Luca has two new cousins, one born in February and the other just over a week ago. Both were first babies for their mamas and born in the hospital. My brother's baby (the February girl) was born during RSV season so Luca and Rohan were not able to meet her until they were home from the hospital. My brother in law's baby, however, was born after RSV season and we were allowed to take both kids in to meet while they were still in their recovery room.
Since then, Luca has been talking a lot about how when she came out of mommy's tummy certain things happened. She saw her newest cousin breastfeed, and told me about how Rohan ate like that and so did she. She's a very observant kid and her memory never fails to amaze me. Just the other day we were driving to dinner and Luca, out of the blue, said to me, "Hey Mama, remember when I was born in the hospital where baby Birdie (what she calls her newest cousin) was born?". I told her I did and she asked if Rohan was born in the same place. My husband said no, and she replied, "Oh, he was born at our house!"
Fast forward to this morning when we were watching A Baby Story and a woman was giving birth in a birth center. With rapt attention, Luca watched the baby be born smoothly into his mama's hands and she broke into a smile. "Oh mama," she said turning to me, "remember when Romie (her nickname for her brother) was born here (pointing at the floor) in the big blue pool????". I told her I *did* remember and she smiled and said, "Yeah! Isn't that funny?!?!"
Yes. When I think of birth with no drugs, funny is my adjective of choice.
Showing posts with label Homebirth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homebirth. Show all posts
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
"Can you have a baby in your belly?"
Tonight, Luca and I were sitting on the floor together when she came over, put her hand on my belly, and said, "Can you have a baby in your belly?"
I looked at Darrick. He looked at me. "Did you tell her to say that?" I asked him. The look of abject terror at the thought of another baby gave me my answer.
And then I realized: sometimes Luca mixes up 'can' and 'do', and she very well may be confusing too much chocolate with a baby. So rather than broach the topic of how mommy and daddy are undecided about whether there will be another baby in our family one day, I deflected.
"Mommy used to have a baby in her belly, but not anymore. Remember when Rohan was in my belly?" She nodded and smiled. And then I realized that I've talked about his birth with so many people, but never with one of the most important people in my life: Luca. She was thisclose to being here for the birth, and had my mom not been at my house when I shot into labor at the speed of the Shinkansen she would have either napped through it or awoken just in time to hear me grunting out "Fuuuuuuuck" as I worked to push Rohan out. And yet, we'd just never talked to her about it.
So tonight, I took some time with Luca to talk about Rohan's birth. I kept it simple and asked her what she remembered, and to my surprise she remembered just enough. "Grandma took Luca to the park." she told me, which was true.
"That's right," I filled in the blanks for her, "We went to the store with Grandma, and then we ate lunch..."
"And I could watch the kids play?"
"Yes, the kids at the lunch place were playing. And we ate chicken and fruit."
"Yeah. Probly (probably is her new favorite word...it starts and ends almost every sentence it seems...) I ate Mama's chicken."
"You did, Luca. We had a good time. And then we came home. Do you remember?" She nods. "And you took a nap?"
"Probly Luca did."
"And then you woke up and Grandma took you to the park. And when she brought you home, Rohan wasn't in Mama's tummy anymore. He had been born."
"Probly I saw him in Dada's bed?" (Also true...she came home after we'd all gone upstairs and were snuggled in our bed, which she for some reason calls 'Dada's bed'.)
"Rohan was born right here," I pointed to the general area of the house where he'd been born.
"Oh. Yeah."
It was kind of cool to be able to tell Luca that story. Not that she completely got it...not this time. But I felt a little connection being able to tell her about the day her brother was born. It's such a great memory for me, and kind of cool that I can sit on the floor in my house and point to one spot and say, "He was born there." and gesture to another spot and say, "You met him right here." I look forward to telling Rohan that same story some day. And who knows? Maybe we'll decide to expand the family again someday and Luca will have the chance to be present for it, and then she can point to the place where baby is born and say, "Remember when you were born there? And when I met you here?"
3/30
I looked at Darrick. He looked at me. "Did you tell her to say that?" I asked him. The look of abject terror at the thought of another baby gave me my answer.
And then I realized: sometimes Luca mixes up 'can' and 'do', and she very well may be confusing too much chocolate with a baby. So rather than broach the topic of how mommy and daddy are undecided about whether there will be another baby in our family one day, I deflected.
"Mommy used to have a baby in her belly, but not anymore. Remember when Rohan was in my belly?" She nodded and smiled. And then I realized that I've talked about his birth with so many people, but never with one of the most important people in my life: Luca. She was thisclose to being here for the birth, and had my mom not been at my house when I shot into labor at the speed of the Shinkansen she would have either napped through it or awoken just in time to hear me grunting out "Fuuuuuuuck" as I worked to push Rohan out. And yet, we'd just never talked to her about it.
So tonight, I took some time with Luca to talk about Rohan's birth. I kept it simple and asked her what she remembered, and to my surprise she remembered just enough. "Grandma took Luca to the park." she told me, which was true.
"That's right," I filled in the blanks for her, "We went to the store with Grandma, and then we ate lunch..."
"And I could watch the kids play?"
"Yes, the kids at the lunch place were playing. And we ate chicken and fruit."
"Yeah. Probly (probably is her new favorite word...it starts and ends almost every sentence it seems...) I ate Mama's chicken."
"You did, Luca. We had a good time. And then we came home. Do you remember?" She nods. "And you took a nap?"
"Probly Luca did."
"And then you woke up and Grandma took you to the park. And when she brought you home, Rohan wasn't in Mama's tummy anymore. He had been born."
"Probly I saw him in Dada's bed?" (Also true...she came home after we'd all gone upstairs and were snuggled in our bed, which she for some reason calls 'Dada's bed'.)
"Rohan was born right here," I pointed to the general area of the house where he'd been born.
"Oh. Yeah."
It was kind of cool to be able to tell Luca that story. Not that she completely got it...not this time. But I felt a little connection being able to tell her about the day her brother was born. It's such a great memory for me, and kind of cool that I can sit on the floor in my house and point to one spot and say, "He was born there." and gesture to another spot and say, "You met him right here." I look forward to telling Rohan that same story some day. And who knows? Maybe we'll decide to expand the family again someday and Luca will have the chance to be present for it, and then she can point to the place where baby is born and say, "Remember when you were born there? And when I met you here?"
3/30
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Processing at Month 1.
I've spent a lot of time in the past month thinking over Rohan's birth. It all went so fast that it was a wild ride I was taken on, and as a result I didn't have much time AS it was happening to really stop and take note of things. But now that Rohan is a month old, I've had a few thoughts I want to get down, just for posterity. In no particular order:
1. I am so amused at the fact that the morning Rohan was born, I posted a blog entry about how nothing was happening and how good I felt. And then I made a cheeky comment about all the cramping I'd had previous nights possibly meaning a shorter labor. And I was KIDDING...so very not serious, since labor with Luca was 27 hours. Who would have guessed I'd be right....?
2. I was also laughing because my mom and I were talking on our way home from shopping and lunch that day (around noon) about how I was having cramps. I told her I'd had them for about a week every night, but they would go away, and that I was sort of hoping they would mean a faster labor. "But not TOO fast," I enthused. "I'm not hoping for a whirlwind 3 hour labor, but I'd be happy for 8 oe 12 hours." I had Rohan in my arms a mere 4.5 hours later. Hmmm.
3. I think what 'they' say is true about needing to be in the right situation for your body to really LET labor happen. I was contracting, but when I spoke to my MW at about 1:30, I was able to talk to her THROUGH a contraction that was 2 minutes after the prior one. I was also able to take some laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer and to sit on the floor with my friend and her beautiful 8 month old and have a conversation. It wasn't until I saw my husband's face as he came to check on me in the bathroom that it hit me like a ton of bricks that I WAS in labor. Seeing him lifted a weight, and made me feel safe and ready to give birth. From that point on, there was no going back. I was IN LABOR, and hard labor at that.
4. I think it's funny how many people have said they envy my fast labor. First, because I actually wish labor had been a bit longer. I wanted time to use the birth pool to relax. I wanted to be able to hang out with Luca a bit and see how she was handling watching me in labor, rather than having to make a snap decision to get her out of the house. I wanted to walk through contractions and use my birth ball. And, I admit, I REALLY wanted a labor that lasted long enough that I could get some back rubs and hair brushing out of my husband between contractions.
5. I've been wondering what the experience was like for Darrick. The day after, he told me he dreamed about the birth that night, and that he couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't think to ask what he meant, until today. He told me his memory of the birth is peace. He felt at ease and safe and happy, and he was never worried about how it would turn out. He was proud. He was at peace. That made me smile.
6. My only real regrets as far as things I had some control over were that I didn't call and have Darrick come home sooner (like around noon when I was pretty sure this was going to be the day but still thinking I must have HOURS left) and that I didn't open my eyes and see Rohan as he was born. I wish I'd asked my MW and her apprentices to tell me to open my eyes.
