Sunday, August 17, 2008

These things, they happen.

I should preface this with a little Good News/Bad News.
Good news first: Darrick competed in a jiu jitsu tournament this weekend. It was his first in a few years, and he took home two gold medals for the heavyweight class.
Bad news next: He also took home a severely effed up shoulder. He actually injured it in the second competition, the one where they go without their gi (you know, the Karate Kid outfit?) and wrestle in shorts and t-shirts. A giant man landed on his shoulder and - we think - tore a ligament. Of course, being that my husband is more manly than metro, he continued on to wrestle 4 other giant men and jack the shoulder up further. The result is he's practically an invalid who can't move one whole arm, is in pain, and can't even do simple things like put on his shirt or carry Luca.

So all day today, we've been dealing with this injury, meaning he's had to avoid most things he's usually really good about doing: filling Luca's sippy cup (it's a 2-handed job unscrewing the top and cleaning it), putting away dishes, carrying things, taking out the trash, etc. About an hour before Luca's bedtime, he also had to ask me help him record grades for his classes, since sorting through papers and entering scores would not be very efficient one-handed. I agreed to help, but made him take a break about 20 minutes before Luca's bedtime so we could play with her. We checked her diaper before getting her jammies on, and she had a dirty diaper.

****WARNING: If you are offended by talk of baby poop, kindly stop reading here****



So, it's a mom euphamism to refer to a poo-filled diaper as 'dirty'. We all know it's not just dirty, it's also foul smelling, dangerous, and often a very clear reminder of just how balanced - or not - your darling child's diet is. In this case, we were reminded that Luca really likes corn...and that corn essentially looks the same on the way out as it did on the way in. Darrick offered to try to change the diaper, so we both sat on the floor, facing each other, with Luca between us. I had the head end, he had the bum (Which, by they way, happens to be one of her new words: Bum.) end and the wipes. He pulled back her diaper and I did the 'dipe swipe' wherein you attempt to get all poo possible off the bum and into the dipe so you can avoid: (a) having to clean gobs off with a baby wipe, (b) baby getting a foot or hand into the poo, (c) baby rolling away too fast and taking off running with poo bedazzling your floor, and/or (d) poo on your hand. This manuever was successful enough, but with the corn niblets in the mix you can never quite get it all. Regardless, he did the back/booty swipe, also one handed, and moved the diaper to the side.

At this point, it became obvious that Darrick was no longer able to complete the diaper change one handed. I was holding her hands to keep them from wandering into poo-zone, and he couldn't hold her feet and wipe with one good hand. I asked him "Do you need help with the poop?", and that's when Luca decided to chime in by blowing raspberries, mimicking the 'poopy' sound effect her dad loves to make. Laughing, I grabbed a wipe and chipped in, holding her feet with one hand and wiping with the other, all the while my leg being sprayed by Luca's 'raspberry' blowing. I mention to Darrick she's got corn nibs on her bum, and the raspberries stop and are replaced by, "Bum. Bum. Bum. :::rasapberry::: Bum." That kid cracks me up.

So, cleaning done (we nearly had to call in back-ups for that one), we prepared to put her diaper on, which was when she decided to try to make a run for it. This is where my presence REALLY came in handy, as Darrick still had a poopy wipe in hand, and nearly smeared Lu's leg with it as his reflex kicked in and told him to grab her before she took off. I wrestled her back to the ground and we got the diaper on and let her go. Darrick reached across his body to pick up the dirty diaper, and out rolled....a corn niblet....onto my leg...and then onto the floor.

I lost it. There was nothing else to do, so I laughed. And it wasn't just a giggle, but a full on crying, shaking, silent laugh, with Darrick doing the same, and Luca staring at us like she was not sure WHY she had to have such crazy parents. And then, as though startled with the realization of what just happened, our little Sprinkle-Butt pointed to the corn nug on the floor, yelled out "POOP!" and laughed so hard she tipped right over.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

LMAO! That is hilarious! I'm so sorry Darrick got injured - ouch. I'm happy for him that he got 2 gold medals though! Very exciting!!

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