Saturday, September 4, 2010

Bop Be Gone, Night 2.

Oh, I really amuse myself sometimes. For example, last night when I was all "Woah, rocking Rohan sure wears me out!" after maybe 10 minutes of rocking? Ah hahahaha! Because, try FORTY FIVE MINUTES tonight.

Yeah, Night 2 is going on record as Worst Suckage Ever.

First I went to a movie this morning with a friend and her daughter, and Luca went with. It was the first theater movie for both girls, which was really cute and exciting.

See? Cute. Fun. Too many blue M&Ms.

While we were there, Darrick wanted to work out, so he dropped Rohan off with his parents, and after my movie and his work out, we all met up over there. And Rohan was so sleepy, he passed out. Without a Bop, and like this:

Also cute and fun. And my mother-in-law? Pretty.

Anyhow, the point of all this being, when 1:30 hit and Luca was getting sleepy, we had to wake Rohan so we could go home. It was either that or get stuck at their house until 4:30, and as much as I love my in-laws, I really wanted to go home and nap myself. So we woke him, carted them both home, and Luca fell asleep in the car.

Rohan? Did not fall asleep again until 9:00 p.m. And that was only after he whined then cried, then almost fell asleep, then cried more and harder and louder until finally having an all-out fit/tantrum for FORTY FIVE minutes. I realize that many parents would have just left him to cry in his room, knowing full well it was part sadness on his end, part his reliance on the Bop to sleep (which, I blame squarely on us as parents for giving him that crutch), and part a show of tantrum skills unparalleled by any previous tantrum I've witnessed from him. But I guess this is my thing: I got him used to the Bop, benefited from his love for it and its ability to cue him to sleepy time quickly, and I owe him the compassion of a gentle approach to weaning from it.

But. But but but....after FORTY FIVE minutes of him whining, crying, yelling, pushing my face away from him, and me rocking and shushing and kissing and booty-patting, I realized a different approach was in order. I thoguht briefly about setting him in his crib and leaving him for a few minutes to see if he would fall asleep on his own since I knew it was possible that my presence was agitating him. But I decided against that just as quickly as I thought of it. It's not a judgy statement on anyone else's parenting, but I think I owe him compassion and leaving him alone to cry, confused at why I'd taken away his comfort, wasn't compassionate in my mind.

So I once again tried lying down with him and it once again failed. Big time. His crying and whining escalated rapidly into full out shrieking at a volume that had me concerned he would alarm the neighbors. It was time for a different tactic, which will sound way worse than it was: I raised my voice and firmly told him, "Rohan, that is enough. You will stop now."

And holy hell. It worked. It still took him awhile to stop crying entirely, and for the next 10 or so minutes I held him, rocking back and forth and talking to him saying things like, "I know this is hard, baby. I know. But you are a big boy and you are strong and you will be ok." After everything I said, he'd moan a little, I think for dramatic flair (hahaha) but then I started to tell him how he could stop crying and go to sleep, where he could dream about the people who loved him, and when I started to name the names of his family members and friends, he smiled a little and settled into the crook of my arm and let his eyes close.

I swayed back and forth silently with him until his little gasps of breath (you know the ones you can't control after a hard cry, that come out when you breathe in and out?) were well-spaced out and his body was limp with sleep.

So I guess, in the end, tonight was ultimately a success. But I am feeling discouraged and sad that it's so hard on him and really, really hope tomorrow is a better day.

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