Cookie Hair and the Promise of Boobs

(from the backseat)
"I need to take a bath."
Me: "You do?"
"Yeah. I have cookies in my hair."

Ok, (a) She is two. She shouldn't be eager for bathtime, nor should she be able to express it so well. (b) Cookies in her hair? I need to hang out wherever she's been hanging out.



Other recent Luca-isms include asking me why her toy monkeys don't wear pants (a fair question, but one I can't really seem to find a good answer for), telling me "I threw up in buckets." (which, apparently, she DID when her daddy took her to the urgent care for kids for a fever of 103.2), and telling Darrick she'd eat her lunch because it would give her boobies like mommy has.

Ok, that last one went a little differently than I'm making it sound. She was refusing to eat lunch, which anyone who knows my kid knows it basically an everyday occurence, so my husband was trying to bribe her.

"If you eat lunch, we can go play in your pool."
"NO dada. ALL DONE."
"Do you want to go to the park? If you eat lunch, we can go to the park!"
"NO DADA. Let Luca down, please."
(switching tactics)
"Luca, you need to eat your lunch. If you don't eat, you're going to bed."
"Luca needs to sleep in DADA'S BED!"
(rapidly switching again)
"Luca, do you want to be a big girl?"
"Yes. Luca's a big girl, like mama."
(frantically trying to find something...ANYTHING...that will make her eat)
"Luca, if you want boobies like mommy when you grow up, you need to eat your lunch."
:::end scene with Luca eating every last bite of lunch:::

Apparently, it's not just boys and men who can be made to do ANYTHING for boobs.