Just Randomness.

My first appointment with our midwife is this Saturday. First, how awesome is it that she does weekend appointments? Second, even cooler, the appointment is an HOUR long at her in-home office, and the whole family can come. I'm pretty excited for it, but also a little apprehensive. This is a whole new world for me, so I don't know what to expect. I'm certain she'll try to find a heartbeat (not so certain she'll be able to, since I'm a bit...uh...rounder in the belly???...than I was last time) and that she will draw some blood. Other than that, I imagine we will talk about my history, what to expect from the visits, and probably a little about planning for this whole adventure. One cool bonus is that she's participating in a midwifery study on homebirths, so I will be part of that. It involves sharing some of my medical history, keeping a nutrition log, and possibly a few other things. Pretty cool! I think all those things together will make for a very involved and aware pregnancy experience...and hopefully a healthy one too!

So far, I haven't gained any weight (well, I hadN't gained any weight, but that Oreo shake I had tonight might change that one), but I feel like I'm going to be showing sooner. I had quite a bit of bloat early on, and it comes and goes, so some days I feel sure everyone is guessing something is up, and others I'm sure no one is the wiser. With Luca, I didn't get any comments from strangers until I was about 26 weeks along, but I know it won't be that long this time. I have what my former MW (not the one who attended the delivery, but the one I started my care with) refers to as 'Hammock Hips'...simply a euphamism for wide birthin' peasant pelvis and a big ass. I'm ok with it...it meant Luca had more room to hang out deep in my pelvis before I started to show. Everyone tells me I'll show earlier this time around, as most second time moms do, so we shall see!

Anyhow, all this talk about showing is because of one thing I'm still torn over: telling my boss. Last time around, I told her right away, mostly because I was brand new on the job and: a) I didn't want her thinking any puking (never happened) or fatigure (TOTALLY happened) was me being a lush, and b)In case she was a little rusty on her math skills, I didn't want her thinking I started the job knowing I was pregnant and lied to her. This time around, Darrick was really insistent about not saying anything until we heard a heartbeat. As I mentioned above, my first appointment is this weekend, and we may her one then, but there is no guranatee. We are getting the first trimeseter screening done, though, so if nothing else sometime probably that next week we will see the little sprinkle in action and know he/she is ok. My dilemma, though, is how long I can hide the pregnancy from my boss...both physically and emotionally. Physically, who knows when I won't be able to hide it in looser tops or button downs any longer. Also, there are times in my job when I need to do things like lifting heavy boxes (such as today), and I can't go on doing that for too long. Emotionally, I am one of those freaks who actually likes my boss and respects her, and I feel like not telling her is almost deceitful. Luckily, it's been easy to avoid this lately, since she's been out of the office most of the last 3 weeks, so there is no real 'avoiding' needed. But I think next week might be my breaking point. I don't know how people go 12 weeks...much less 16 or 20...without telling people!

All that said, I cannot believe that I am almost through the first trimester already! It seems to be flying by, and with a busy workload, a trip to Mexico, and the holidays all approaching faster than I could have imagined, it's just going to continue to fly by. More updates after my appointment Saturday!