Due Date #2

We went out to breakfast and to the park this morning. I also planned to go get more reflexology, but it didn't work out. Instead, I bought a pineapple and a shaved ice (wild strawberry, add cream). I also took a long nap, which I was awoken from by the sweetest girl on Earth hugging me and playing with my hair. I can deal with that kind of wake-up call.










We might go to a movie tonight, if we can agree on one. And if I'm not in labor (which, by the way, has now officially become the most hated expression in my household).

Did I mention Luca now sings 'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star'? Not the whole thing, of course, but enough to know what song it is, and the parts she doesn't know she mumbles the melody. And then, when she gets to the part she really doesn't know, she stops, starts to clap for herself and says, "YAY LUCA!"

Questions and Answers.

I thought I'd take a few minutes to go over some questions I've received (some fairly common, others sort of unusual) lately. Seems like a good way to kill time (otherwise known as wait impatiently for a baby to arrive).

Question:
How do you keep the water in the birth tub warm?
Answer:
I'm not really sure how this will work in real life, but in my imagination, it's not so hard. I do not plan to fill and get into the birth tub until I am sure I am in active labor (my MW suggests about 5 cm, but does not demand I get checked to prove I am 5 cm first or anything). Our water heater will be turned up so the tub fills very hot. I'll get in and relax.

The water is actually NOT intended to be 'hot' when baby is born in it. It should be close to mom's normal body temperature of 98.6, so ideally by the time baby is born into the water, it will have cooled down to about that temperature. And many moms who've birthed in water say you won't WANT it really hot anyhow, since labor raises your core body temp and too-hot water = too-hot mom. Now, should the water need heating, we can boil some on the stove and add it in, or siphon some out and add more in straight from the tap.

Question:
What do you do with the water when you're done birthing and the pool needs to be emptied?
Answer:
You siphon the water out. You can use a hose to siphon it into the yard, sink, or tub.

Question:
Does the birth pool have stirrups?
Answer:
No. Stirrups are not needed, as mom pushes in whatever position is comfortable for her. Stirrups are only used in labor to get mom in a position that's convenient for the OB or MW attending, and that position can lead to worse tearing or...episiotomies. Which leads ME to....

Question:
What if you need an episiotomy?
Answer:
Episiotomies are very rare, if not non-existent, in home births. I am not even sure if my MW brings the right....tools....to do one. I never asked, as I don't plan on needing one done. She tells me very few of her moms tear at all because they direct the pushing themselves and, in water, the tissues have time to soften enough that there's usually no tearing. What tears she DOES see usually don't even need stitches.

Question:
What about the mess?
Answer:
Most of the 'mess' will be contained in the birth pool. We also have 'drop cloths' of sorts to lay on the floor and bed, and the MW and her apprentice do a cleaning of the house after baby is born, including throwing soiled linens in the wash.

Question:
So about this 'mess' in the pool...isn't it kind of gross and unsanitary to float around with your placenta?
Answer:
I don't plan on bobbing for placenta, if that's what you mean. There will probably be some amniotic fluid and blood (and possible 'debris'...please see fish net post below) in the pool at some point. But the fact is...this is all stuff (ok...maybe not the 'debris') baby is being exposed to in the womb, and is no less safe for baby to be exposed to OUTSIDE the womb. I don't expect it to be a lot, and usually the blood comes after the baby, so it's not like I'll be swimming in it for 10 hours of labor. Also, the placenta is typically delivered outside of the pool, on dry land, so there will be no floating with that either.

Question:
What if baby needs oxygen or CPR? What if mom needs oxygen or bleeds too much? Can the MW handle this?
Answer:
We bought this jar of stuff called Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic. You just open the lid, and out comes a magical fairy to sprinkle Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic around the room, and all is better. And the bonus is, labor doesn't hurt and AIDS is cured and there is world peace.

Ok, but seriously, people. I do appreciate the concern and curiosity, but we didn't get out MW out of the back of the New Times. We didn't pick her just because she has horses and Luca likes going to see them (though she does, and Luca does). We interviewed 3 potential MWs and asked a ton of questions. Naturally we asked about emergency medical situations and how they are handled. My MW carries oxygen for both baby and mom (maybe even for panicked dads?). She knows First Aid and CPR. She brings pitocin to births in case mom bleeds too much or needs help getting her uterus to clamp down and expel the placenta after baby is born. She is a qualified professional with a LOT of training and experience, and a part of that includes knowing when she needs to call for help. We live less than a mile from the hospital where Luca was born, and an ambulance could be to us in about 2 minutes if need be. About the only thing my MW cannot do that the OBs at the hospital CAN is perform a c-section or give me drugs for the pain.