7. One more thing about the speed of this labor. Even if I HAD planned on going to the hospital, I'm fairly certain I never would have realized I truly was in labor and made it there in time to get an IV and pain meds. And then I would have been birthing pain-med free in an uncomfy bed. No thanks.
8. I always felt like having this baby at home was the right thing. I never really worried about things going wrong or complicating the pregnancy or birth. I knew transfers happen to some people sometimes, but I never even entertained the thought that I could be 'some people'. I just expected things to go 100% fine and I am SO glad I believed in that. For one, if I'd been under the care of an OB and consistently measuring 1-2 weeks ahead (as I did this entire pregnancy), I probably would have been given an ultrasound to measure baby. And they probably would have guessed him to be pretty large and pushed me for either an induction or a c-section. I would have said no, but I don't know how successful I would have been at fending it off. Say I WAS successful, and ended up going into labor on my own in a hospital and he had that nuchal hand (nuchal hand = hand by the face, which he did indeed have). I knew he was stuck for a few minutes, since I could feel myself pushing but him not moving. My MW handled it by trying to help me push more effectively and by recognizing what was happening and pulling his hand out so he could be born without it impeding progress. Would an OB have done the same? Or would an OB have either pushed for a c-section OR done an episiotomy and then used a vacuum to pull Rohan out? And if the OB HAD used the vacuum, would Rohan's cephalohematoma (which resolved totally on its own by 1 month) have been worse...possibly even causing a skull fracture as they sometimes do when caused by a vacuum? I don't know...but I am damn glad I trusted my body and my MW trusted my baby and me, and I don't HAVE to know the answers to those questions. Once I had time to really THINK about all the different ways this birth could have played out with an OB and a hospital, I knew I made the right choice birthing at home.
I'm still in awe. Honestly, after this experience, in spite of the pain that comes with birth, I almost wish Darrick didn't want to stop at 2 kids. I would love to do this again.
1. I am so amused at the fact that the morning Rohan was born, I posted a blog entry about how nothing was happening and how good I felt. And then I made a cheeky comment about all the cramping I'd had previous nights possibly meaning a shorter labor. And I was KIDDING...so very not serious, since labor with Luca was 27 hours. Who would have guessed I'd be right....?
2. I was also laughing because my mom and I were talking on our way home from shopping and lunch that day (around noon) about how I was having cramps. I told her I'd had them for about a week every night, but they would go away, and that I was sort of hoping they would mean a faster labor. "But not TOO fast," I enthused. "I'm not hoping for a whirlwind 3 hour labor, but I'd be happy for 8 oe 12 hours." I had Rohan in my arms a mere 4.5 hours later. Hmmm.
3. I think what 'they' say is true about needing to be in the right situation for your body to really LET labor happen. I was contracting, but when I spoke to my MW at about 1:30, I was able to talk to her THROUGH a contraction that was 2 minutes after the prior one. I was also able to take some laundry from the washer and put it in the dryer and to sit on the floor with my friend and her beautiful 8 month old and have a conversation. It wasn't until I saw my husband's face as he came to check on me in the bathroom that it hit me like a ton of bricks that I WAS in labor. Seeing him lifted a weight, and made me feel safe and ready to give birth. From that point on, there was no going back. I was IN LABOR, and hard labor at that.
4. I think it's funny how many people have said they envy my fast labor. First, because I actually wish labor had been a bit longer. I wanted time to use the birth pool to relax. I wanted to be able to hang out with Luca a bit and see how she was handling watching me in labor, rather than having to make a snap decision to get her out of the house. I wanted to walk through contractions and use my birth ball. And, I admit, I REALLY wanted a labor that lasted long enough that I could get some back rubs and hair brushing out of my husband between contractions.
5. I've been wondering what the experience was like for Darrick. The day after, he told me he dreamed about the birth that night, and that he couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't think to ask what he meant, until today. He told me his memory of the birth is peace. He felt at ease and safe and happy, and he was never worried about how it would turn out. He was proud. He was at peace. That made me smile.
6. My only real regrets as far as things I had some control over were that I didn't call and have Darrick come home sooner (like around noon when I was pretty sure this was going to be the day but still thinking I must have HOURS left) and that I didn't open my eyes and see Rohan as he was born. I wish I'd asked my MW and her apprentices to tell me to open my eyes.
7. One more thing about the speed of this labor. Even if I HAD planned on going to the hospital, I'm fairly certain I never would have realized I truly was in labor and made it there in time to get an IV and pain meds. And then I would have been birthing pain-med free in an uncomfy bed. No thanks.
8. I always felt like having this baby at home was the right thing. I never really worried about things going wrong or complicating the pregnancy or birth. I knew transfers happen to some people sometimes, but I never even entertained the thought that I could be 'some people'. I just expected things to go 100% fine and I am SO glad I believed in that. For one, if I'd been under the care of an OB and consistently measuring 1-2 weeks ahead (as I did this entire pregnancy), I probably would have been given an ultrasound to measure baby. And they probably would have guessed him to be pretty large and pushed me for either an induction or a c-section. I would have said no, but I don't know how successful I would have been at fending it off. Say I WAS successful, and ended up going into labor on my own in a hospital and he had that nuchal hand (nuchal hand = hand by the face, which he did indeed have). I knew he was stuck for a few minutes, since I could feel myself pushing but him not moving. My MW handled it by trying to help me push more effectively and by recognizing what was happening and pulling his hand out so he could be born without it impeding progress. Would an OB have done the same? Or would an OB have either pushed for a c-section OR done an episiotomy and then used a vacuum to pull Rohan out? And if the OB HAD used the vacuum, would Rohan's cephalohematoma (which resolved totally on its own by 1 month) have been worse...possibly even causing a skull fracture as they sometimes do when caused by a vacuum? I don't know...but I am damn glad I trusted my body and my MW trusted my baby and me, and I don't HAVE to know the answers to those questions. Once I had time to really THINK about all the different ways this birth could have played out with an OB and a hospital, I knew I made the right choice birthing at home.
I'm still in awe. Honestly, after this experience, in spite of the pain that comes with birth, I almost wish Darrick didn't want to stop at 2 kids. I would love to do this again.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Rohan's Story.
This is the story of Rohan's birth. It's long, so get comfy and grab a cup of coffee before you settle in to read. I've included some pictures too. I will say, they aren't perfect and beautiful, but this is what natural birth looks like, mascara smudges and all.
I am going to attempt to write this birth story and include all the relevant details. It was so amazing, overpowering, shocking...just so much MORE than I expected.
Sunday evening we went to my in-laws' house for dinner to celebrate my brother in law's birthday. I noticed some cramping throughout dinner, but intentionally ignored it since I didn't want to get my hopes up. I'd been having cramps here and there for a week or so. They would come in the evenings after Luca was in bed, but if I tried to time them or concentrate on them (or heaven forbid get excited about them!) they would disappear. So I had decided that until something really noticeable was happening, I would carry on as though they weren't there. I didn't even mention them to my husband, mainly because I was worried he would tell his whole family - - - my husband not being much of a secret-keeper - - - and I didn't want everyone excited in case they fizzled as usual.
After dinner with the in laws, we met my family for dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday. Cramping continued, and I noticed my appetite was almost non-existent. I started to time it when we got home about 9, but by 10:30 it was fading, so I went to bed.
Monday morning (3 days past my EDD) I woke up and decided I was not in the mood to work at home as I usually do on Mondays, so I emailed my boss and told her I planned to take the day off. I called my Midwife Sue at 9 and said "Nothing is happening.", so she suggested we make an appointment for Tuesday at noon, and I agreed. About 10, I talked to my mom, who said she'd come over so we could go shopping and to lunch. I didn't tell her this, but by the time she got over at about 10:45, I was having some cramping like early labor. While shopping, they started to get stronger and spread into my back. I found myself rocking my hips side to side while holding onto the cart and walking. At one point, I tried to sit down to look at a pattern book at the fabric store, and couldn't bear sitting still.
We went to lunch at Chick Fil A after shopping, and at this point sitting to eat was starting to get really uncomfortable. I hardly ate anything, since my appetite was still pretty non-existent. We got home about 12:30. Our friend Natalie and her baby girl Elle came over for a bit. We sat on the floor playing with Elle, and I started to notice that I was REALLY uncomfortable sitting on the floor. I was having to shift positions and move my hips a lot, but I didn't really want to let on to Natalie that I was so uncomfortable so I tried to play it cool while she was there. She left at 1:30, and my mom took Luca up for her nap.
I decided to get on my knees and lean my chest over my yoga ball while my mom was upstairs, to see if the back pain would ease. I was rocking my pelvis back and forward and having to concentrate through the contractions. I also started to time my pains (which I was just now starting to accept WERE contractions and were not going away) on contractionmaster.com. To my GREAT surprise, they were about 3-3.5 minutes apart, but only lasting about 25-45 seconds, and still manageable enough I could talk through them.
After 15 minutes, I decided I should call my MW. I left her a voice mail to the effect of, "Just FYI, contrax are 3-4 minutes apart but manageable. No rush, but if you can stop by later please do."
