Next Up.

See that running ticker over there? The one that says I'm supposed to run 350 miles this year? ---->

That's a big part of the reason why today, just 2 days after my first 5k, I signed up for this bad boy:

http://www.pattillmanfoundation.org/pats-run/

Or, I guess, good boy? Either way, it's 4.2 miles in the end of April, which hypothetically is totally doable seeing as how I'm up to about 3 miles on my evening runs.

I'll be following this training schedule, loosely. I know, I know, it's a bridge to 10k and the run in April is only 4.2 miles. But I figure I might as well be SURE I am prepared.

Wish me luck?

We Did It!

Color Run is DONE!

We weren't able to run the whole thing, but that was more logistics than a lack of trying. The race was sold out, with 6,000 people packing the trail. We had to walk through the color zones where you get colorfied, which meant 3 stops (we ran around the outside of the 1st of 4 zones), but still...WE DID IT!!!!

I couldn't have done it without this group - co workers and amazing friends who trained with me, slowed to my pace when I needed it, and made sure I got plenty of birthday wishes on the run courtesy of the decorating they did to their shirts in my honor:

Team ROYGBIV, lovingly named after my neurotic desire to color coordinate my closet.

And I couldn't have done it without my amazing friend Elizabeth, who inspired and encouraged me through training and met me on race day to cheer me on. LOVE her!

It's Official.

I'm a graduate of Couch to 5K!

The Color Run is this Saturday, which also happens to be my birthday. I'm more than a little nervous and super excited just to do it. And I cannot believe I finished C25K!

Week 9

Tonight marks the start of C25K, Week 9. Also known as the last week. Or, alternately, "Holy crap in less than 2 weeks I need to be able to run 3.1 miles!"

It took some talking-to-myself to get out there tonight and brave a 30 minute run. I know it's only 2 more minutes than I ran all last week, but it seemed big. Monumental. Scary.

At 6 minutes into it, I was feeling good. "Ok, you did that. Now just do it 4 more times." I told myself.

At 12 minutes into it, I was still feeling pretty good. "My legs are burning, but I can do it. 3 more times."

At 18 minutes into it, I was starting to unravel a bit. "Ok, Katie, keep going. It does not matter if you're slow as long as you finish. But why is your butt jiggling so much? Do you feel that?" :::feels with hand and butt is indeed jiggling::: "What the hell? You've been running for 8 weeks and your butt just NOW starts jiggling like that? That's it! No more snacks for you! It's time to buckle down and stick to salads!"

At 24 minutes into it, I just tapped out, mentally. I went to that dark place no one wants to talk about, where the only thing going through my mind was numbers as I counted my foot falls and tried to predict how close I was to done.

At 29 minutes, when the podcast I used this week (which, by the by, I definitely recommend in terms of better music for running, and which came from here) notified me I only had 1 minute left, I was resolved and determined to finish it running. "You can do this. So what if your butt is jiggling and your time probably really super sucks. Just. Finish."

At 30 minutes, when I stopped running and started my cool down walk, I took back all the promises of salad and daily whippings to myself if I ate bad foods and felt nothing but sheer relief and accomplishment.

If I can do 30 minutes, I believe it's really possible I can finish this 5k running.

And to top it off? I logged my run when I got home, and I've finally, after 9 weeks, broken my own personal goal for speed. It's a pretty pathetic goal, really, but I truly don't give a shit. My goal was to get under a 12-minute mile, and tonight I finally did!

Success In All Measures.

I thought I'd start running and hate it. I thought I'd keep running and learn to deal with it, even if I still didn't like it. I thought I'd keep going a few more weeks and run a 5k and smile and feel proud. And I thought, somewhere in the middle of it, that I'd be melting away pounds like nobody's business.
Well, technically it IS nobody's business, but that has not happened. I did start running and hate it, then keep running and learn to deal with it. I kept going, and in just over 2 weeks I'll be running a 5k ON my birthday, which is all kinds of amazing and pride-inspiring. And yet, 8 weeks into this new goal of mine, I'm down half a pound. HALF a pound is not exactly melting away, you know?

Shit, at this rate it will only take me 508 more weeks to hit my goal weight.