Question:
What about all the normal things the hospital does? Eye ointment, shots, health checks, etc. Can your MW do those?
Answer:
I've sort of touched on this a few times before, but the answer is yes, if we wish. The big difference here between a home and a hospital birth is that we as the parents can decide what things to have done and what to decline, with full knowledge of the pros and cons, no on-the-spot pressure, and no judgment on our decisions. So, we won't get the eye ointment, we will get the Vitamin K injection and the newborn screening (required by the state anyhow), baby will be weighed and measured....and all this will be done (I hope!) while I lounge in a robe at home in bed.

Question:
Will Luca be there for the birth?
Answer:
It depends. If I go into labor while she's sleeping at night, we'll leave her in bed. If she's awake or wakes up, we'll play it by ear. It's really dependent upon whether I am comfortable with her there, whether H can help me while keeping an eye on her, and what her reaction is to the whole thing. We don't want to exclude her, but we also don't want to scare her, so if we think she'd be better off playing with one of her Grandmas or uncles or a friend, we've got backups on call.

Question:
Who 'catches' the baby?
Answer:
We plan to play it by ear. My MW is more than happy to step back and let Darrick or me do it if all is going well with the birth. I can't predict who will actually end up doing it.

Question:
Who will announce Andre's sex?
Answer:
My MW has told us she doesn't even look unless we ask her to. I'm hoping Darrick will announce it, but this is another thing we can't actually predict for sure in advance.


That's it for now! If you have other questions you want to see answered, feel free to comment here.

Due Date #1 is here (and almost gone)

Today was my original due date, according to my calculations. Of course, my MW has me as due on the 15th, so I'm looking at this as more of a Due Weekend. Which is good, since today has almost passed already and so far no sign of baby. I feel more uncomfortable. I feel more twinges and pains and braxton hicks contractions. But there is nothing leading me to believe baby is going to make it here in the next hour.

It's bizarre to go through a whole day knowing you're supposed to be having a baby. Several people asked me today when I am due, and I said, "Today...tomorrow...soon!" I don't quite know how to answer. I'm afraid if I start thinking of TODAY as my DUE DATE, I'll wake up super bummed to be OVERDUE tomorrow, if that makes any sense.

Today is my Mom's birthday, which is one reason I am sad Andre didn't choose to arrive, Friday the 13th be damned. We took her out to dinner, and then I caved and we walked over to Target to buy some chocolate ice cream, for the "Chocolate Ice Cream Induction". Two bowls and two hours later and...still nothing to speak of. So we continue to wait.

39 Week, 3 Day Appointment.

We went and saw our MW this morning, rather than waiting for this weekend. I really have nothing to report. I'm still pregnant, baby is still head down, and all is still well. We didn't make a 'next' appointment this time. According to her chart, I am due on Sunday, so if I'm still pregnant come Monday, I'll call her and we'll go in for another visit. We were laughing over an 'induction' technique she suggested. It's called the Chocolate Ice Cream Induction, and involves eating as much chocolate ice cream as you can in one sitting. I asked how it works and she said like castor oil it's likely to cause...how should I say it?...lots of toilet time, which can sometimes start contractions. I decided to skip it in favor of NOT living on the toilet WHILE being in labor.

Tonight is a full moon, so....maybe?

Shamrock Shake-Up

Mc Donald's has few menu items I care for. I used to love their breakfast bagels, but they discontinued them. Their fries are delish (cow fat be damned!), as is their ice cream. And I can eat their breakfast, though sometimes it leaves me feeling like I have gut rot.

BUT...the Shamrock Shake. AH the Shamrock Shake. I LOVE this shake like no other. And they only make it around St. Patrick's Day, so as soon as I heard someone mention them a few weeks ago, I had a craving for one.



I put aside my craving for a week, and then one day I decided to hit our local McD's and order one. Sadly, I was informed they 'didn't have them yet'. This was about a week and a half ago.

This past Sunday, after dinner, I made Darrick go through the SAME drive thru to order me one. And this time we were told, "We don't have them anymore." Um....ok....what the crap?!?! 10 days ago you didn't have them YET, and now you don't have them ANYMORE?