At 1:50, I called Darrick's work. He had just gone in to teach the last class of the day, so I told the front office I was in labor, but no rush for him to come home, as I was sure we had HOURS still (my labor with Luca was 27 hours!). He has wrestling club after school on Mondays, and I wanted him to come home after class instead of going to that. Thank goodness he got the message at 2:30 and came straight home...
My MW called back from her tax man's office in the West Valley (40 or so minutes away), and I kept trying to reassure her that I was sure I'd be in labor forever and there was no rush to come over. She said to me, "Katie, this is your second baby and your contractions are less than 5 minutes apart. I don't want to miss your birth." She asked if it was ok for her to send her former apprentice, Alison, who's now licensed, to check me so she could tell Sue how progressed I was. I said of course, and she said Alison would call me. When Alison did call, I realized I was having trouble concentrating and couldn't manage to give her directions, so I passed the phone to my mom and went upstairs to go to the bathroom.
At some point, Darrick got home and came upstairs and into the bathroom (I think this was shortly before 3) and asked me how sure I was this was 'IT'. I remember looking at my face in the mirror, and it was white, and telling him, "Please go set up the pool." His eyes got HUGE and he asked if I was ok. I remember telling him that I was starting to get scared by the intensity and speed of things, and was kind of worried with how fast it seemed to be going. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Sue will make it. And if she doesn't, we can do this. All we need is each other." It was in that moment that I relaxed a little. I felt safe, like together we could do anything.
In the time it took me to get downstairs I had 3 contractions. I told Darrick he needed to call Sue back and tell her to head over because I was worried she wouldn't make it in time otherwise.
I laid on the couch on my side, and between contractions I heard my MW's current apprentice, Selena, talking to me, though I don't know when she got there. I was coping with the contractions by shaking my foot vigorously and counting to 10 as I breathed in and out, but their intensity was really shocking me. It seemed like they were one on top of the other, and I still was in denial it was getting so intense so quickly. Alison showed up at 3:15 (I know the time only because she told me later) and asked to check me between contractions. Every time she would get ready to check, I'd have a contraction...that's how close they were together.
A funny aside here: my mom had been hanging out with me until Darrick got home, and had run out to Home Depot for something before Alison showed up. Alison asked Darrick if we had olive oil to use (instead of KY like OBs use) to check my progress. He heard only 'oil', so he came out of the kitchen with the BIGGEST bottle of vegetable oil you could imagine. Between contractions I noticed it and cracked up, telling him she wanted to check my cervix, not stir-fry my placenta.
So Alison checks me and says I'm 5cm and 'paper thin'. She suggests I get upright so baby's head will put pressure on my cervix. Right after she checked me, I thought I felt some fluid leaking, so I told her I thought my water broke, and she confirmed it had. Apparently just her quick check of the cervix was all my body needed to fly into overdrive. I asked if I could get into the pool and she said of course, so in I went. Right away, I had 2 or 3 strong contractions. I'm not sure how she knew, but Alison told Darrick that he needed to help me get my swimsuit bottoms off (yes, while in labor I'd gone upstairs and changed into a bikini with a shirt on top) between my contractions in case I needed to push. I fought them a bit over removing the bottoms because I was starting to freak a little about how fast it was going. With their help I got them off and sunk into the pool. I remember wishing the water was deeper, because during a contraction my back and belly couldn't all be submerged at the same time. But the water felt so nice and welcoming.
At some point during this, my mom returned and I told Darrick to have her get Luca and get out ASAP. I was vocalizing through my contractions at this point and didn't want to scare Luca (who was napping still). My mom ran up to get her, but every time she tried to come down the stairs, I would yell, "NO! Not yet!" because another contraction was coming. She finally escaped between contractions, and not a moment too soon, because I started telling Alison and Selena I thought I was going to push. It really was involuntary...the urge was so strong I could not stop myself. At this point I was on my knees, leaning my upper body onto Darrick's arms and the side of the pool.
They gave me the ok to push, and I was thinking, "No way. There is NO WAY I am ready to push yet! It han't been long enough!". But with the next contraction, I couldn't stop my body from bearing down, so I let it happen on its own. "I'm pushing!! Oh! I'm pushing!" I cried out. I'm not sure if I was proud or shocked or a little of both, but I think I really needed to verbalize what I was doing so someone could assure me it was the right thing. I was still in denial that it was time to push already. They cheered me on and said, "Great! Keep going as long as you feel the urge!"
Somewhere in here, Sue arrived. I heard her and Alison talking, but I was in my zone. It's true what you hear about labor-land. I knew things were happening outside my birth pool, but I couldn't be bothered with focusing on what those things were. They let me just push during contractions for awhile. I was kind of scared of the pain because everyone told me pushing is a relief and not painful, but that was not true for me...while I couldn't feel the contractions anymore, I could feel the baby moving down and it was surprisingly intense. But they were talking to me, telling me I could do it and that my baby was almost here. That, and Darrick telling me over and over how well I was doing and how proud he was got me through and kept me going. He would hold a cool cloth to my forehead and neck while I was pushing, then give me sips of Gatorade or water between contractions.
Throughout the time in the pool, the Midwives were periodically checking my pulse and listening for baby. I was fine as was baby, but they were having trouble hearing baby's heartbeat because it was behind my pubic bone. To be on the safe side, they put a tube with oxygen in front of me during pushing, which was when I realized my MW's other apprentice, Greeta, was also there, as she was holding the tube.
Between contractions, I was laughing and apologizing for making so much noise (really I was just grunting and ocassionally throwing in a profanity or a chant to myself like, "Open for baby, open for baby." or "Come out baby. We're ready. Come out." or "I can I can I can I can I am.") and they were laughing about that. They promised I wasn't even CLOSE to yelling and they had heard WAY louder births. I remember being surprised at how present and clear I felt in the space between contractions. In contrast as soon as I felt the beginnings of the next contraction sneaking up on me ,or, sometimes, barreling over me, I would retreat into my self, focusing only on Darrick's hand holding mine and the feel of the side of the birth pool on my cheek.
After about 30 minutes of pushing, I could feel baby really low. They told me I could feel the head when I pushed, so I reached and felt it and started to cry. Right after that, they suggested I flip over to sitting so I'd have more control and could open my hips more. Because of the pressure, I was fighting opening my legs wide enough, and I needed to be on my butt to do so. They helped me over, and with the next few contractions I pushed from there. I put my hand down and could feel the head, but I kept my eyes closed the whole time.
Usually when you push, baby moves down, and when you stop they go back up a bit. I could feel the movement down and then up through most of the pushing phase, but at this point I would push and could feel that baby was just sitting there in the same spot. Sue suggested I might have better luck out of the water on the birth stool, and I said I didn't want to get out. Mostly, I couldn't imagine hauling myself out of the pool in the midst of all this. I heard her send one of the apprentices out to get the birth stool, and that was all I needed to hear. I had spent months imagining my baby being born into water, and I was determined to make it happen.
I pushed with all my might through the next contraction, and could feel him crowning. It did burn, but only for a second. I thought I felt his head come out, so I was asking, "Is baby out? Is that my baby?" and they said, "No, but you're right there. Keep going!" I couldn't understand why I thought I felt baby come out and they were saying no, but I pushed through the next contraction and felt his head, then his body slide out. That felt like a HUGE relief. Turns out, what I felt earlier that I thought was his head coming out was Sue pulling his right hand up and over his head. He was coming out with his hand by his face, which meant his head was torqued to the side. The odd angle of his head and the hand by the face (nuchal hand) explained why he was just sitting there and not moving while pushing. They told me later that if his hand hadn't been there, he would have been out before Sue had even gotten to my house. He also had his cord very loosely around his neck one time, but as is the case with most nuchal cords, it was never a dangerous situation.
Rohan Morrison Kahle was born at 4:25 p.m.
The amazing Sue continues to support me, even after Rohan is born.
As soon as he was out, I reached down for him and they handed him to me to put him on my chest, and I started to laugh and cry. I kept thanking everyone and saying, "I can't believe we did this!". They corrected me and reminded me *I* did it, which of course made me cry some more. Darrick got the camera and took some pictures (the plan to photograph and video it all went by the wayside when it went so fast), and I just held him for a few minutes. Finally, Darrick lifted baby's leg and we both said, "BOY!".
They cut the cord after it stopped pulsing, and I ended up delivering the placenta in the pool and getting out right after. I got onto the couch and they covered me with blankets because I was shaking (post-birth hormones). By this point I was already feeling fine and not in pain at all. I was laughing about the vegetable oil and talking to everyone as though it were a normal day and I hadn't just given birth in a plastic pool in my living room on a Monday afternoon.
My MW and her apprentices hung out until about 6. In that time, I breastfed Rohan, we went upstairs and they did a newborn check on him, and they checked me for tears. Because of his size, the hand by the face, and the speed of my labor, we expected I may need stitches. My tear ended up being minor enough we opted not to stitch it at all. And I'll tell you....I am having NO pain at all, despite a big baby and a hand by the face. I really think being able to feel what was happening made for a better delivery and recovery. And to answer the question everyone seems to want to know the answer to...NO...I did NOT have to use the skimmer!
