The Things Toddlers Say

I'm warning you now, this is not for the squeamish about bodily functions. It involves a toddler funny, childbirth, and grossness you non-moms of the world would prefer to pretend doesn't really happen.




Warned? Prepared? Choosing to read on?




Ok.



So, I've mentioned and shared photos of the birth pool before. Along with the birth pool there is other 'stuff' you have to have: something waterproof to cover the floor, a hose and adapter to fill it, a floating thermometer, a pump to inflate it, and a fish net. What's THAT, you say? A fish net? Now what in the world would you need...a...fish net....oh. Oh! A fish net. To skim the pool. To remove debris.



Still lost? This is not the post for you. Now is your chance to run!



Debris is waterbirth talk for poop. YES, friends...people DO poop in labor. On dry land, the poop is, er, scooped (?) by the nurses or midwife or whomever. But in water...it requires a fish net and some skimming.

Our 'birth supplies' are all in one place, in the great room, where they can be found and accessed easily when I am in labor. When our MW came over, Darrick took several things out to get to the pool so he could show it to our MW. One of those things was the fish net, which of course Luca was drawn to. She played with it for a bit (don't worry...it's not USED!) and set it next to some of her toys and honestly, I forgot about it...until yesterday. Yesterday, when I saw her holding it, and I said, "Luca what color is that?" (we're working on our colors right now since everything is 'red' to her still). She turns to come over to me, holding it out flat, and says "Red." I correct her ("Green. It's green, Luca.") and she repeats after me. And then, she comes closer, and I see inside of the net, a small brown crayon.

Pointing, I say, "What is that?"

"Poo poooooo!"

(holding back a laugh) "I'm sorry. Did you say poo poo?"

(nodding): "Poo poo! Mama poo poo!" (here she dissolved into laughter)

Now, my dear sweet husband swears that he has not ONCE told her the fish net's purpose in life involves poop skimming. But how else would she know this? And how did the girl who calls EVERYTHING red figure out to put a brown crayon in the net?

Nothing is sacred with a toddler in the house.