Shamrock Shake-Up

Mc Donald's has few menu items I care for. I used to love their breakfast bagels, but they discontinued them. Their fries are delish (cow fat be damned!), as is their ice cream. And I can eat their breakfast, though sometimes it leaves me feeling like I have gut rot.

BUT...the Shamrock Shake. AH the Shamrock Shake. I LOVE this shake like no other. And they only make it around St. Patrick's Day, so as soon as I heard someone mention them a few weeks ago, I had a craving for one.



I put aside my craving for a week, and then one day I decided to hit our local McD's and order one. Sadly, I was informed they 'didn't have them yet'. This was about a week and a half ago.

This past Sunday, after dinner, I made Darrick go through the SAME drive thru to order me one. And this time we were told, "We don't have them anymore." Um....ok....what the crap?!?! 10 days ago you didn't have them YET, and now you don't have them ANYMORE?

Not one to be easily discouraged, I decided I'd try again at another McD's on another day. There's a McD's by the freeway on my way home, so I decided today was that day. I pull up to the order box and ask if they have Shamrock Shakes. "Yes, we do," (ELATION!)., "But the machine is currently broken. Sorry."

Fine. Fine. The universe is CLEARLY trying to tell me something (perhaps, "Isn't your ass fat enough, you pigbitch?"), so I need to give up on this quest, right?

Wrong.

We had dinner with my mom tonight, and after dinner she asked if we wanted to stop by the McDonald's in the parking lot for ice cream. Well who am I to say no to a twist of fate like this?

So into McD's we go. I saunter up (ok, waddle...) and ask, "Do you have Shamrock Shakes?". The evil woman behind the counter mumbles "No." almost incoherently.

"I'm sorry...you do not?"

"No. They are a special item, so we only have them for 2-3 weeks every year."

Now, riddle me this. St. P's Day is NEXT WEEK. Precisely WHICH weeks of the year do you carry them, McDonald's??? Two weeks in February? Perhaps 3 weeks in June?

They are SHAMROCK SHAKES. If you cannot supply me with one in the week prior to St. Paddy's Day, you SUCK AT LIFE.

(If you came to the blog to see if I'm still pregnant, I think the answer is pretty obvious, huh?)

One Fun Thing About the End of Pregnancy...

...is going out in public and hearing the comments people make. For those women who hate talking to strangers about their pregnancy, I can see this being annoying. I, on the other hand, find it kind of amusing.

We went to the zoo today, as has been our weekend routine for the past few months now. It's beautiful outside, Luca LOVES it, and it's a good excuse to get out and walking. We see some of the same zoo staff and volunteers there, and today one of them (who works in the Common Squirrel Monkey exhibit...a definite highlight to the Phoenix Zoo!) asked when I was due. I told her "This week." and she was like, "DAMN! Good for you! I was in NO MOOD to walk anywhere when I was that pregnant!". This, from the zoo chick who looks as though she has no problem hiking up and down Camelback after an invigorating sunrise yoga session.

Another favorite was the grandparents who were with their granddaughter (maybe 5) and grandson (maybe 2). They asked how old Luca was, and after answering, Darrick pointed to my belly (in one of those circular waving motions) and said, "And another coming soon." She asked when, and I responded, "Any day now!" She was like, "You're a good mama, out here walking that baby out. Looks like it'll be here soon with how low it is." The irony here is that, 4 weeks ago, had this woman commented on the size or position of my belly I probably would have wanted to cry. But at 39 weeks pregnant, you wear a badge that says, "I made it this far, I couldn't possibly get bigger, my body is an amazing machine, and I'm growing a life. Nothing you could say can fuck with me now."

Last, there was the super-fit woman in the kids' play area who asked when I was due. I told her "And day now!" (fingers crossed) and she looked shocked. She responded with something about how I don't look big enough to be due any day now, and even though I know she's a filthy liar, I chose to believe it and responded, "And I LOVE you!".

It's funny....just a few weeks ago I was telling a pregnant friend that I don't mind being pregnant. I can even appreciate the beauty of the changes a woman's body goes through to create and sustain life. And even though I've loathed some of the changes and I've felt unattractive and uncomfortable in the past weeks, I feel so lucky to be able to do this: to decide I want a child with my husband, to make it happen, to carry that baby to term, and to bring it into the world. It's not this easy for everyone, and I am truly one of the lucky ones. But there have been times lately where I think the last 3 months of pregnancy would be more bearable if women could be sequestered away from public view (and scrutiny) and have handmaidens bring them food and drink. I was starting to lose my mind with the comments on my size (I know they MEAN my belly, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a woman who hears "You are HUGE!" and doesn't internalize it to think everyone sees her butt through the same eyes she does).

But now...this far into the game? I am ready to get out and show my giant 'Orb of Life' to the world. I'm happy to tell people I am due any day and see their jaw drop. I feel a kinship with other women who are going through or have been through this...even the super-fit women who will be back in their pre-pregnancy clothes while I am still wallowing in sweats post-baby. I don't dread the stares and the comments, because I know I can say a few words ("I'm due this week.") and their reactions, their demeanors will change. And I know that someday soon, MOST of my 'Orb' will be gone...though the same can't be said for a man who shall remain unnamed who recently asked me if I'm having twins.

Pineapple.