Weighing my beautiful son.
Newborn exam.
This was a novel, but I want to remember all the details before they get lost on me. This story is just the facts and details I know I'll want written for posterity. What I'm not sure it captures fully is the intense joy and surrender I felt giving birth to my first son at home, surrounded only by people I asked to attend and supported fully. Throughout my pregnancy, I grew to know and love my birth team, and they were supportive of every decision my family made and provided us a safe space in which we were able to create the birth we desired. It was an amazing experience. There was not a single moment in the whole pregnancy, labor, and birth when I was worried about my safety or Rohan's, and I never even thought about drugs while at home. I felt very safe and very comfortable, and though it was fast and for sure it was painful, it was amazing and I felt SO strong and so loved and supported.
I know homebirth isn't for a lot of people, but it was so amazing, and I'm glad I trusted my body and my baby and my husband and I got to have this beautiful experience.
I am going to attempt to write this birth story and include all the relevant details. It was so amazing, overpowering, shocking...just so much MORE than I expected.
Sunday evening we went to my in-laws' house for dinner to celebrate my brother in law's birthday. I noticed some cramping throughout dinner, but intentionally ignored it since I didn't want to get my hopes up. I'd been having cramps here and there for a week or so. They would come in the evenings after Luca was in bed, but if I tried to time them or concentrate on them (or heaven forbid get excited about them!) they would disappear. So I had decided that until something really noticeable was happening, I would carry on as though they weren't there. I didn't even mention them to my husband, mainly because I was worried he would tell his whole family - - - my husband not being much of a secret-keeper - - - and I didn't want everyone excited in case they fizzled as usual.
After dinner with the in laws, we met my family for dinner to celebrate my mom's birthday. Cramping continued, and I noticed my appetite was almost non-existent. I started to time it when we got home about 9, but by 10:30 it was fading, so I went to bed.
Monday morning (3 days past my EDD) I woke up and decided I was not in the mood to work at home as I usually do on Mondays, so I emailed my boss and told her I planned to take the day off. I called my Midwife Sue at 9 and said "Nothing is happening.", so she suggested we make an appointment for Tuesday at noon, and I agreed. About 10, I talked to my mom, who said she'd come over so we could go shopping and to lunch. I didn't tell her this, but by the time she got over at about 10:45, I was having some cramping like early labor. While shopping, they started to get stronger and spread into my back. I found myself rocking my hips side to side while holding onto the cart and walking. At one point, I tried to sit down to look at a pattern book at the fabric store, and couldn't bear sitting still.
We went to lunch at Chick Fil A after shopping, and at this point sitting to eat was starting to get really uncomfortable. I hardly ate anything, since my appetite was still pretty non-existent. We got home about 12:30. Our friend Natalie and her baby girl Elle came over for a bit. We sat on the floor playing with Elle, and I started to notice that I was REALLY uncomfortable sitting on the floor. I was having to shift positions and move my hips a lot, but I didn't really want to let on to Natalie that I was so uncomfortable so I tried to play it cool while she was there. She left at 1:30, and my mom took Luca up for her nap.
I decided to get on my knees and lean my chest over my yoga ball while my mom was upstairs, to see if the back pain would ease. I was rocking my pelvis back and forward and having to concentrate through the contractions. I also started to time my pains (which I was just now starting to accept WERE contractions and were not going away) on contractionmaster.com. To my GREAT surprise, they were about 3-3.5 minutes apart, but only lasting about 25-45 seconds, and still manageable enough I could talk through them.
After 15 minutes, I decided I should call my MW. I left her a voice mail to the effect of, "Just FYI, contrax are 3-4 minutes apart but manageable. No rush, but if you can stop by later please do."
At 1:50, I called Darrick's work. He had just gone in to teach the last class of the day, so I told the front office I was in labor, but no rush for him to come home, as I was sure we had HOURS still (my labor with Luca was 27 hours!). He has wrestling club after school on Mondays, and I wanted him to come home after class instead of going to that. Thank goodness he got the message at 2:30 and came straight home...
My MW called back from her tax man's office in the West Valley (40 or so minutes away), and I kept trying to reassure her that I was sure I'd be in labor forever and there was no rush to come over. She said to me, "Katie, this is your second baby and your contractions are less than 5 minutes apart. I don't want to miss your birth." She asked if it was ok for her to send her former apprentice, Alison, who's now licensed, to check me so she could tell Sue how progressed I was. I said of course, and she said Alison would call me. When Alison did call, I realized I was having trouble concentrating and couldn't manage to give her directions, so I passed the phone to my mom and went upstairs to go to the bathroom.
At some point, Darrick got home and came upstairs and into the bathroom (I think this was shortly before 3) and asked me how sure I was this was 'IT'. I remember looking at my face in the mirror, and it was white, and telling him, "Please go set up the pool." His eyes got HUGE and he asked if I was ok. I remember telling him that I was starting to get scared by the intensity and speed of things, and was kind of worried with how fast it seemed to be going. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Sue will make it. And if she doesn't, we can do this. All we need is each other." It was in that moment that I relaxed a little. I felt safe, like together we could do anything.
In the time it took me to get downstairs I had 3 contractions. I told Darrick he needed to call Sue back and tell her to head over because I was worried she wouldn't make it in time otherwise.
I laid on the couch on my side, and between contractions I heard my MW's current apprentice, Selena, talking to me, though I don't know when she got there. I was coping with the contractions by shaking my foot vigorously and counting to 10 as I breathed in and out, but their intensity was really shocking me. It seemed like they were one on top of the other, and I still was in denial it was getting so intense so quickly. Alison showed up at 3:15 (I know the time only because she told me later) and asked to check me between contractions. Every time she would get ready to check, I'd have a contraction...that's how close they were together.
A funny aside here: my mom had been hanging out with me until Darrick got home, and had run out to Home Depot for something before Alison showed up. Alison asked Darrick if we had olive oil to use (instead of KY like OBs use) to check my progress. He heard only 'oil', so he came out of the kitchen with the BIGGEST bottle of vegetable oil you could imagine. Between contractions I noticed it and cracked up, telling him she wanted to check my cervix, not stir-fry my placenta.
So Alison checks me and says I'm 5cm and 'paper thin'. She suggests I get upright so baby's head will put pressure on my cervix. Right after she checked me, I thought I felt some fluid leaking, so I told her I thought my water broke, and she confirmed it had. Apparently just her quick check of the cervix was all my body needed to fly into overdrive. I asked if I could get into the pool and she said of course, so in I went. Right away, I had 2 or 3 strong contractions. I'm not sure how she knew, but Alison told Darrick that he needed to help me get my swimsuit bottoms off (yes, while in labor I'd gone upstairs and changed into a bikini with a shirt on top) between my contractions in case I needed to push. I fought them a bit over removing the bottoms because I was starting to freak a little about how fast it was going. With their help I got them off and sunk into the pool. I remember wishing the water was deeper, because during a contraction my back and belly couldn't all be submerged at the same time. But the water felt so nice and welcoming.
At some point during this, my mom returned and I told Darrick to have her get Luca and get out ASAP. I was vocalizing through my contractions at this point and didn't want to scare Luca (who was napping still). My mom ran up to get her, but every time she tried to come down the stairs, I would yell, "NO! Not yet!" because another contraction was coming. She finally escaped between contractions, and not a moment too soon, because I started telling Alison and Selena I thought I was going to push. It really was involuntary...the urge was so strong I could not stop myself. At this point I was on my knees, leaning my upper body onto Darrick's arms and the side of the pool.
They gave me the ok to push, and I was thinking, "No way. There is NO WAY I am ready to push yet! It han't been long enough!". But with the next contraction, I couldn't stop my body from bearing down, so I let it happen on its own. "I'm pushing!! Oh! I'm pushing!" I cried out. I'm not sure if I was proud or shocked or a little of both, but I think I really needed to verbalize what I was doing so someone could assure me it was the right thing. I was still in denial that it was time to push already. They cheered me on and said, "Great! Keep going as long as you feel the urge!"
Somewhere in here, Sue arrived. I heard her and Alison talking, but I was in my zone. It's true what you hear about labor-land. I knew things were happening outside my birth pool, but I couldn't be bothered with focusing on what those things were. They let me just push during contractions for awhile. I was kind of scared of the pain because everyone told me pushing is a relief and not painful, but that was not true for me...while I couldn't feel the contractions anymore, I could feel the baby moving down and it was surprisingly intense. But they were talking to me, telling me I could do it and that my baby was almost here. That, and Darrick telling me over and over how well I was doing and how proud he was got me through and kept me going. He would hold a cool cloth to my forehead and neck while I was pushing, then give me sips of Gatorade or water between contractions.
Throughout the time in the pool, the Midwives were periodically checking my pulse and listening for baby. I was fine as was baby, but they were having trouble hearing baby's heartbeat because it was behind my pubic bone. To be on the safe side, they put a tube with oxygen in front of me during pushing, which was when I realized my MW's other apprentice, Greeta, was also there, as she was holding the tube.
