Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Today I Pretended Not to be a Mom

Scandalous, right???

You see, there I was flying to DC by myself for 2 days of meetings, when the MOST gorgeous man in a business suit sat next to me on the plane and introduced himself. As I shook his hand, I snuck my rings off my left hand and into my pocket. And when I went to turn off my cell phone pre-flight and he spied the wallpaper picture of Luca and asked, "That your daaughter?" I lied and said, "No. My neice. I don't have any kids." and batted my lashes.

And then we joined the mile high club.

Or, maybe it went something like this: After refusing to let myself cry when I dropped the kids with Laura (daycare) on my way to the aiport this morning, I waited in security behind a mom and her new baby boy, and in front of a Dad and his toddler girl who looked a bit like a red-headed Luca. Or maybe she didn't, and I just WANTED her to look like Luca? And my throat got all lumpy and my eyes started to burn and then I realized that, hello?, the people in line have NO IDEA I just left my kids for my second work trip this month, and therefore I should NOT cry lest they mistake my jealousy that their kids were there with them for some sort of manic episode wherin I am crying in fear the cocaine in the lining of my suitcase will be found. Because really I was NOT in the mood for another security-point breakdown like I had last time I flew to DC alone.

And then I sat waiting for my plane to board and logged onto my computer only to be greeted by my background picture, which happens to be this:

And I had to put my head down and cover my face a little with my sweater so the old man with the paunch and the Michigan t-shirt who was sitting directly across from me wouldn't feel all weird and uncomfortable about the tears I was trying not to cry.

And then I boarded the plane and had a middle seat, and the woman in the window seat could have been my mom's age. And she made small talk with me and she was SO nice, and then she asked where I was headed. And I answered "DC." and she said, "Lots of fun stuff to do there!" I smiled and replied, "Yeah, but I'm going for work. Someday I'll have to go back with my fa---husband. Husband. And do the tourist stuff."

Yep. That was it right there. I was thisclose to saying, "my family", but I realized midsentence that her inevitable follow-up (esp in light of her prior statement that she'd been in AZ visiting her grandbabies) would be, "Do you have kids?"

And, really? Truthfully? I was seconds from public meltdown in the plane, sandwiched there in the middle seat (flashbacks to always having to 'ride bitch' as a kid) and it woulda been ugly. So I pretended not to be a mom, and I venture a guess if YOU had been that lady, you'd be thanking me now for doing that as opposed to breaking down into heaving sobs over an innocent question.


Tabitha said...

::HUGS:: Katie! I know how hard this is for you, but you are a strong woman. You do only the best by those kids and although they don't realize it yet, they're gonna love you for it!

Crystal said...

Love you, Kate. You're a good mom.

cupcake monkey said...

Awww, Katie!!


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