I hope my brother doesn't read this.

A real conversation in our house the other day.

Him: "What are these you're wearing...granny panties?"
Me: "(Laughing) NO! They're boy shorts. Totally not the same thing."
Him: "(Pausing and making a face) That's even worse."

I wanted my kid and my dogs to like each other.

But not THIS much.

Luca's newest thing? Opening her mouth when Ruby kisses her. She thinks it's funny. I think I might throw up.

Out in the Open.

I finally bit the bullet and told my boss we're expecting today.

My original plan was to tell after the NT scan, but since we don't have it scheduled yet but we HAVE heard the heartbeat, I decided this was the week to tell.

So, Monday I went into the office because we had 2 new interns starting. Technically, I am their 'supervisor' since I am a social worker and they are in the SW program at ASU, so I wanted to be present for their first day. I was with them pretty much all day, and sent them home early at 3. I was just working up the nerve to go in and talk to her when she popped her head into my office to say she was leaving for the day. I figured asking her to sit down for a pregnancy announcement as she was heading out the door wouldn't work so well, so I bailed on that plan.

Tuesday, we were alone in the office for almost an hour, and then she was out all day at meetings. I *could* have told her in the morning, but we ended up spending a long time talking about the DNC and Michelle Obama's speech, Ted Kennedy's past indiscretions, whether Cindy McCain will be capable of a speech nearing the power of Mrs. Obama's, etc. It wasn't the situation for bringing up a baby. Can you imagine? "Yeah, that Ted Kennedy is a dinosaur but the old school Dems sure love him. By the way, I'm growing what's probably going to become a new-school Dem in my belly right now."

So...Wednesday it was. I talked myself into saying something first thing in the morning, but I wussed out again. I was about to work up the nerve when my co-worker came in for the day. Scratch that plan. The rest of the day my boss had tons of meetings, so I hardly saw her. We did have to carpool to a meeting together, but have you ever tried to talk to someone about something really personal that you are nervous to talk about...in a car? Holy awkward! So the car ride was out as well. But when we got back to the office after the meeting, I decided it was time to come clean. Without letting myself think about it, I headed into her office. In my imagination, I was going to say something really insightful and humorous to ease into the news. What really happened ws that I sat down and said, "Before you leave today, I wanted to talk to you. -Pause- I'm pregnant. -Pause- Again."

Oh yeah...you WISH you were as good with words as I am!

Anyhow, her reaction was a wide eyed surprised look, and then she exclaimed, "Really?!?! How exciting!!" I think I really surprised her and she wasn't sure how to respond at first. She asked when I was due and I told her March...and the quick math in her head told her I'm almost 3 months. This is where i felt bad...for keeping quiet so long...so I explained that we'd decided to wait to hear the HB before telling because of the risk of miscarriage early on. I also told her that last time I spilled to her at 5 weeks because I was new there and didn't want her to think potential morning sickness was a sign I needed rehab. Conversely, she now hopefully knows I'm not a lush or recovering heroin addict if I seem drowsy at my desk, so I figured it was less urgent for me to tell her ASAP.

Anyhow, it went over well, and we told my co-workers as well, so it's all out in the open. I'll have to let the interns know maybe next week, but I'm less worried about that.

This is more for my own memory-keeping than anything else.

I need to remember these things, since my blog is easier to access than Luca's baby book.

Luca started walking and crawling backwards just 2 days ago. I know a lot of kids crawl backwards before they go forwards (gravity of a big diapered baby chubby bum, I suppose), but not our sprout. No, she went from army crawl to monster crawl, and never moon-crawled. Well...now she does. And she also walks backward, which is super cuteness in a pink t-shirt and shorts. I'm not SURE that's baby book worthy, but something tells me it's some sort of minute milestone I should write down just in case.

Also...add these to the words in her rapidly expanding vocabulary. Some of these she was probably saying at 15 months, but I forgot them. Others she's picked up in the last 3 weeks. It's been languagepalooza over here!
- Nice (Niyyy)
- No
- Yeah
- Pretty
- Um
- Melon (melaaaah)
- Naughty (Nau-e)
- More (Mah)
- Night (Ni)
- Eyes
- Eat
- Nose
- Mouth (Mou)
- Sit (to the dogs)

My mom told me that, from 12 -24 months, they should know at least as many words as they are months old. I think we can check that box off on the 'Developmental Pop Quiz'.

And, on a fun note, our good friends Troy and Jessica were in town from Vegas, and we convinced them to bring their kids , Lydia (2.5 years) and Jonah (4 months) over to hang with Luca. Lydia is QUITE the ham. She acted like a demure little girl until we brought Luca down from her nap, and then she showed her really fun and giggly side. SO cute! And Jonah is the SWEETEST butterball baby I've seen in a LONG time. He was so good too! Of course we LOVED seeing Jess and Troy as well...Jess looks like her normal gorgeous and enviously skinny self only 4 months post baby, and Troy is really close to finishing Med School. We love you guys!!!










For comparison, these were taken almost a year to the day before, on 8/23/07:

1st Appointment.

