We finally did it....we moved Luca to her crib.
For awhile, I had a really good excuse for not moving her. That being: she hated her crib with a passion. I'd managed only to get her sleeping in there one time, for about 4 minutes, before she awoke, realized where she was, and threw a huge fit. She was practically inconsolable. So, choosing to take the easy way out rather than face more sleepless nights, I decided to let her stay in the bassinet until she outgrew it.
She outgrew it.
A few weeks ago, she started waking at night after having slept through the night since she was about 6 weeks old. So one day, I decided to put her in her crib for her nap. 3 blissful hours later, she woke up. Compare this to her average nap time of 20-45 minutes anywhere else, and I was sold.
So, she's sleeping in her crib now. It was hard that first night. I was sad to have her so far away (well, not THAT far since our house is small, but certainly not arm's length away anymore). However, she seems to like it. I think it was her time.
Which leads me to another thought I've been pondering. I did this True Colors training for work...you answer some questions that tell you whether you are Blue, Green, Orange, or Gold. If you care, I'm Blue, then Green, then tied for Orange and Gold. Anyhow....our trainer was talking about how Orange people are impulsive and free...how they follow their hearts and are not afraid. He mentioned that if you give the test to people of all age ranges, the kids in the group are far more likely to be Orange. It makes sense: from the day they are in school, that sense of freedom and adventure is squelched. We tell them to color within the lines, to eat certain foods, to sit quietly in class. So, as we age, we lose our 'Orange' and become more Blue or Green or Gold.
This isn't entirely bad. We can't very well have millions of adults running around saying and doing whatever they want because they never learned how to self-monitor.
However, when he was saying this, all that guilt I had (and moms can ALL relate to the guilt that comes with just about every decision you make about your kid) I had about her sleep habits faded. The guilt over letting her sleep in bed with me. The guilt over napping on the couch with her for 2-3 hours off and on while she nurses. The guilt over not forcing the crib on her or not letting her 'cry it out'. All gone. Why torture myself over these things, when she has the rest of her life to learn to abide by society's time clock?
So what if she didn't sleep in her crib until she was almost 5 months old? So what if I nurse or rock her to sleep every night and most naps? So what if, when she cries, I pick her up and hold her? One day, my little girl will grow up. She'll learn to keep her hands and feet to herself, to not speak without being called on, to color within the lines. And so, for now, I will rejoice in letting her Orange side shine.