I know. Now you can release that breath you were holding, right?
So last week marked the final week of my maternity leave, which coincided nicely with Darrick's first official week of summer break. We decided to take a trip to L.A. to visit my Grandma, who is 91 and just one of my most favorite people in the world. Ever. And we decided to drive because the flight would have cost $400....and that's not even accounting for the rental car we would have needed.
It always amuses me how people have these visions of L.A. as this glamorous and beautiful place. As we came through the fields of windmills, we could already see the haze, which was so thick for a moment I thought, "Well, maybe it's raining ahead?" Yes. Raining. Raining Hummer exhaust, Marlboro 100s smoke, and choking fumes of pollution. Sexy city, indeed.
So we left home at 3:30 Tuesday morning and drove until the kids woke and needed a break for nursing (Romo) and Mc Donald's sausage and cheese (Luca). The kids did great in the car, sleeping a lot of the trip. Lucky break, I suppose. We made it to Grandma's at about 10:30 and spent the day hanging out with Grandma and introducing her to Rohan. She was smitten. He was smote. (No, I don't know if that's a real word. Whatever. I liked it.)
On Wednesday we took the kids to Balboa Park because it was either let Luca run and play at a park or watch her get so bored and stir-crazy she starts juggling Grandma's Hummels. Curious about Balboa Park? It's a HUGE park with a man-made lake in the middle, and some seriously cool playgrounds. It was also the park Tori Spelling to her kids to on a recent episode of "Home Sweet Hollywood". Yes, I watch Oxygen. What of it?
Anyhow, Grandma and her care provider came with us. My Grandma has had a few bad falls over the years, so she has 2 women who come into her home to help with household chores, making sure she takes her meds, driving her places, etc. After the park, Darrick and I decided we wanted to take Luca to see the Walk of Stars, so we hopped on the freeway, but we ended up turning the wrong way on Sunset, so the road we took lead us through Brentwood (yes, USWeekly fans...the very same Brentwood where you always see pictures of Jennifer Garner pushing little Violet on a swing in a park) and all the way to the beach. It was Rohan's first time on the beach. He was not that impressed. Or maybe he was. He plays his cards close to the vest. We DO know precisely how Luca felt. She was not amused by the sand in her shoes, so she took them off and then was pissed the sand was hot. So Daddy carried her into the water, where she was absolutely appaled at the cold WETNESS of it. She ended up lounging on the blanket. Way to take in life's adventures, Luca!
That afternoon my mom flew over to stay with Grandma for a few days.
We were leaving the next day, but Darrick had broken his sandals at the beach and had no other shoes with him, so mom and I went to WalMart to get him some new sandals. WalMart on the bad side of L.A. at 9 p.m. is just about exactly as you'd probably imagine. So we rushed through it and then got out to the car only to discover: no keys in the diaper bag. Luca was with us and Rohan was sleeping at Grandma's house under Darrick's watch. And it appeared my keys were locked in the van. And my cell phone was at Grandma's house. We rushed back into the mall attached to WalMart (again, only in scary L.A. would WalMart be part of a MALL) so I could ask the customer service people if we could use a phone to have Darrick get a locksmith to us. As we sat at a table in the food court so my mom could write my Grandma's number down, I looked over and saw a poop. On the floor. In the food court.
A human poop.
In the food court.
And people this is just ONE example of why I say L.A. is not the swanky place of glamour "The Hills" makes it out to be.
In the end, the keys had been found by someone in the store (I think Luca took them out of the diaper bag and dropped them) and we made it home without the assistance of a locksmith.
So that, friends, is our trip to L.A.