and the stuffed french toast just consumed), but I did and everything is fine there. If, by fine you mean "Holy shit I am a beast of a whale of a beast! I never want to weigh this much ever again! Could you amputate an arm or something since dieting is verbotin in pregnancy?!?!". But, really, she was not worried so I tried to act casual as the absurdity of stepping on the scale and announcing my new, higher than ever weight to 3 women hit me. Never in my life would I do that, except in pregnancy. Then again, when else in life do I invite a kindly woman I scarcely know to come to my home and prod my netherlands? Yeah, the answer there is never. But I figure I'm already pregnant, so I may as well LIVE a litte!
My next appointment is in 2 weeks, and I get the birth kit. In it will be things like a footprint kit, cord clamp, chux pads (if you don't know, consider yourself lucky and move on), a peri bottle and herbs (again, don't ask...just keep skimming), and other essentials. Once I get a good look in there, I'll have some stocking up to do as I need to buy some towels and plastic sheets to protect our floor and bed, along with a few other things I'm sure. The appointment following that is at my house. Which means I better start doing some cleaning and organizing now, so that things are set for her visit and the birth that follows sometime in the next 2 months or so. Anytime after 36 weeks if I go into labor we're good to go.
Well...I should say anytime after 36 weeks, we are hypothetically good to go. But the closer I get to that day, the more I get scared by all the silly things. I'm not worried about something going wrong in labor or with the baby. I'm more worried about things like the pain of contractions...whether my dogs will spazz out...more contractions...how Darrick will react...did I mention contractions?...whether we will keep Luca here (I'd prefer to) or send her off with family (may be necessary)...transition contractions...whether the tub will really help me...crowning. I feel as if there is so much prep work yet to be done. It's mental (psyching myself up), emotional (dealing with adding another kid into the mix, Luca not being our 'only', the emotion of a new baby and postpartum hormonal wackiness), spiritual (not to get all new-agey, but hello? human life being created here!), and physical (human life not only being created, but also expelled from whence it came).
But it is also practical. How many towels do we need? Should the tub be downstairs where there is more light and room but less privacy and no toilet close by or upstairs in our room where it will be more crowded and I may hate having the permanent association of giving birth? Will we have enough hot water? Do we call our families early in labor or after baby comes? What kind of food will we want to eat in labor and after? If I invite Elizabeth over for stew later that week, will she be able to guess the secret ingredient is placenta (I KID, Elizabeth!! I KID!! We're making jerky instead...you like jerky, right?)? What will I wear in labor? Should I create a music playlist? And on...and on...and on. I think the practical distractions keep me from getting too worried over the pain of childbirth, but I am not entirely sure about that. I just know I have SO much to prepare, and it's coming up fast!!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
25 Weeks, 6 Days.
Damn...I cannot believe I am so far along already. This pregnancy is flying by, but then at the same time when I realize I've spent half this year pregnant, it blows my mind.
Today was my regular monthly check-up with my MW, and things are going well. Baby is lying transverse (in other words, taking full advantage of my hammock hips and stretching out side to side), which she could tell immediately by placing her hands on the sides of my waist. In her words, "Baby must be transverse, because your belly is wide across here." Yeah, we'll go with that...I'm absolutely ok with blaming my wideness on the baby. ::wink wink::
Baby's heartrate was in the 150s, my uterus was measuring 27 cm (typically your uterus height is about 1 cm per week of gestation, but it's ok for it to vary up to a few cms either way as long as it continues to grow), and my blood pressure was a little low, but perrfectly ok. I have an anterior placenta (which means it's across the front of my body, between baby and my belly) which probably explains why I feel a lot less movement with this pregnancy that with the last. We talked a bit about nutrition and weight gain (both of which I am fine on, according to her, but I wouldn't be sad if the weight gain slowed a bit), and she predicted another long, lean baby for me. That makes sense, given Luca was long-ish at 22 inches and lean at 6 lbs, 7 oz. It also makes sense given my pregnancies seem to mirror my mom's to a large extent and my brother (her second) was 23 inches long at birth.
