Monday, March 22, 2010

Recommit.

Every day, I make the decision to recommit.

I wake up and remind myself, "Today is another day and another chance to make the right choices."

From the moment I wake each day, I am planning what the day will look like and how it will help me (or not) to reach my goal. What kind of breakfast will start the day off right, with a full belly to sustain me all morning? What will I eat for lunch? Do we have enough healthy options for me to pack my lunch and take it (which I do usually at least 4 of 5 work days)? Or will I be going out for lunch today? What about snacks? Water? What goes in my coffee? What are we going to eat for dinner tonight?

And then I get to work, and I recommit again when faced with the Ziploc of Skittles on the breakroom table or the donuts and bagels at the morning meeting. Instead of partaking, I drop off my own illicit goodies on the table for the lovely, beautiful women I work with to indulge on in my place. Leftover brownie bites from a weekend playdate? On the table. Cookies I baked late last night when I couldn't sleep and needed to wind down (because baking is therapy for my mind and my hands)? On the table. Shoot...even those Skittles in the Ziploc baggie were mine prior to finding their new home on the table.

At night, most of all, I make the choice to recommit. I choose the Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich over 14 Oreos dunked in milk. I opt for water instead of chocolate milk before bed. I brush my teeth early so I'm not tempted to mindlessly nibble on goodies. I read a book or clean instead of snacking. And sometimes I even go to bed way before my normal bedtime because if I'm sleeping I'm not eating.

I used to think of it as a bad thing. Wake up in the morning and "Goddamnit I'm STILL doing this thing?!?!". But something happened to me recently, and I experienced an attitude shift. I'm not sure how this happened (magic fairies in the middle of the night?) but I woke the other day and thought to myself, "Today I'm making the choice to recommit. And tomorrow too. And the next day."

Because I feel better when I eat better.

Because I have a slow-moving scale, but a fast-paced life, and there's no time to feel sorry for myself.

Because I have a daughter who is beautiful and wise and funny as hell and she looks up to me and thinks I am beautiful how I am. And I want to make her proud of me, but I also want to be the kind of woman I hope she'll grow up to be. And that means a woman who is healthy and is willing to commit to herself.

Because I have a son, who I want to grow up to view a woman's worth as more than her beauty. And whom I also want to grow up seeing him mom committing to herself and being healthy.

Because I have a closet full of clothes and not much I can wear.

Because it feels good to be in control.

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I am down two pounds this week, and I'd like to think it's because every day last week, I made the decision to recommit. So here's to many more days of Recommit.



I have been getting a lot of 'spambot' comments lately, so for the time being I am using the stupid 'word verification' tool for comments. I hate it but I also hate the blow to the ego when I think I have 3 comments and they are all spam.

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

Congratulations on the 2 lbs!! I am in the same position - recommit every day. I do well most days, but I need to do better. I agree with you, I feel tons better when I eat right and I sleep better and I wake up rested. I have way more energy in general. Lots of reasons to keep going!

Blair@HeirtoBlair said...

Congratulations on the 2 lbs!

and I love this post. Every bit of it. I also feel that "re-commitment" every damn day, but it is so worth it. & honestly? It makes me feel good.

I recommit every time I walk by the donuts in the work room today. & I don't miss them. I feel BETTER about myself for saying "no."

& I get skinnier. win-win!

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