We had our first appointment with our Midwife and her Apprentice today. It was great! The midwife we chose does appointments at the office in her house, and lives in an acre with dogs, cats, horses, and chickens. We got there a little early, so Luca played with 2 of their cats and a dog who were on the porch outside, and we talked to MW's husband, who was sipping a cup of coffee on the porch swing (how freaking idyllic is that???). When she was ready for us, we went in and went over our paperwork, and she asked us if we'd be willing to be part of a study on homebirth (looks at risk factors, care, nutrition, and outcomes for mom and baby) and we said yes. She also gave me a nutrition tracking form for the next week, and we talked about the importance of protein now to help baby's development, as well as leafy greens to prevent excessive bleeding in labor. The leafy greens, she noted, are most important later in pregnancy. The protein, however, needs to be something we watch starting NOW, since I'm not much of a meat eater and eggs are touch and go for me while pregnant.

We also talked about an exercise program to help make labor easier, and a lot about my pregnancy and delivery with Luca. Her Apprentice was there, and when I told her the name of the Midwife who attended our birth with Luca she FLIPPED out, she was so excited I'd worked with her. She then proceeded to tell me some story about a delivery she was at with that MW when she was in school, where the MW actually told the nurse to get the hell out of the room because she was trying to intervene with the baby and the MW knew baby was fine. LOVE it!

There was no physical exam, and no bloodwork yet. I go back in 3 weeks to have the regular bloodwork for the first trimester done. We did listen for the heartbeat, an experience that freaked little Luca out. They have an exam table in the office, so I layed down and let them try to listen with the doppler. As soon as both women were standing over me, Luca got veeeery still on the other side of the room and her lip started to quiver. I could see her eyes were rimming with tears, so I had Darrick grab her and bring her over so she could watch. It took a few minutes, but sure enough we all got to hear the heart beating clearly...our first real sign there is a growing person in there! It was awesome...my husband is SO excited!!

I also had to step on the scale, something no woman looks forward to. I know from weighing myself at home regularly (i.e. obsessively) that I've gained somewhere between 0-1.5 lb so far (it fluctuates all the time). So I got on expecting a certain number and her scale weighed me at 4 pounds less than that. It's not a big deal at all, since her real concern when it comes to weight is not what I weigh NOW, but what I gain between now and the end. She didn't give me a goal or a range, just stressed a healthy diet.

All in all, we are so happy we picked her, and we really like her Apprentice as well. When we left today, we both were really excited and it really hit us that we're doing this! It's a tiny bit scary and overwhelming, but between those two women, they have 13 kids and 9 of them were born at home. I think we're in capable hands.

Just Randomness.

My first appointment with our midwife is this Saturday. First, how awesome is it that she does weekend appointments? Second, even cooler, the appointment is an HOUR long at her in-home office, and the whole family can come. I'm pretty excited for it, but also a little apprehensive. This is a whole new world for me, so I don't know what to expect. I'm certain she'll try to find a heartbeat (not so certain she'll be able to, since I'm a bit...uh...rounder in the belly???...than I was last time) and that she will draw some blood. Other than that, I imagine we will talk about my history, what to expect from the visits, and probably a little about planning for this whole adventure. One cool bonus is that she's participating in a midwifery study on homebirths, so I will be part of that. It involves sharing some of my medical history, keeping a nutrition log, and possibly a few other things. Pretty cool! I think all those things together will make for a very involved and aware pregnancy experience...and hopefully a healthy one too!

So far, I haven't gained any weight (well, I hadN't gained any weight, but that Oreo shake I had tonight might change that one), but I feel like I'm going to be showing sooner. I had quite a bit of bloat early on, and it comes and goes, so some days I feel sure everyone is guessing something is up, and others I'm sure no one is the wiser. With Luca, I didn't get any comments from strangers until I was about 26 weeks along, but I know it won't be that long this time. I have what my former MW (not the one who attended the delivery, but the one I started my care with) refers to as 'Hammock Hips'...simply a euphamism for wide birthin' peasant pelvis and a big ass. I'm ok with it...it meant Luca had more room to hang out deep in my pelvis before I started to show. Everyone tells me I'll show earlier this time around, as most second time moms do, so we shall see!

Anyhow, all this talk about showing is because of one thing I'm still torn over: telling my boss. Last time around, I told her right away, mostly because I was brand new on the job and: a) I didn't want her thinking any puking (never happened) or fatigure (TOTALLY happened) was me being a lush, and b)In case she was a little rusty on her math skills, I didn't want her thinking I started the job knowing I was pregnant and lied to her. This time around, Darrick was really insistent about not saying anything until we heard a heartbeat. As I mentioned above, my first appointment is this weekend, and we may her one then, but there is no guranatee. We are getting the first trimeseter screening done, though, so if nothing else sometime probably that next week we will see the little sprinkle in action and know he/she is ok. My dilemma, though, is how long I can hide the pregnancy from my boss...both physically and emotionally. Physically, who knows when I won't be able to hide it in looser tops or button downs any longer. Also, there are times in my job when I need to do things like lifting heavy boxes (such as today), and I can't go on doing that for too long. Emotionally, I am one of those freaks who actually likes my boss and respects her, and I feel like not telling her is almost deceitful. Luckily, it's been easy to avoid this lately, since she's been out of the office most of the last 3 weeks, so there is no real 'avoiding' needed. But I think next week might be my breaking point. I don't know how people go 12 weeks...much less 16 or 20...without telling people!

All that said, I cannot believe that I am almost through the first trimester already! It seems to be flying by, and with a busy workload, a trip to Mexico, and the holidays all approaching faster than I could have imagined, it's just going to continue to fly by. More updates after my appointment Saturday!