In other news, my next appointment is in January, and it'll be the test for Gestational Diabetes. Unlike an OB, she won't be sending me to a lab for the orange drink. Instead, she gave me the option of coming in for a blood draw two hours after eating any of the following:
- 18 large jelly beans
- a large candy bar
- a carb-loaded meal
I chose the carb-loaded meal, so I'll be having a guilt free heaping serving of pancakes or french toast early that morning and then getting my pancreas levels tested for signs of GD. Have I mentioned I love my midwife?
In other news, my options for natural childbirth classes were limited. I was debating between Bradley classes and Hypnobirthing, but in the end I won't be able to do either. Both classes are a series that takes place over 8 - 12 weeks, and because the holidays fall 3 months before I am due, there are none I can get into that would finish on time for me. I'd hate to invest 11 weeks and $300 just to miss the last class that may hold the most important information. So I opted instead to buy the book "Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method" which comes with a CDRom to listen to leading up to and during labor. I've started reading the book, and will begin listening to the CD this week. I'm also going to read the Bradley book because, well, why not? It can't hurt....right?
Today was my regular monthly check-up with my MW, and things are going well. Baby is lying transverse (in other words, taking full advantage of my hammock hips and stretching out side to side), which she could tell immediately by placing her hands on the sides of my waist. In her words, "Baby must be transverse, because your belly is wide across here." Yeah, we'll go with that...I'm absolutely ok with blaming my wideness on the baby. ::wink wink::
Baby's heartrate was in the 150s, my uterus was measuring 27 cm (typically your uterus height is about 1 cm per week of gestation, but it's ok for it to vary up to a few cms either way as long as it continues to grow), and my blood pressure was a little low, but perrfectly ok. I have an anterior placenta (which means it's across the front of my body, between baby and my belly) which probably explains why I feel a lot less movement with this pregnancy that with the last. We talked a bit about nutrition and weight gain (both of which I am fine on, according to her, but I wouldn't be sad if the weight gain slowed a bit), and she predicted another long, lean baby for me. That makes sense, given Luca was long-ish at 22 inches and lean at 6 lbs, 7 oz. It also makes sense given my pregnancies seem to mirror my mom's to a large extent and my brother (her second) was 23 inches long at birth.
In other news, my next appointment is in January, and it'll be the test for Gestational Diabetes. Unlike an OB, she won't be sending me to a lab for the orange drink. Instead, she gave me the option of coming in for a blood draw two hours after eating any of the following:
- 18 large jelly beans
- a large candy bar
- a carb-loaded meal
I chose the carb-loaded meal, so I'll be having a guilt free heaping serving of pancakes or french toast early that morning and then getting my pancreas levels tested for signs of GD. Have I mentioned I love my midwife?
In other news, my options for natural childbirth classes were limited. I was debating between Bradley classes and Hypnobirthing, but in the end I won't be able to do either. Both classes are a series that takes place over 8 - 12 weeks, and because the holidays fall 3 months before I am due, there are none I can get into that would finish on time for me. I'd hate to invest 11 weeks and $300 just to miss the last class that may hold the most important information. So I opted instead to buy the book "Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method" which comes with a CDRom to listen to leading up to and during labor. I've started reading the book, and will begin listening to the CD this week. I'm also going to read the Bradley book because, well, why not? It can't hurt....right?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Holy Hell.
I had a scary realization today.
I am pregnant. And due in about 17 weeks.
I am going to have a baby. At home. With no drugs. And too much of a 'rule-follower' mentality to even take a shot of whiskey to dull the pain. Just a birth tub, my husband, and a midwife.
Holy hell. What did I get myself into?!?!?!
I am pregnant. And due in about 17 weeks.
I am going to have a baby. At home. With no drugs. And too much of a 'rule-follower' mentality to even take a shot of whiskey to dull the pain. Just a birth tub, my husband, and a midwife.