Not one to be easily discouraged, I decided I'd try again at another McD's on another day. There's a McD's by the freeway on my way home, so I decided today was that day. I pull up to the order box and ask if they have Shamrock Shakes. "Yes, we do," (ELATION!)., "But the machine is currently broken. Sorry."

Fine. Fine. The universe is CLEARLY trying to tell me something (perhaps, "Isn't your ass fat enough, you pigbitch?"), so I need to give up on this quest, right?

Wrong.

We had dinner with my mom tonight, and after dinner she asked if we wanted to stop by the McDonald's in the parking lot for ice cream. Well who am I to say no to a twist of fate like this?

So into McD's we go. I saunter up (ok, waddle...) and ask, "Do you have Shamrock Shakes?". The evil woman behind the counter mumbles "No." almost incoherently.

"I'm sorry...you do not?"

"No. They are a special item, so we only have them for 2-3 weeks every year."

Now, riddle me this. St. P's Day is NEXT WEEK. Precisely WHICH weeks of the year do you carry them, McDonald's??? Two weeks in February? Perhaps 3 weeks in June?

They are SHAMROCK SHAKES. If you cannot supply me with one in the week prior to St. Paddy's Day, you SUCK AT LIFE.

(If you came to the blog to see if I'm still pregnant, I think the answer is pretty obvious, huh?)

One Fun Thing About the End of Pregnancy...

...is going out in public and hearing the comments people make. For those women who hate talking to strangers about their pregnancy, I can see this being annoying. I, on the other hand, find it kind of amusing.

We went to the zoo today, as has been our weekend routine for the past few months now. It's beautiful outside, Luca LOVES it, and it's a good excuse to get out and walking. We see some of the same zoo staff and volunteers there, and today one of them (who works in the Common Squirrel Monkey exhibit...a definite highlight to the Phoenix Zoo!) asked when I was due. I told her "This week." and she was like, "DAMN! Good for you! I was in NO MOOD to walk anywhere when I was that pregnant!". This, from the zoo chick who looks as though she has no problem hiking up and down Camelback after an invigorating sunrise yoga session.

Another favorite was the grandparents who were with their granddaughter (maybe 5) and grandson (maybe 2). They asked how old Luca was, and after answering, Darrick pointed to my belly (in one of those circular waving motions) and said, "And another coming soon." She asked when, and I responded, "Any day now!" She was like, "You're a good mama, out here walking that baby out. Looks like it'll be here soon with how low it is." The irony here is that, 4 weeks ago, had this woman commented on the size or position of my belly I probably would have wanted to cry. But at 39 weeks pregnant, you wear a badge that says, "I made it this far, I couldn't possibly get bigger, my body is an amazing machine, and I'm growing a life. Nothing you could say can fuck with me now."

Last, there was the super-fit woman in the kids' play area who asked when I was due. I told her "And day now!" (fingers crossed) and she looked shocked. She responded with something about how I don't look big enough to be due any day now, and even though I know she's a filthy liar, I chose to believe it and responded, "And I LOVE you!".

It's funny....just a few weeks ago I was telling a pregnant friend that I don't mind being pregnant. I can even appreciate the beauty of the changes a woman's body goes through to create and sustain life. And even though I've loathed some of the changes and I've felt unattractive and uncomfortable in the past weeks, I feel so lucky to be able to do this: to decide I want a child with my husband, to make it happen, to carry that baby to term, and to bring it into the world. It's not this easy for everyone, and I am truly one of the lucky ones. But there have been times lately where I think the last 3 months of pregnancy would be more bearable if women could be sequestered away from public view (and scrutiny) and have handmaidens bring them food and drink. I was starting to lose my mind with the comments on my size (I know they MEAN my belly, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a woman who hears "You are HUGE!" and doesn't internalize it to think everyone sees her butt through the same eyes she does).

But now...this far into the game? I am ready to get out and show my giant 'Orb of Life' to the world. I'm happy to tell people I am due any day and see their jaw drop. I feel a kinship with other women who are going through or have been through this...even the super-fit women who will be back in their pre-pregnancy clothes while I am still wallowing in sweats post-baby. I don't dread the stares and the comments, because I know I can say a few words ("I'm due this week.") and their reactions, their demeanors will change. And I know that someday soon, MOST of my 'Orb' will be gone...though the same can't be said for a man who shall remain unnamed who recently asked me if I'm having twins.