Between contractions, I was laughing and apologizing for making so much noise (really I was just grunting and ocassionally throwing in a profanity or a chant to myself like, "Open for baby, open for baby." or "Come out baby. We're ready. Come out." or "I can I can I can I can I am.") and they were laughing about that. They promised I wasn't even CLOSE to yelling and they had heard WAY louder births. I remember being surprised at how present and clear I felt in the space between contractions. In contrast as soon as I felt the beginnings of the next contraction sneaking up on me ,or, sometimes, barreling over me, I would retreat into my self, focusing only on Darrick's hand holding mine and the feel of the side of the birth pool on my cheek.
After about 30 minutes of pushing, I could feel baby really low. They told me I could feel the head when I pushed, so I reached and felt it and started to cry. Right after that, they suggested I flip over to sitting so I'd have more control and could open my hips more. Because of the pressure, I was fighting opening my legs wide enough, and I needed to be on my butt to do so. They helped me over, and with the next few contractions I pushed from there. I put my hand down and could feel the head, but I kept my eyes closed the whole time.
Usually when you push, baby moves down, and when you stop they go back up a bit. I could feel the movement down and then up through most of the pushing phase, but at this point I would push and could feel that baby was just sitting there in the same spot. Sue suggested I might have better luck out of the water on the birth stool, and I said I didn't want to get out. Mostly, I couldn't imagine hauling myself out of the pool in the midst of all this. I heard her send one of the apprentices out to get the birth stool, and that was all I needed to hear. I had spent months imagining my baby being born into water, and I was determined to make it happen.
I pushed with all my might through the next contraction, and could feel him crowning. It did burn, but only for a second. I thought I felt his head come out, so I was asking, "Is baby out? Is that my baby?" and they said, "No, but you're right there. Keep going!" I couldn't understand why I thought I felt baby come out and they were saying no, but I pushed through the next contraction and felt his head, then his body slide out. That felt like a HUGE relief. Turns out, what I felt earlier that I thought was his head coming out was Sue pulling his right hand up and over his head. He was coming out with his hand by his face, which meant his head was torqued to the side. The odd angle of his head and the hand by the face (nuchal hand) explained why he was just sitting there and not moving while pushing. They told me later that if his hand hadn't been there, he would have been out before Sue had even gotten to my house. He also had his cord very loosely around his neck one time, but as is the case with most nuchal cords, it was never a dangerous situation.
Rohan Morrison Kahle was born at 4:25 p.m.
I love how this picture really captures how powerful and joyful I felt in that moment.
The amazing Sue continues to support me, even after Rohan is born.
As soon as he was out, I reached down for him and they handed him to me to put him on my chest, and I started to laugh and cry. I kept thanking everyone and saying, "I can't believe we did this!". They corrected me and reminded me *I* did it, which of course made me cry some more. Darrick got the camera and took some pictures (the plan to photograph and video it all went by the wayside when it went so fast), and I just held him for a few minutes. Finally, Darrick lifted baby's leg and we both said, "BOY!".
They cut the cord after it stopped pulsing, and I ended up delivering the placenta in the pool and getting out right after. I got onto the couch and they covered me with blankets because I was shaking (post-birth hormones). By this point I was already feeling fine and not in pain at all. I was laughing about the vegetable oil and talking to everyone as though it were a normal day and I hadn't just given birth in a plastic pool in my living room on a Monday afternoon.
My MW and her apprentices hung out until about 6. In that time, I breastfed Rohan, we went upstairs and they did a newborn check on him, and they checked me for tears. Because of his size, the hand by the face, and the speed of my labor, we expected I may need stitches. My tear ended up being minor enough we opted not to stitch it at all. And I'll tell you....I am having NO pain at all, despite a big baby and a hand by the face. I really think being able to feel what was happening made for a better delivery and recovery. And to answer the question everyone seems to want to know the answer to...NO...I did NOT have to use the skimmer!
Weighing my beautiful son.
Newborn exam.
This was a novel, but I want to remember all the details before they get lost on me. This story is just the facts and details I know I'll want written for posterity. What I'm not sure it captures fully is the intense joy and surrender I felt giving birth to my first son at home, surrounded only by people I asked to attend and supported fully. Throughout my pregnancy, I grew to know and love my birth team, and they were supportive of every decision my family made and provided us a safe space in which we were able to create the birth we desired. It was an amazing experience. There was not a single moment in the whole pregnancy, labor, and birth when I was worried about my safety or Rohan's, and I never even thought about drugs while at home. I felt very safe and very comfortable, and though it was fast and for sure it was painful, it was amazing and I felt SO strong and so loved and supported.
I know homebirth isn't for a lot of people, but it was so amazing, and I'm glad I trusted my body and my baby and my husband and I got to have this beautiful experience.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Questions and Answers.
I thought I'd take a few minutes to go over some questions I've received (some fairly common, others sort of unusual) lately. Seems like a good way to kill time (otherwise known as wait impatiently for a baby to arrive).
Question:
How do you keep the water in the birth tub warm?
Answer:
I'm not really sure how this will work in real life, but in my imagination, it's not so hard. I do not plan to fill and get into the birth tub until I am sure I am in active labor (my MW suggests about 5 cm, but does not demand I get checked to prove I am 5 cm first or anything). Our water heater will be turned up so the tub fills very hot. I'll get in and relax.
The water is actually NOT intended to be 'hot' when baby is born in it. It should be close to mom's normal body temperature of 98.6, so ideally by the time baby is born into the water, it will have cooled down to about that temperature. And many moms who've birthed in water say you won't WANT it really hot anyhow, since labor raises your core body temp and too-hot water = too-hot mom. Now, should the water need heating, we can boil some on the stove and add it in, or siphon some out and add more in straight from the tap.
Question:
What do you do with the water when you're done birthing and the pool needs to be emptied?
Answer:
You siphon the water out. You can use a hose to siphon it into the yard, sink, or tub.
Question:
Does the birth pool have stirrups?
Answer:
No. Stirrups are not needed, as mom pushes in whatever position is comfortable for her. Stirrups are only used in labor to get mom in a position that's convenient for the OB or MW attending, and that position can lead to worse tearing or...episiotomies. Which leads ME to....
Question:
What if you need an episiotomy?
Answer:
Episiotomies are very rare, if not non-existent, in home births. I am not even sure if my MW brings the right....tools....to do one. I never asked, as I don't plan on needing one done. She tells me very few of her moms tear at all because they direct the pushing themselves and, in water, the tissues have time to soften enough that there's usually no tearing. What tears she DOES see usually don't even need stitches.
Question:
What about the mess?
Answer:
Most of the 'mess' will be contained in the birth pool. We also have 'drop cloths' of sorts to lay on the floor and bed, and the MW and her apprentice do a cleaning of the house after baby is born, including throwing soiled linens in the wash.
Question:
So about this 'mess' in the pool...isn't it kind of gross and unsanitary to float around with your placenta?
Answer:
I don't plan on bobbing for placenta, if that's what you mean. There will probably be some amniotic fluid and blood (and possible 'debris'...please see fish net post below) in the pool at some point. But the fact is...this is all stuff (ok...maybe not the 'debris') baby is being exposed to in the womb, and is no less safe for baby to be exposed to OUTSIDE the womb. I don't expect it to be a lot, and usually the blood comes after the baby, so it's not like I'll be swimming in it for 10 hours of labor. Also, the placenta is typically delivered outside of the pool, on dry land, so there will be no floating with that either.
Question:
What if baby needs oxygen or CPR? What if mom needs oxygen or bleeds too much? Can the MW handle this?
Answer:
We bought this jar of stuff called Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic. You just open the lid, and out comes a magical fairy to sprinkle Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic around the room, and all is better. And the bonus is, labor doesn't hurt and AIDS is cured and there is world peace.
Ok, but seriously, people. I do appreciate the concern and curiosity, but we didn't get out MW out of the back of the New Times. We didn't pick her just because she has horses and Luca likes going to see them (though she does, and Luca does). We interviewed 3 potential MWs and asked a ton of questions. Naturally we asked about emergency medical situations and how they are handled. My MW carries oxygen for both baby and mom (maybe even for panicked dads?). She knows First Aid and CPR. She brings pitocin to births in case mom bleeds too much or needs help getting her uterus to clamp down and expel the placenta after baby is born. She is a qualified professional with a LOT of training and experience, and a part of that includes knowing when she needs to call for help. We live less than a mile from the hospital where Luca was born, and an ambulance could be to us in about 2 minutes if need be. About the only thing my MW cannot do that the OBs at the hospital CAN is perform a c-section or give me drugs for the pain.
Question:
What about all the normal things the hospital does? Eye ointment, shots, health checks, etc. Can your MW do those?