Holy hell. What did I get myself into?!?!?!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Some random updates.
I'm officially in my 5th month of pregnancy now. Holy shit...when did THAT happen?!?! I had an appointment with my MW last weekend. It was a busy day, so Darrick ended up staying home while Luca and I went. Everything is going well; weight gain is low but fine, blood pressure and all past bloodwork are normal, and baby Sprinkle seems to be growing just fine. Sprinkle's heart rate was 163, and he/she was moving like crazy when our MW put the doppler on to listen to the HR. We talked about whether or not we will get another ultrasound (most people have one between 18 and 22 weeks to check the baby's growth, location of the placenta, amniotic fluid levels, and baby's brain and vital organs). A lot of moms who homebirth skip u/s entirely, unless there's a medical indication one is needed (less fetal movement, trouble finding heart beat, growing too fast or slow, etc). However, my MW told me a good number of the moms she works with do the u/s around 20 weeks, both to see the baby and to find out the sex. Since we're not planning on finding out the sex and we had an u/s and pretty in-depth bloodwork at 13 weeks, she left it entirely up to us to decide whether to have another u/s done. We're leaning toward not having one...everything indicates both baby and I are healthy, growth is on target, and the previous u/s and bloodwork show us things are very likely to be just fine. It's a decision we still have time to make: the MW can give us a referral at any time for an u/s, so we have time to change our minds.
I sometimes get random questions from friends and family about what care under a HB midwife is like. One question I get is, "Do you have to pee in a cup?". Indeed, I do. The only real difference is that I pee in the cup, dip my own test strip in, dump the pee, and hand the strip off to my MW. My MW did give me shit for not eating or drinking enough that day (apparently those pee strips you do tell a LOT more than I knew), so I need to be more conscientious about my food and drink intake, especially when I get busy.
Another question I get is about whether I have to weigh in at every appointment. I do, but it's not as strict as most MW/OB practices. She has a normal bathroom scale, and I step on and report to her what it says. At my last appointment, I forgot to step on the scale, but she asked me about my weight gain and I told her what I'd gained, and she was happy with it. It's kind of nice to not have 'scale stress' at every appointment!
Also on the baby front, I am really feeling this baby move now. I've been feeling 'flutters' and 'bubbles' since I was about 12 weeks along, but now it's real movement I am feeling. I forgot how awesome this part of pregnancy is! It really drives home for me that I need to take more time to focus on myself and prepping for this birth.
In other news, Darrick underwent rotator cuff (shoulder) surgery on Tuesday of this week. Back in mid-August, he tore a ligament in a jiu-jitsu tournament, and he needed to have it repaired. He's on fall break right now, so he thought that would be the best time to do it. The surgery went really well, and the Dr was confident he'd recover quickly and fully. In the meantime, though, he's going to have to take it very easy and he's dealing with a significant amount of pain. It's been rough on him to have to get help with things like putting on a shirt, and Luca's had to learn that Daddy has an 'owie' and be gentle with him. But he's doing pretty great and I have no doubt he'll recover like a champ. :)
I sometimes get random questions from friends and family about what care under a HB midwife is like. One question I get is, "Do you have to pee in a cup?". Indeed, I do. The only real difference is that I pee in the cup, dip my own test strip in, dump the pee, and hand the strip off to my MW. My MW did give me shit for not eating or drinking enough that day (apparently those pee strips you do tell a LOT more than I knew), so I need to be more conscientious about my food and drink intake, especially when I get busy.
Another question I get is about whether I have to weigh in at every appointment. I do, but it's not as strict as most MW/OB practices. She has a normal bathroom scale, and I step on and report to her what it says. At my last appointment, I forgot to step on the scale, but she asked me about my weight gain and I told her what I'd gained, and she was happy with it. It's kind of nice to not have 'scale stress' at every appointment!
