Friday, August 17, 2007


I know many people who won't go to Starbucks, for a variety of reasons. It's overpriced. It's corporate. It's wasteful. It's on every corner.

I am not one of these people. Starbucks is good. Tasty. Creative. Has a convenient drive-thru. And, most of all, it's on every corner. It's good and it's bad. But mostly, when it's 6 a.m. and I slept 3 hours because of Luca and I am expected to be able to function like an awake, alert, professional adult for 8 straight hours, it's good.

If I ever decide, however, to boycott Starbucks, it will be because of the Starf*cks.....the snotty 19 year old Emo kids who are pretty sure making a venti skim machiatto is akin to creating art. I have nothing against 19 year olds, nor against Emo kids. And I truly appreciate those who lovingly craft my morning brew. However, I cannot stand this:

me: "I'd like a Venti nonfat iced latte."
Starf*ck: "That's a nonfat iced venti latte?"

No, Starf*cker, it's a Venti nonfat iced latte. Why can't you repeat it back to me in the same order? Why must you mess with my order? Why, when I have swallowed my pride and adopted your stupid terms instead of ordering a large iced latte with skim milk, can't you humor me?

It matters not how you order the words. Any way you present it, they throw it back to you differently.

Grande hot white mocha with nonfat milk and no whip cream becomes white nonfat mocha with no whip.

Venti iced caramel machiatto, double becomes double iced venti caramel machiatto.

Even a small coffee with cream and sugar becomes coffee, tall with half and half and 3 sugars.

If I wasn't so addicted and drawn in by the convenience of the almighty drive-thru, I'd boycott. How very American of me.


Branola said...

LMAO!!! I just had this experience yesterday morning. It drives me bonkers! Oh--and I also don't get why Starbucks only seems to hire Emo kids. I feel old as it is; do I REALLY need to feel more ancient and unhip trying to get my morning caffeine fix???

Mere said...

I love it. You are funny. Why are Starbuck kids such snots?


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