Answer:
I've sort of touched on this a few times before, but the answer is yes, if we wish. The big difference here between a home and a hospital birth is that we as the parents can decide what things to have done and what to decline, with full knowledge of the pros and cons, no on-the-spot pressure, and no judgment on our decisions. So, we won't get the eye ointment, we will get the Vitamin K injection and the newborn screening (required by the state anyhow), baby will be weighed and measured....and all this will be done (I hope!) while I lounge in a robe at home in bed.
Question:
Will Luca be there for the birth?
Answer:
It depends. If I go into labor while she's sleeping at night, we'll leave her in bed. If she's awake or wakes up, we'll play it by ear. It's really dependent upon whether I am comfortable with her there, whether H can help me while keeping an eye on her, and what her reaction is to the whole thing. We don't want to exclude her, but we also don't want to scare her, so if we think she'd be better off playing with one of her Grandmas or uncles or a friend, we've got backups on call.
Question:
Who 'catches' the baby?
Answer:
We plan to play it by ear. My MW is more than happy to step back and let Darrick or me do it if all is going well with the birth. I can't predict who will actually end up doing it.
Question:
Who will announce Andre's sex?
Answer:
My MW has told us she doesn't even look unless we ask her to. I'm hoping Darrick will announce it, but this is another thing we can't actually predict for sure in advance.
That's it for now! If you have other questions you want to see answered, feel free to comment here.
Question:
How do you keep the water in the birth tub warm?
Answer:
I'm not really sure how this will work in real life, but in my imagination, it's not so hard. I do not plan to fill and get into the birth tub until I am sure I am in active labor (my MW suggests about 5 cm, but does not demand I get checked to prove I am 5 cm first or anything). Our water heater will be turned up so the tub fills very hot. I'll get in and relax.
The water is actually NOT intended to be 'hot' when baby is born in it. It should be close to mom's normal body temperature of 98.6, so ideally by the time baby is born into the water, it will have cooled down to about that temperature. And many moms who've birthed in water say you won't WANT it really hot anyhow, since labor raises your core body temp and too-hot water = too-hot mom. Now, should the water need heating, we can boil some on the stove and add it in, or siphon some out and add more in straight from the tap.
Question:
What do you do with the water when you're done birthing and the pool needs to be emptied?
Answer:
You siphon the water out. You can use a hose to siphon it into the yard, sink, or tub.
Question:
Does the birth pool have stirrups?
Answer:
No. Stirrups are not needed, as mom pushes in whatever position is comfortable for her. Stirrups are only used in labor to get mom in a position that's convenient for the OB or MW attending, and that position can lead to worse tearing or...episiotomies. Which leads ME to....
Question:
What if you need an episiotomy?
Answer:
Episiotomies are very rare, if not non-existent, in home births. I am not even sure if my MW brings the right....tools....to do one. I never asked, as I don't plan on needing one done. She tells me very few of her moms tear at all because they direct the pushing themselves and, in water, the tissues have time to soften enough that there's usually no tearing. What tears she DOES see usually don't even need stitches.
Question:
What about the mess?
Answer:
Most of the 'mess' will be contained in the birth pool. We also have 'drop cloths' of sorts to lay on the floor and bed, and the MW and her apprentice do a cleaning of the house after baby is born, including throwing soiled linens in the wash.
Question:
So about this 'mess' in the pool...isn't it kind of gross and unsanitary to float around with your placenta?
Answer:
I don't plan on bobbing for placenta, if that's what you mean. There will probably be some amniotic fluid and blood (and possible 'debris'...please see fish net post below) in the pool at some point. But the fact is...this is all stuff (ok...maybe not the 'debris') baby is being exposed to in the womb, and is no less safe for baby to be exposed to OUTSIDE the womb. I don't expect it to be a lot, and usually the blood comes after the baby, so it's not like I'll be swimming in it for 10 hours of labor. Also, the placenta is typically delivered outside of the pool, on dry land, so there will be no floating with that either.
Question:
What if baby needs oxygen or CPR? What if mom needs oxygen or bleeds too much? Can the MW handle this?
Answer:
We bought this jar of stuff called Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic. You just open the lid, and out comes a magical fairy to sprinkle Rainbow Puppy Unicorn Magic around the room, and all is better. And the bonus is, labor doesn't hurt and AIDS is cured and there is world peace.
Ok, but seriously, people. I do appreciate the concern and curiosity, but we didn't get out MW out of the back of the New Times. We didn't pick her just because she has horses and Luca likes going to see them (though she does, and Luca does). We interviewed 3 potential MWs and asked a ton of questions. Naturally we asked about emergency medical situations and how they are handled. My MW carries oxygen for both baby and mom (maybe even for panicked dads?). She knows First Aid and CPR. She brings pitocin to births in case mom bleeds too much or needs help getting her uterus to clamp down and expel the placenta after baby is born. She is a qualified professional with a LOT of training and experience, and a part of that includes knowing when she needs to call for help. We live less than a mile from the hospital where Luca was born, and an ambulance could be to us in about 2 minutes if need be. About the only thing my MW cannot do that the OBs at the hospital CAN is perform a c-section or give me drugs for the pain.
Question:
What about all the normal things the hospital does? Eye ointment, shots, health checks, etc. Can your MW do those?
Answer:
I've sort of touched on this a few times before, but the answer is yes, if we wish. The big difference here between a home and a hospital birth is that we as the parents can decide what things to have done and what to decline, with full knowledge of the pros and cons, no on-the-spot pressure, and no judgment on our decisions. So, we won't get the eye ointment, we will get the Vitamin K injection and the newborn screening (required by the state anyhow), baby will be weighed and measured....and all this will be done (I hope!) while I lounge in a robe at home in bed.
Question:
Will Luca be there for the birth?
Answer:
It depends. If I go into labor while she's sleeping at night, we'll leave her in bed. If she's awake or wakes up, we'll play it by ear. It's really dependent upon whether I am comfortable with her there, whether H can help me while keeping an eye on her, and what her reaction is to the whole thing. We don't want to exclude her, but we also don't want to scare her, so if we think she'd be better off playing with one of her Grandmas or uncles or a friend, we've got backups on call.
Question:
Who 'catches' the baby?
Answer:
We plan to play it by ear. My MW is more than happy to step back and let Darrick or me do it if all is going well with the birth. I can't predict who will actually end up doing it.
Question:
Who will announce Andre's sex?
Answer:
My MW has told us she doesn't even look unless we ask her to. I'm hoping Darrick will announce it, but this is another thing we can't actually predict for sure in advance.
That's it for now! If you have other questions you want to see answered, feel free to comment here.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Are We There Yet?
Another Midwife appointment, and YES I am stillllllll pregnant. I expected my appointment this morning to be rather uneventful since I am so close to the end. But I was wrong!
First off, all the 'usual' stuff was fine. My blood pressure was great, no real swelling, measuring a week ahead still, etc. But then we got to the part of the exam where my MW and her apprentice palpate my belly from the outside to see if they can determine baby's position. This is important for a lot of reasons, but primarily because it's illegal in AZ for a MW to deliver a breech baby at home. Well, when listening for baby's heartbeat, it was stronger on my left side, but its position was consistent with a transverse baby, which would be almost impossible to deliver at home, since almost all transvese babies end up in c-sections. Add that to the fact that my MW's apprentice couldn't tell for sure where baby's head was, and my MW started to be a little concerned. She came over to palpate my belly, and said she thought baby was head down, but typically baby's head can be moved some at this point, and she wasn't able to move it much at all. All this together led her to wonder if baby could be frank breech, meaning I'd feel kicks up high because both baby's feet AND head are up top, and the bum is at the bottom. Here's a picture of what a frank breech baby looks like:
Now, most texts consider this kind of breech to be the most favorable for avoiding a c-section, but most texts don't practice obstetrics in Arizona. According to my MW, there are few OBs who are willing to 'allow' a vaginal delivery of a breech baby, no matter its position. And, as I stated above, homebirth MWs are not allowed by law to deliver a known breech.
So, with all this in mind, I had some decisions to make. There are really only 2 ways to know if a baby is breech. The most obvious is via ultrasound, but the other way is to have an internal exam to see if she can feel whether it's a head or a bum presenting.
I was avoiding internals, as I think I've mentioned before, primarly because they don't really tell you anything useful, and I was afraid having one would lead to frustration. But in this case, I really felt like it was the least invasive way to get some answers. When I asked what would happen if baby IS breech at this point in pregnancy, I was given 3 basic options:
1. I'd transfer care immediately to an OB and schedule a c-section.
2. I could attempt an external version, which could work, but may not.
3. I could opt not to find out, in which case I could attempt to deliver at home, but if baby presented as breech my MW would be breaking all sorts of rules to attend to me.
Thankfully, baby 'Andre' IS head-down, and I am 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. The dilation and effacement mean little to nothing, really, except that it's more than I had at this point in pregnancy with Luca, and she was born right on time. But being head-down is EXCELLENT news!
I go back on Wednesday for a check-up, presuming we have not yet been graced with baby's presence.