Also on the baby front, I am really feeling this baby move now. I've been feeling 'flutters' and 'bubbles' since I was about 12 weeks along, but now it's real movement I am feeling. I forgot how awesome this part of pregnancy is! It really drives home for me that I need to take more time to focus on myself and prepping for this birth.
In other news, Darrick underwent rotator cuff (shoulder) surgery on Tuesday of this week. Back in mid-August, he tore a ligament in a jiu-jitsu tournament, and he needed to have it repaired. He's on fall break right now, so he thought that would be the best time to do it. The surgery went really well, and the Dr was confident he'd recover quickly and fully. In the meantime, though, he's going to have to take it very easy and he's dealing with a significant amount of pain. It's been rough on him to have to get help with things like putting on a shirt, and Luca's had to learn that Daddy has an 'owie' and be gentle with him. But he's doing pretty great and I have no doubt he'll recover like a champ. :)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Why I Love My Midwife.
On Thursday, I was supposed to go straight from my ultrasound to my Midwife's office for a prenatal and some bloodwork. However, the ultrasound took much longer than anticipated, mostly because baby was not super cooperative, so by the time I got out I was already 15 minutes late and still 15 minutes away. I called MW and asked her what she wanted me to do and she asked me to come Friday instead. I agreed, and we set an appointment time for the afternoon. It was at 1:30, so Darrick wouldn't be able to be there, but that was no big deal.
Let me set up the scene for an appointment with my MW. Her office is in her home, in a back entrance. She lives about 15 minutes from us, in a pretty rural area where the norm is still to have horses and goats and other farm animals. To get to her house, you drive down a narrow gravel and dirt lane, and look for 'the house with the green roof'. It's a large ranch home with a huge backyard that houses 3 horses, 2 turkeys, some chickens, 3 (I think...maybe 4?) dogs, and an undetermined amount of cats. The cats all look exactly alike, so while I know there are at least 2, there could be JUST 2 or 14 for all I can tell.
Anyhow, when I pull up, I park in the dirt and walk to her office door. Next to the door is their oldest dog, a female who is blind and deaf and, MW reports, so sedate they often walk by and have to stop to make sure she's still breathing. Her office has dark wood floors, a comfy couch, a bathroom with a large tub (fun fact: her daughter's first child was born in that room, in the same bed in which her Grandmother was born), tons of books, and an exam table.
All these details are not the reason I love my midwife, but I will admit the feeling I get at her office helps my overall sense of calm when I'm with her. Luca and I got there early on Friday and she was with another patient, so we went out and looked at the horses and turkeys....who DOES that??? It's definitely NOT something I've ever done while waiting to see an OB.
After MW was done with her other patient, Luca and I went in and took a seat. Her apprentice was there, and we all talked for a bit about how things were going. As we were talking, the fax from the ultrasound place came through, so she grabbed it and sat next to me so I could read it as well. Most OBs wouldn't let you read the file, so that was pretty refreshing as well. The info was all stuff the Dr and genetic counselor at the ultrasound place had reviewed with me, but we talked about what it meant and what the next steps were. She then drew some blood for a regular panel, to be sure all my organs are functioning ok and I have no anemia. She let me refuse the HIV, gonorrhea, and chlamydia tests, since I've had them before and am in a monogomous relationship...who wants to pay for tests you don't really need? AND she was able to get my vein and get the blood in one shot, without having to stick me multiple times, dig around, and blow veins like most people do to me.
She also took my BP (normal) and had me get on the scale (2 pounds up, but this was after lunch so who counts that?). After that, we listened to the baby's heart beat. This was cool: she had me lie back a bit and she felt my belly for a few seconds, stopping and saying, "There's baby!". She grabbed the doppler, put it right where she'd felt baby, and got the HB right away. I was pretty amazed she was that accurate.