So there you have it. And this morning when I stepped on the scale and saw that I'm barely floating half a pound below my start weight and I'm running 3 days a week, I went into self-sabotage mode in my mind. For breakfast I was good, but by lunchtime I was tempted to scrap my healthy low-point lunch and run out for something delicious and indulgent. I wanted cookies and chocolate bars. I contemplated wine with dinner and an ice cream cone after.

But I didn't do it. I stuck to my planned breakfast and lunch and opted for a salad with dressing on the side for dinner. I even skipped dessert and went for a run.

And I guess it paid off, because while I was logging my run tonight I discovered I HAVE made progress. I log my miles and minutes, so an easy math calculation can tell me how fast I'm running, and it has been pretty underwhelming so far. I mean, I knew I was slow, but I didn't know I was running around a 14 minute mile until I found the map my run site. But tonight I did something different: I ran on main roads. Usually I run in my neighborhood, up and down residential streets. I prefer it that way because I almost never see anyone while on my run, so I don't feel self-concious about my speed or how I look while running. Tonight, though, I did about 80% of my run on main streets around my neighborhood. It not only made me keep going a bit faster than usual, it also felt a little safer to me.

And the results are real: my running time was just over a 12 minute mile today. That means that while I've barely shed half a pound in 8 weeks, I have managed to increase my run time by about 2 minutes per mile in just over 2 weeks. At this rate, I might just finish that 5k in under 40 minutes!

And, yes, I promise I will be happy with that!

Updates in January.

I just completed Week 7 of C25K, and it was really, really hard. All 3 runs were 25 minutes, and according to the podcast I use, that's supposed to equal a 2.5 mile run. Can I just take a minute here to point out how insane it is to think that I'm supposed to go from 'couch' to 10-minute miles in just over 6 weeks? I came home after each of this week's runs and mapped them, and I'm not quite clocking 2 miles in 25 minutes. I'd be embarassed to admit that it takes me more than 12 minutes to run a single mile except for the fact that I've never in my LIFE run for 25 minutes straight, so while I'm a little disappointed in my distance, I'm really trying to focus on the positives.

Week 8 will kick off for me tomorrow, upping the runs from 25 to 28 minutes. So far this year I ran 5.26 miles (and I added a ticker right up top on my blog, over there --->, to keep me accountable), and on top of it? I may not be seeing the numbers on the scale changing yet, but I am feeling a difference in my body. I definitely feel the burn in my legs while running, and can feel my muscles tightening up. The other night, after my first 25 minute run, I even made Darrick feel my calves to see how strong they are getting. Nerd.

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In bathroom news, our insurance adjuster is going to come out this afternoon to inspect the damage and let us know whether any of it's covered under insurance. I'm not optimistic. Honestly, they've already tried twice to have us pay for someone to come out to set up fans in the garage and 'remove moisture and humidity from the walls'. Um, great...except we're talking about just enough water to bathe two little kids (half full tub?) that leaked on a day that was 80 degrees with almost NO humidity. I'm thinking it's not likely worth several hundred to several thousand to pay someone to do that.

In the meantime, while we waited for the insurance people to come out, we started chipping out tile. Darrick figured out a new way of removing it without the pieces breaking so small, which definitely helps minimize dust and other messes. As of the other night, when these pictures were taken, he'd only chipped up a small section of the floor. However, in preparation for the adjuster's visit today, he chipped out the whole area in front of the tub. Under it is a tile subflooring we also need to remove, then the tub will be ready to pull out of its place!

These pictures are crappy and the colors are funny, but you can see the work he did in here in them.

***Update*** I took a few pictures to show what he did in here last night.

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In other news, Rohan has discovered his Mastocytosis spot. The other day, I witnessed him telling Luca he had a 'big ouchie' and pointing to his arm. She took it in stride (we've prepped her for this, explaining it to her in kid-terms from very early on so it would be a normal thing when it came up), telling him it wasn't an ouchie, it was just a spot that turns pink and puffy if he eats kiwi. I laugh because she must have heard us tell people this many times, that kiwi is the only food we know of so far that he has bad reactions to, and she picked it up and fed it right back to him. I did ask him if it was hurting, and he said no, so I think he was reacting to it looking like an ouchie more than it feeling ouchie. His spot is always a bit red and is about the size of a quarter, so I knew it would be a matter of time before he caught sight of it and asked about it.