In related news, I had reflexology done today as well. Reflexology is rumored to help encourage contractions and kickstart labor if the body is ready, and I found a place running a special which was $30 for 60 minutes. Let me tell you....best $30 I've spent in a loooooong time! I was a little uncertain at first because it was a man doing the reflexology, but you stay fully clothed and sit in a reclining chair, so I got over that pretty quickly. He started with my head, scalp, neck, and shoulders, then moved onto my arms and hands. Oh lord do I love an arm and hand massage. PURE heaven.
After that, he moved to my feet and calves. It was relaxing...SO much so that I drifted in and out of a light sleep at a few points, which I am never able to do during a massage.
So far, no contractions have come out of it, but if nothing else I sure am relaxed.
First off, all the 'usual' stuff was fine. My blood pressure was great, no real swelling, measuring a week ahead still, etc. But then we got to the part of the exam where my MW and her apprentice palpate my belly from the outside to see if they can determine baby's position. This is important for a lot of reasons, but primarily because it's illegal in AZ for a MW to deliver a breech baby at home. Well, when listening for baby's heartbeat, it was stronger on my left side, but its position was consistent with a transverse baby, which would be almost impossible to deliver at home, since almost all transvese babies end up in c-sections. Add that to the fact that my MW's apprentice couldn't tell for sure where baby's head was, and my MW started to be a little concerned. She came over to palpate my belly, and said she thought baby was head down, but typically baby's head can be moved some at this point, and she wasn't able to move it much at all. All this together led her to wonder if baby could be frank breech, meaning I'd feel kicks up high because both baby's feet AND head are up top, and the bum is at the bottom. Here's a picture of what a frank breech baby looks like:
Now, most texts consider this kind of breech to be the most favorable for avoiding a c-section, but most texts don't practice obstetrics in Arizona. According to my MW, there are few OBs who are willing to 'allow' a vaginal delivery of a breech baby, no matter its position. And, as I stated above, homebirth MWs are not allowed by law to deliver a known breech.
So, with all this in mind, I had some decisions to make. There are really only 2 ways to know if a baby is breech. The most obvious is via ultrasound, but the other way is to have an internal exam to see if she can feel whether it's a head or a bum presenting.
I was avoiding internals, as I think I've mentioned before, primarly because they don't really tell you anything useful, and I was afraid having one would lead to frustration. But in this case, I really felt like it was the least invasive way to get some answers. When I asked what would happen if baby IS breech at this point in pregnancy, I was given 3 basic options:
1. I'd transfer care immediately to an OB and schedule a c-section.
2. I could attempt an external version, which could work, but may not.
3. I could opt not to find out, in which case I could attempt to deliver at home, but if baby presented as breech my MW would be breaking all sorts of rules to attend to me.
Thankfully, baby 'Andre' IS head-down, and I am 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. The dilation and effacement mean little to nothing, really, except that it's more than I had at this point in pregnancy with Luca, and she was born right on time. But being head-down is EXCELLENT news!
I go back on Wednesday for a check-up, presuming we have not yet been graced with baby's presence.
In related news, I had reflexology done today as well. Reflexology is rumored to help encourage contractions and kickstart labor if the body is ready, and I found a place running a special which was $30 for 60 minutes. Let me tell you....best $30 I've spent in a loooooong time! I was a little uncertain at first because it was a man doing the reflexology, but you stay fully clothed and sit in a reclining chair, so I got over that pretty quickly. He started with my head, scalp, neck, and shoulders, then moved onto my arms and hands. Oh lord do I love an arm and hand massage. PURE heaven.
After that, he moved to my feet and calves. It was relaxing...SO much so that I drifted in and out of a light sleep at a few points, which I am never able to do during a massage.
So far, no contractions have come out of it, but if nothing else I sure am relaxed.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
37 Week 6 Day Appointment.
We saw our MW again this morning for my almost 38-week appointment. All the regular stuff is going well (HB in 140s, measuring a week ahead again, baby lower than last week, no swelling to speak of, weight gain ok) and I'm finally at the point where my MW says things like, "We'll need to see you in a week, of baby doesn't come sooner." EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeek!
We talked about quite a few interesting things today. I asked her about my indigestion issues, which have been getting worse over the past month or so. She wanted to know if it was tied to eating spicy foods, and I explained it's tried to eating ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, including plain bagels and baby carrots. She advised me to stop eating 2 hours before bed, avoid spicy foods, and try papaya enzyme instead of Zantac (Zantac works fine, but I'd prefer something more natural). She also assured me that indigestion is actually a GOOD sign, since it means that my smoooth muscle tracts are softening, which we WANT to happen before I go into labor.
I also mentioned that I had purchased some Evening Primrose Oil, but I wanted to check with her before I started to use it since I didn't want to use it too early. Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) is a gelcap you can take orally 2-3 times per day, and at the end of pregnancy you can also...ahem...insert it to soften the cervix. I'll start taking it (orally, thanks for asking) this week. She assured me it's not going to throw me into labor before I am ready, but that it will help prepare my cervix for an easier time dilating.
We talked a bit about a birth plan, and whether we had any special requests or labor or delivery. Standard HBs usually include delayed cord clamping, as few interventions as possible, and a hands-off approach by the MW and her apprentice. She asked if I plan to catch my own baby, have Darrick do it, or have her do it, and I asked if we could play it by ear. I'm not sure once I'm in labor how I will feel about it. Darrick is open to the possibility of catching the baby, but we're not going to lock ourselves into one thing or another until the moment comes. We talked about who will announce baby's sex, and we're still undecided about whether it will be Darrick or me, or whether we want the MW to announce it so we find out at the same time. Darrick and I will decide that sometime before baby gets here. In my head, I always imagined him announcing it, but we'll see. We talked about a back-up plan if we need to transfer. We'll go to the hospital I had Luca at (it's less than a mile away) and use whoever is on call. I had always assumed that I would only transfer if there was an emergency and it would end in a c-section, but she said most of her transfers are first time moms who cannot handle the pain or get exhausted. I don't plan on transferring for those reasons...here's hoping I am right!
Last, we talked about whether to do the eye ointment and Vitamin K injections at birth. Both are done standard in hospital births, though you can decline them. The ointment is an antibiotic intended to prevent mom from passing infections to baby as he/she is born. Since the infections it protects against (gonorrhea and chlamydia) are things I don't have, we are declining the ointment. Vitamin K is given to protect baby from birth-related traumas and some disorders that are not always known at birth but could be life-threatening. VitK helps with blood coagulation, bone metabolism, and vascular biology, and most babies will be fine without the injection but there is no way to predict whether or not a baby will have problems without the injection. We're playing it safe and getting the injection, since there's no way to predict for certain if baby will have a deficiency, and the outcomes if he/she does and we decline it at birth could be very bad.
My next appointment is this coming Friday, assuming I make it that far. :)
We talked about quite a few interesting things today. I asked her about my indigestion issues, which have been getting worse over the past month or so. She wanted to know if it was tied to eating spicy foods, and I explained it's tried to eating ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, including plain bagels and baby carrots. She advised me to stop eating 2 hours before bed, avoid spicy foods, and try papaya enzyme instead of Zantac (Zantac works fine, but I'd prefer something more natural). She also assured me that indigestion is actually a GOOD sign, since it means that my smoooth muscle tracts are softening, which we WANT to happen before I go into labor.
I also mentioned that I had purchased some Evening Primrose Oil, but I wanted to check with her before I started to use it since I didn't want to use it too early. Evening Primrose Oil (EPO) is a gelcap you can take orally 2-3 times per day, and at the end of pregnancy you can also...ahem...insert it to soften the cervix. I'll start taking it (orally, thanks for asking) this week. She assured me it's not going to throw me into labor before I am ready, but that it will help prepare my cervix for an easier time dilating.
We talked a bit about a birth plan, and whether we had any special requests or labor or delivery. Standard HBs usually include delayed cord clamping, as few interventions as possible, and a hands-off approach by the MW and her apprentice. She asked if I plan to catch my own baby, have Darrick do it, or have her do it, and I asked if we could play it by ear. I'm not sure once I'm in labor how I will feel about it. Darrick is open to the possibility of catching the baby, but we're not going to lock ourselves into one thing or another until the moment comes. We talked about who will announce baby's sex, and we're still undecided about whether it will be Darrick or me, or whether we want the MW to announce it so we find out at the same time. Darrick and I will decide that sometime before baby gets here. In my head, I always imagined him announcing it, but we'll see. We talked about a back-up plan if we need to transfer. We'll go to the hospital I had Luca at (it's less than a mile away) and use whoever is on call. I had always assumed that I would only transfer if there was an emergency and it would end in a c-section, but she said most of her transfers are first time moms who cannot handle the pain or get exhausted. I don't plan on transferring for those reasons...here's hoping I am right!
Last, we talked about whether to do the eye ointment and Vitamin K injections at birth. Both are done standard in hospital births, though you can decline them. The ointment is an antibiotic intended to prevent mom from passing infections to baby as he/she is born. Since the infections it protects against (gonorrhea and chlamydia) are things I don't have, we are declining the ointment. Vitamin K is given to protect baby from birth-related traumas and some disorders that are not always known at birth but could be life-threatening. VitK helps with blood coagulation, bone metabolism, and vascular biology, and most babies will be fine without the injection but there is no way to predict whether or not a baby will have problems without the injection. We're playing it safe and getting the injection, since there's no way to predict for certain if baby will have a deficiency, and the outcomes if he/she does and we decline it at birth could be very bad.