When I was pregnant with Luca, this was my #1 craving. This time around, it just gives me heartburn...or indigestion...I can never tell the difference.

I just ate half a fresh one. This, in spite of the burning ring of pain enveloping my chest and flaming up into my throat at this very moment. Because it's rumored to start contractions. And they are welcome to start whenever they are ready.

Waiting....waiting...

39 Weeks.

No sign of baby. There's your update.

I'm going to be spending today and tomorrow drinking my tea, bouncing on my yoga ball, and walking. Oh...and thinking good thoughts. We ALL need the good thoughts, right?

I did decide this morning that perhaps Andre wasn't coming because he/she is sick of being called by a nickname and wanted mom and dad to sit down and finally decide on a REAL name. So this morning we sat down to blueberry pancakes and I told Darrick, "I am not leaving this table until we have a name." We each had a piece of colored construction paper and a few crayons (no, this is not art therapy...this is what adults use to make lists on when a toddler is in the house), as well as a baby name book. We wrote down our favorites, compared lists, crossed off things we hated that the other person liked, and whittled it down to 5 girl names and 5 boys names. We'll make a final decision when Andre gets here, but I'm just happy we got this far!

Luca, by the way, really wanted to help. Here was her contribution:



Andre....we are ready when YOU are!!!

Are We There Yet?

Another Midwife appointment, and YES I am stillllllll pregnant. I expected my appointment this morning to be rather uneventful since I am so close to the end. But I was wrong!

First off, all the 'usual' stuff was fine. My blood pressure was great, no real swelling, measuring a week ahead still, etc. But then we got to the part of the exam where my MW and her apprentice palpate my belly from the outside to see if they can determine baby's position. This is important for a lot of reasons, but primarily because it's illegal in AZ for a MW to deliver a breech baby at home. Well, when listening for baby's heartbeat, it was stronger on my left side, but its position was consistent with a transverse baby, which would be almost impossible to deliver at home, since almost all transvese babies end up in c-sections. Add that to the fact that my MW's apprentice couldn't tell for sure where baby's head was, and my MW started to be a little concerned. She came over to palpate my belly, and said she thought baby was head down, but typically baby's head can be moved some at this point, and she wasn't able to move it much at all. All this together led her to wonder if baby could be frank breech, meaning I'd feel kicks up high because both baby's feet AND head are up top, and the bum is at the bottom. Here's a picture of what a frank breech baby looks like:



Now, most texts consider this kind of breech to be the most favorable for avoiding a c-section, but most texts don't practice obstetrics in Arizona. According to my MW, there are few OBs who are willing to 'allow' a vaginal delivery of a breech baby, no matter its position. And, as I stated above, homebirth MWs are not allowed by law to deliver a known breech.

So, with all this in mind, I had some decisions to make. There are really only 2 ways to know if a baby is breech. The most obvious is via ultrasound, but the other way is to have an internal exam to see if she can feel whether it's a head or a bum presenting.

I was avoiding internals, as I think I've mentioned before, primarly because they don't really tell you anything useful, and I was afraid having one would lead to frustration. But in this case, I really felt like it was the least invasive way to get some answers. When I asked what would happen if baby IS breech at this point in pregnancy, I was given 3 basic options:

1. I'd transfer care immediately to an OB and schedule a c-section.
2. I could attempt an external version, which could work, but may not.
3. I could opt not to find out, in which case I could attempt to deliver at home, but if baby presented as breech my MW would be breaking all sorts of rules to attend to me.

Thankfully, baby 'Andre' IS head-down, and I am 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. The dilation and effacement mean little to nothing, really, except that it's more than I had at this point in pregnancy with Luca, and she was born right on time. But being head-down is EXCELLENT news!

I go back on Wednesday for a check-up, presuming we have not yet been graced with baby's presence.

In related news, I had reflexology done today as well. Reflexology is rumored to help encourage contractions and kickstart labor if the body is ready, and I found a place running a special which was $30 for 60 minutes. Let me tell you....best $30 I've spent in a loooooong time! I was a little uncertain at first because it was a man doing the reflexology, but you stay fully clothed and sit in a reclining chair, so I got over that pretty quickly. He started with my head, scalp, neck, and shoulders, then moved onto my arms and hands. Oh lord do I love an arm and hand massage. PURE heaven.

After that, he moved to my feet and calves. It was relaxing...SO much so that I drifted in and out of a light sleep at a few points, which I am never able to do during a massage.

So far, no contractions have come out of it, but if nothing else I sure am relaxed.

Dailies.

The things that are now a part of my daily life, thanks to pregnancy:

Tums (smoothies are the BEST invention ever!):



Evening Primrose Oil (morning, lunch, bedtime):



Raspberry Leaf Tea (you're 'supposed' to drink this 3 times a day, but I plan to do two bags at night):



Prenatals:



Honey Nut Cheerios (which replaced the less healthy addiction I had to Lucky Charms, thank goodness!):



Yoga Pants:



Baby Carrots (beta carotene, people!):




And the things that are part of my daily life, courtesy of the whirlwind we call Luca:

"Yegos!":



"Cuhyahs!":



"Pretties" (barette):



"Turn on monkeys" (It's a Big, Big World!):



"OH! Elmo!":



"More Raisins!" (It's always 'more' raisins, even if she hasn't had any yet that day):