He has since pointed it out to me a few times, and I just say "Oh yep, that's your little spot. It's ok right now though, so let's just leave it alone." With Masto, if he messes with the spot itself it could possibly trigger a histamine reaction that would cause him some irritation, so we're opting to just encourage him to leave it alone to hopefully avoid that. He still remains largely unaffected by his Masto, rarely having reactions like some kids with Masto do have, so I'm optimistic we can just approach this in a way that normalizes and minimizes it for him.

2 Miles.

Today I broke with tradition and did a daytime run. It's about 70 degrees outside, and sunny as hell, and I felt every degree of that 70 and every drop of sunshine.

Week 6 is complete, and my 25 minute run took me 2 miles. Not exactly speedy, for sure (it was probably a 13 minute mile, since I walked for 5 minutes before I started to run. And 'run' is not exactly accurate, given that pace.

But you know what? I did it. I ran for 25 minutes without stopping. And I logged it on my new favorite website when I got home (mapmyrun.com) so I could see how far I went. And I am damn proud of myself.

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I've been struggling for a few months now with trying to follow WW and still live my life. Some days I completely forget to track food. Honestly, having to go on to the WW website and log in meals drives me kind of nuts. It takes longer than I want it to, and I get bored and frustrated.

I'm hoping I found the solution this morning. First, I bought a monthly/weekly planner at Target. I need one anyhow, to keep on top of work meetings and deadlines and appointments. But this planner is also going to be a tool I use to track one of my 2012 goals, running 350 miles. But the planner doesn't have enough space to keep a food journal, so I also got a small 'PlanHer' at Target. It's essentially a small notebook with two columns and a header space up top. I'm using it as a food journal, and also a place where I can write down my runs before I log them officially into my planner for the year. Again, I'm nothing if not an optimist, so here's hoping these tools will help me keep on top of my goals this year.

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Did I mention I ran 2 miles today???????

Optimism is a Gift.

Optimism is a gift, right? Hope springs eternal and there's a silver lining to every dark cloud and all that, yes?

Which explains why I'm facing 2012 and putting some resolutions and goals out there. In writing. Again. Even though 2011 laughed in the face of my attempts to make resolutions. If I'm being fair, we did start eating healthier foods and cooking more at home, and we rarely went out and spent money on new things, but I wouldn't say I achieved any of the 3 goals I had fully.

But that's not going to stop me from putting myself out there for the next year. I think a new year is a great time to refocus some energy on the things that are important and to remind myself that it's never too late to start over. So without any further ado, here are my goals for 2012:

1. Run my first 5k on my 33rd birthday.

2. Use the savings we're going to have from not having to pay for Rohan to be in daycare (he stays with my mom full time now since our provider moved 2 hours away) to build up our savings and pay down the last of the 2 credit cards we own.

3. Keep running. Or jogging, but whatever. In 2012, I'm making a small running goal I hope I can accomplish. My goal is to log 350 miles of running. It's not a high number of miles, but it's 350 more than I have ever done in any year prior.

4. Spend more time caring for myself. My health. My appearance. Making an effort to dress in clothes that flatter and do my hair so I feel pretty.

5. Spend more one-on-one time with each of my kids. We spend as much time as possible together when we ARE together, but I don't always get much quality time with just one of them. At least once a month, I want to try to do something special with each of them, alone.

6. Spend more one-on-one time with my husband. This past year really screwed us financially. It started with getting a notice from the IRS that we didn't pay a tax on something back in 2009, and now had 30 days to pay it. And then there was the minivan repair that set us back over $1k. Two new tires for each car. Dental surgery. The list goes on and on. What does this have to do with spending time with my husband? Well, when you can't afford a date night, it has everything to do with it. But we both know we need to make a priority out of spending time together without the kids, so in 2012 that's my plan. More date nights. And date afternoons. Maybe even a night or two away without the kids.

So, 2011, see you later, asshole. I'm over you and your shitty luck, natural disasters, financial ruins, and more. I'm ready to welcome 2012.

Week 6.