After all that was done, we sat for a bit and talked about random things: waterbirth (she loaned me a DVD to watch), dads and homebirth (a DVD on that, too), nutrition (I forgot my journal, so I'm bringing it next time), and what other tests she'll do in pregnancy. It's just so easy to talk to her, and her apprentice, and I adore them both. Keep in mind, while this is happening, Luca is running around the office playing with the toys, sitting in the kid chairs at the kid table, talking up a storm, etc....and no one bats an eye. They think it's important for kids to be there for these things, and the whole family to be involved as much as possible, which I also think is awesome.
When Luca and I left, both MW and Apprentice gave us hugs, and as we got in the car, I checked my clock. It had been over an hour. That's right: I'd spent over an hour with them, getting checked, talking, discussing my options for care (not what she insists I do, but what my choices are), and just generally discussing childbirth and kids and family. What's NOT to like about that?
Let me set up the scene for an appointment with my MW. Her office is in her home, in a back entrance. She lives about 15 minutes from us, in a pretty rural area where the norm is still to have horses and goats and other farm animals. To get to her house, you drive down a narrow gravel and dirt lane, and look for 'the house with the green roof'. It's a large ranch home with a huge backyard that houses 3 horses, 2 turkeys, some chickens, 3 (I think...maybe 4?) dogs, and an undetermined amount of cats. The cats all look exactly alike, so while I know there are at least 2, there could be JUST 2 or 14 for all I can tell.
Anyhow, when I pull up, I park in the dirt and walk to her office door. Next to the door is their oldest dog, a female who is blind and deaf and, MW reports, so sedate they often walk by and have to stop to make sure she's still breathing. Her office has dark wood floors, a comfy couch, a bathroom with a large tub (fun fact: her daughter's first child was born in that room, in the same bed in which her Grandmother was born), tons of books, and an exam table.
All these details are not the reason I love my midwife, but I will admit the feeling I get at her office helps my overall sense of calm when I'm with her. Luca and I got there early on Friday and she was with another patient, so we went out and looked at the horses and turkeys....who DOES that??? It's definitely NOT something I've ever done while waiting to see an OB.
After MW was done with her other patient, Luca and I went in and took a seat. Her apprentice was there, and we all talked for a bit about how things were going. As we were talking, the fax from the ultrasound place came through, so she grabbed it and sat next to me so I could read it as well. Most OBs wouldn't let you read the file, so that was pretty refreshing as well. The info was all stuff the Dr and genetic counselor at the ultrasound place had reviewed with me, but we talked about what it meant and what the next steps were. She then drew some blood for a regular panel, to be sure all my organs are functioning ok and I have no anemia. She let me refuse the HIV, gonorrhea, and chlamydia tests, since I've had them before and am in a monogomous relationship...who wants to pay for tests you don't really need? AND she was able to get my vein and get the blood in one shot, without having to stick me multiple times, dig around, and blow veins like most people do to me.
She also took my BP (normal) and had me get on the scale (2 pounds up, but this was after lunch so who counts that?). After that, we listened to the baby's heart beat. This was cool: she had me lie back a bit and she felt my belly for a few seconds, stopping and saying, "There's baby!". She grabbed the doppler, put it right where she'd felt baby, and got the HB right away. I was pretty amazed she was that accurate.
After all that was done, we sat for a bit and talked about random things: waterbirth (she loaned me a DVD to watch), dads and homebirth (a DVD on that, too), nutrition (I forgot my journal, so I'm bringing it next time), and what other tests she'll do in pregnancy. It's just so easy to talk to her, and her apprentice, and I adore them both. Keep in mind, while this is happening, Luca is running around the office playing with the toys, sitting in the kid chairs at the kid table, talking up a storm, etc....and no one bats an eye. They think it's important for kids to be there for these things, and the whole family to be involved as much as possible, which I also think is awesome.
When Luca and I left, both MW and Apprentice gave us hugs, and as we got in the car, I checked my clock. It had been over an hour. That's right: I'd spent over an hour with them, getting checked, talking, discussing my options for care (not what she insists I do, but what my choices are), and just generally discussing childbirth and kids and family. What's NOT to like about that?
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