Thursday, March 1, 2012

I'm Falling Behind.

On running. (Eek! Pat's Run soooo clooooose)

On housework (Hello, giant mountain of laundry to hang and put away!)

On the meditation challenge.

On grocery shopping.

On blogging.

On writing that book I want to write.

On plucking my eyebrows.

On work.

On fun.

I spent 4 days in Washington, D.C. this past week, and I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. But, oddly, more sure of the things that matter to me in life and more able to define my work than ever before.

I visited the Hill. I bit my tongue when an old man on the plane warned my friend and me not to 'turn into Democrats' during out visit, chalking it up to old people cluelessness. Plus, he had adorably oversized ears and a huge belt buckle. And anyone who knows me well knows I have a soft spot for sweet, clueless old men.

I visited the Holocaust museum for the first time. It has been on my list since my first visit in 2006, and this week I checked off that box. I even got hit on while touring the 4th floor, which was mildly flattering but more so disconcerting and sort of creepy.

I saw people I've come to consider good friends thanks to a common profession and regular conference run-ins. I drank too much rum and danced with other people, whom I consider good friends because they are. Because we've shared offices and desserts and jokes and life stories. Because we've cried in front of each other and held space to witness each others' successes and challenges and heartbreaks and joys. I got a shout-out from a professional woman I admire greatly. I was invited to a very small and, in my mind, prestigious meeting with a federal agency. I ran after a woman in the hotel lobby who had come to the conference to share her personal story, just so I could thank her for the bravery and power of her words. I listened to a keynote speech that made me tear up with the power of humanity.

And then I came home. I walked onto the curb outside of the terminal and from the backseat of my mom's truck I saw two bright eyed kids practically pouncing out of their seats at the sight of me. We held hands the whole way home and when I put them down to nap I eagerly waited for them to wake. When Rohan crawled in beside me at night, stealing my covers and my physical space, I huddled into his warmth and felt his hair brush my face and I begged my body to stay awake a little longer so I could breathe in his sweetness.

I woke up surrounded by blonde hair and peach-soft cheeks and wanted to freeze that moment.

I am behind on cuddles and kisses and story time. I am behind on glitter and markers and bottles of Elmer's glue. I am behind on soccer practice and couch cuddle puddles and popcorn and hot chocolate.

But I am full up on contentment and love.

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