Week 6 started tonight on the C25K program, and I kicked it off with new running shoes and new ear buds. Not a shabby way to train, really. This week is 3 different routines like last week was, starting with tonight: warm up, 5 minute run/3 minute walk, 8 minute run/3 minute walk, 5 minute run, cool down. Day 2 will be two 10 minute runs with a 5 minute walk between, and Day 3 will be a 25 minute run. Tonight actually wasn't too difficult, which I'm taking as a good sign. I have about 5 weeks before my first 5k, and with just 3 weeks of training left I'm feeling confident I am actually going to be able to do this.

Seriously, 6 weeks ago I was barely running 60 seconds without feeling like I wanted to lay down and cry. And now I'm doing 5-8 minutes without thinking twice. I really cannot get over that.

The next month I'm going to be focused on completing the training and then maintaining the runs so I can get up to 3.2 miles before race day. My focus is also going to be shifting back to how I eat. I've given myself permission to eat whatever I want the past few months, and I know from experience that I won't lose any weight doing that. Even  with running 3 nights a week, the weight isn't melting away like I want it to. This is nothing new to me. My husband is forever trying to convince me that I can eat whatever I want if I just work out regulrarly, and I'll lose the weight. But he's wrong. I've tried that before, and for me it won't work. I know I need to get back on track with eating better along with the exercise. And not just so I can lose weight; so I can feel better and run better and be a healthier woman and wife and mom as well.

I Did It.

Tonight, I finished Week 5 of C25K with a 20 minute run. No breaks to walk. No slowing. No giving up or giving in to the voice telling me that my calves were burning and my lungs were tired and anyways no one would know if I really ran all 20 minutes, would they? I won't lie about it, to myself or anyone else who cares: it sucked. This week's podcast has all 3 days overlapped, so that you download one podcast for 3 completely different runs. At one point, I was almost to the end and all I could think was, "You are so close. Just keep running." And then, on the haedphones came that damn voice saying, "If you're on Day 3, keep going! You have about 4 minutes left." At that moment I was thankful I'd decided to finish the last of the runs at 10:30 at night rather than waiting for tomorrow to do it in the daylight. Because, in the daylight, I would have needed to look around to be sure there were no small children in earshot before exclaiming out loud, to the universe, "Fuck you!"

Oh yeah, I said "Fuck you!" to the podcast. To my legs, on fire and lead-heavy. To Robert Ullrey and running and the universe in general.

But then, there was the moment at the end, when I got to celebrate completing 20 minutes of running. When I walked the neighborhood listening to Mumford and Sons and felt my legs tingling and my heart pumping and my face, flush with sweat. When I said to myself, "Fuck YOU, and your doubting. You did it. YOU did it!"

Five weeks ago, I couldn't even run 90 seconds without feeling like I needed to go home and ice my shins and sleep for 14 hours. Five weeks ago I dreaded every run. Six weeks ago, I wasn't even trying. And now? I did it.

Week 5.

Tonight I started C25K week 5, and as much as it pains me to write this, it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. And maybe...just maybe...I was hoping it would be bad enough to justify quitting? I'm not claiming it was easy by any stretch, but I walked out the door this evening expecting to want to quit, and that never happened.

My week 5 day 1 routine was a 5 minute warm up then 5 running/3 walking/5 running/3 walking/5 running, then a cool down. And while I ran two 5 minute stretches all 3 days last week, doing it 3 times tonight was quite a workout. But I did it, and I didn't struggle nearly as much with it this week as I did last week. I think I actually find the routines with less intervals but longer ones to be a bit easier to manage. Just like with walking, I get into a groove and am not anxiously counting down to when I get to stop or when I have to start again.

This week is unique in that each of the 3 run routines is different. Day 2 will be 8 minutes running and 5 minutes walking, twice. And day 3 is the scary monster at the end of the road with a 20 minute run with no breaks. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dreading those days, especially the last one. But at the same time I look at where I started, barely able to run more than 60 seconds straight without feeling totally winded and really sore, and I feel amazing and strong.

My coworker and I have talked quite a bit about the struggle to keep going, and the battling voices in our heads while training. The voice that says, "You are a fucking idiot and should just walk home right now, pour yourself some wine, and not get out of bed for the rest of the weekend." is just barely drowned out by the voice that says, "Bitch you are DOING this and you're amazing and you keep those feet RUNNING!" When it comes to motivation, I'm only mildly embarassed to admit that when I'm struggling to finish a run I've said to myself more than once, "You had a baby. In a plastic pool in your living room. If you can go through labor and deliver a human, you can do anything." And then, other times, I zone out on problems or issues I need to work out in my own head and have practice conversations with 'the enemy'. The only problem is that I'm not sure either of these tactics is going to work for 3.2 miles!

I should also note that I haven't weighed myself in 2 weeks. After 3 weeks of running I hadn't lost anything, so I sort of gave up on the scale. I'm giving myself permission to avoid the scale and focus on the non-scale victories until I hit the end of my training program. I'm about halfway through, and as long as I can maintain my routine through the holidays, I'm going to consider it a victory whether I lose weight or not.

But I can't lie: It would be nice if I stepped on the scale at the end of this and saw a loss.

Week 4 Begins.

Week 3 finished a little belated thanks to travel and difficult schedules for my husband and me, but by the last run it was definitely feeling manageable. I was even feeling optimistic going into week 4.

And then I did the first run, tonight. It consists of a 5 minute walk to warm up followed by 2 circuits of a 3 minute run/90 second walk then 5 minute run/2.5 minute walk. And it was really, really difficult. I'm not sure if it was the jump from 3 minutes being the long run to 3 minutes being the short one, the shorter recovery walks, or the move from about 9 minutes of running total to 16 minutes. Whatever it was, though, I was definitely dragging and feeling the pain.

The good news is this: I completed the whole thing tonight. The 3 minute runs honestly came pretty easily and I didn't even feel apprehensive about them like I was feeling last week. I might even call them easy. And while in the past I've found the cardio aspect to be the biggest challenge on the runs, this time my cardio felt great. However, my legs were like lead by the end of the first 5 minutes and by the end of the second 5 minute run I was dragging big time.

I'm finding myself alternating between being really proud about my ability to complete each night of training and the dread of what the coming weeks of training will bring. At this point, I can't even imagine running for more than 30 minutes to complete the 5k in January, but on the other hand I couldn't imagine running for 5 straight minutes a month ago either.

I'm not going to give up. I am so happy I have a goal in mind, and thankful to have people in my life who support me and even a few who are putting up with my crazy goal and training right along with me. I just can't wait for this to get easier.

Three.

I started week 3 of C25k tonight. This week is a 5 minute walk, 90 seconds each of walking and running, 3 minutes each of walking and running, repeat both intervals, then cool down. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the 90-second  runs were not hard at all. Last week I struggled quite a bit with those runs and with pain in my shins and calves after they were done. I expected tonight to be much worse since the 90-second runs were now the short ones, not the long ones. But it really was not as difficult as I'd feared. The 3 minute runs were pretty manageable too, though they did seem to take forever! I couldn't believe how much ground I covered in 3 minutes, which made it feel like I had run much longer.

I know this is a tough time of year to start this kind of program because I keep hoping the running 3-4 nights a week will make some weight start to melt off me, and it's just not happening yet. I know I need to try to look on the bright side, which is that I didn't gain anything over 4 days off work and Thanksgiving food galore. But it's hard not to get discouraged that the scale it not yet moving. I'm trying to be optimistic and believe that in the next week or two it will happen. I can already feel some difference in my legs - most specifically my calves - so I'm believing it will show everywhere soon.

Weak, Too.

Tonight I started Week 2 of training for January's 5K. Technically, I was supposed to start last night, but my husband wanted to take me to see Breaking Dawn. And when one's husband offers to take one to see a decidedly teenie-bopper chick flick when one and her husband are decidedly NOT teenagers, one must agree. So i skipped night 1 of training last night and did it tonight instead.

Week 1 was a 5 minute walk, then 8 intervals of 60 seconds of jogging followed by 90 seconds of running, then 5 more minutes of walking. By the end of the week, I was definitely comfortable witht hat routine and in no rush to change it up at all. So I was not looking forward to this week, which shifted my routine to 5 minutes of walking, 6 intervals of 90 seconds running and 2 minutes walking, and another 5 minutes of walking.

It wasn't fast. It wasn't easy. It sure as hell was NOT graceful. But I did it.

I think, however, I may be the only poor soul in the world who could GAIN 3 pounds after a week of cooking healthy meals at home and starting a running routine.

Either way. I'm moving forward.