My next appointment is this coming Friday, assuming I make it that far. :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Several Updates.
I've been a lazy blogger, so this will be several updates all at once.
Update 1: 37 weeks pregnant? Yes. 37 weeks pregnant.
I had my 37 week appointment this past Saturday, and this was our home visit. Our midwife comes to our house for a few reasons. First and foremost, she has to be sure it's a safe dwelling for delivering a baby, which really means a roof over the head and reasonably clean. Darrick and I spent quite a bit of time over the past few weeks cleaning our house and getting ready to welcome a baby into it, and I'll openly admit I wanted it to look nice for her visit. No one wants their house to be a mess the first time someone sees it, right? Well...not always right. See, at our LAST appointment, Darrick asked MW why she does the home visit, and she told us the story of the ONE home she visited that was not suitable for a birth. Apparently, it involved 20 cats, 5 men and 1 woman, dirty underwear on the floor, and filth everywhere. Amazingly, hearing this story took some pressure off my need to have a perfectly clean home for her visit, as she assured me that as long as the bongs were stashed away out of site and the dog poop was relegated to ONE room, we'd be fine. :::phew:::
So anyhow, the other main reason our MW makes a home visit is to be sure she knows where we live. Picture going into labor at 3 a.m. and your midwife not being able to find your house. NOT something I want to have happen to me. She also wanted to check to be sure we had all the supplies we need (see previous post...and we do now, thanks to my mom who donated paper bags and old beach towels to 'The Cause'). Of course, the appointment included most of the standard appointment procedures as well (heartrate is in 150s, my belly measured at 36 weeks, baby is head down with back to my left in ideal positioning). I also pointed out my ankle swelling to her (apparently Andre dropped this past week, as it appeared on Thursday when I'd had NONE before) and she giggled at me. Her response was something to the effect of 'You call THAT swelling? That is NOT swelling!', but anyone who's familiar with the Barbie-like proportions of my ankles (too bad the REST of me did not follow suit) will realize that swelling to ME is different than it is to the rest of the civilized world. We talked a little about my labor fear (I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say when I read birth stories involving the word 'bulge' they make my skin crawl), as well as when in labor we need to contact her. All in all, a good if relatively uneventful appointment. I declined having a check done for progress (again, if you don't know what I am referring to, you should probably just consider yourself lucky) because I consider it a lose-lose prospect. I figure if I'm not dilating yet, I'll be sad that means these pains I've been having are for naught. And if I AM dilating, I'll spend from now till labor worrying when it's going to happen and if my water will break in public and and and and....
Our next appointment is this coming Saturday, assuming I make it that far. I'm feeling like baby will be here sometime after March 1st but before my expected due date of March 14th. Darrick is convinced Andre is making a timely arrival like his/her older sister did. I call that wishful thinking on his part, and I love him for his optimism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 2: Sausage?
I'm sort of embarassed to admit this, because I tend to shun fast food in general, and overall I'm a fairly healthy eater, assuming that when one says 'overall' one is allowing some leeway for excess desserts consumed in pregnancy.
That being said, Darrick has created this 'routine' of sorts on the weekend. He takes Luca to Mc Donald's, where they share a Sausage Egg McMuffin (well, and Darrick gets another just for him, but the point is Lu can't eat the whole thing, so their routine is sharing one). While I tried to appreciate the cute Daddy-Daughterness of this little weekend routine (and it really is their routine, because although I sometimes go with, they WILL go without me if I opt out), I knew we had created a monster when, a few weeks ago on our way to the zoo, we pulled into the McD's parking lot, and Luca's eyes lit up. Her little hand shot into the air, pointing at the golden arches, and she exclaimed, "SAUSAGE!!!".
Yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 3: Meh...it'll come later. I am suddenly bored with blogging for now.
Update 1: 37 weeks pregnant? Yes. 37 weeks pregnant.
I had my 37 week appointment this past Saturday, and this was our home visit. Our midwife comes to our house for a few reasons. First and foremost, she has to be sure it's a safe dwelling for delivering a baby, which really means a roof over the head and reasonably clean. Darrick and I spent quite a bit of time over the past few weeks cleaning our house and getting ready to welcome a baby into it, and I'll openly admit I wanted it to look nice for her visit. No one wants their house to be a mess the first time someone sees it, right? Well...not always right. See, at our LAST appointment, Darrick asked MW why she does the home visit, and she told us the story of the ONE home she visited that was not suitable for a birth. Apparently, it involved 20 cats, 5 men and 1 woman, dirty underwear on the floor, and filth everywhere. Amazingly, hearing this story took some pressure off my need to have a perfectly clean home for her visit, as she assured me that as long as the bongs were stashed away out of site and the dog poop was relegated to ONE room, we'd be fine. :::phew:::
So anyhow, the other main reason our MW makes a home visit is to be sure she knows where we live. Picture going into labor at 3 a.m. and your midwife not being able to find your house. NOT something I want to have happen to me. She also wanted to check to be sure we had all the supplies we need (see previous post...and we do now, thanks to my mom who donated paper bags and old beach towels to 'The Cause'). Of course, the appointment included most of the standard appointment procedures as well (heartrate is in 150s, my belly measured at 36 weeks, baby is head down with back to my left in ideal positioning). I also pointed out my ankle swelling to her (apparently Andre dropped this past week, as it appeared on Thursday when I'd had NONE before) and she giggled at me. Her response was something to the effect of 'You call THAT swelling? That is NOT swelling!', but anyone who's familiar with the Barbie-like proportions of my ankles (too bad the REST of me did not follow suit) will realize that swelling to ME is different than it is to the rest of the civilized world. We talked a little about my labor fear (I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say when I read birth stories involving the word 'bulge' they make my skin crawl), as well as when in labor we need to contact her. All in all, a good if relatively uneventful appointment. I declined having a check done for progress (again, if you don't know what I am referring to, you should probably just consider yourself lucky) because I consider it a lose-lose prospect. I figure if I'm not dilating yet, I'll be sad that means these pains I've been having are for naught. And if I AM dilating, I'll spend from now till labor worrying when it's going to happen and if my water will break in public and and and and....
Our next appointment is this coming Saturday, assuming I make it that far. I'm feeling like baby will be here sometime after March 1st but before my expected due date of March 14th. Darrick is convinced Andre is making a timely arrival like his/her older sister did. I call that wishful thinking on his part, and I love him for his optimism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 2: Sausage?
I'm sort of embarassed to admit this, because I tend to shun fast food in general, and overall I'm a fairly healthy eater, assuming that when one says 'overall' one is allowing some leeway for excess desserts consumed in pregnancy.
That being said, Darrick has created this 'routine' of sorts on the weekend. He takes Luca to Mc Donald's, where they share a Sausage Egg McMuffin (well, and Darrick gets another just for him, but the point is Lu can't eat the whole thing, so their routine is sharing one). While I tried to appreciate the cute Daddy-Daughterness of this little weekend routine (and it really is their routine, because although I sometimes go with, they WILL go without me if I opt out), I knew we had created a monster when, a few weeks ago on our way to the zoo, we pulled into the McD's parking lot, and Luca's eyes lit up. Her little hand shot into the air, pointing at the golden arches, and she exclaimed, "SAUSAGE!!!".
Yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update 3: Meh...it'll come later. I am suddenly bored with blogging for now.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Prepping for a Homebirth
I get a lot of questions from friends about our homebirth, and I make an effort to address at least some of them here. If nothing else, for posterity's sake. Several of my friends have asked me questions about what we buy and what our midwife provides us to prep for the homebirth. So I'm going to address that here, after I give a little rundown off our last appointment.
I'm 35 weeks now, and yesterday we met with my MW and her apprentice again. The normal stuff (blood pressure, weight gain, baby's heartrate, pee strip) was checked and just fine. She measured me and I am about 1-2 cm ahead again, which has been consistent all pregnancy. She felt baby's body, and little (big?) Andre is head down. She said Andre does not feel exceptionally big, but again she won't be surprised if he/she is a long baby.
We talked about circumcision should Andre be a boy, and she discussed some of the pros and cons, and provided us with a referral to a Mohel. We decided that if we do have a boy AND we do circumcize, we will go this route as we're more comfortable having the procedure done by someone who specializes in it than by a pediatrician who may or may not be so skilled.
We also discussed the placenta. A lot of people have asked me what we will do with it. Many homebirthers consume their placenta (placentas are packed with nutrients and believed to be the #1 most effective means of preventing post partum depression), but this is not in the cards for me. I mean, crap, I won't even eat steak so can you see me eating my own placenta? Lots of homebirthers also have their placenta freeze-dried and made into a powder, which can then go into a capsule to be taken after birth. We don't plan on doing that either. She suggested either burying it under a plant in our yard (or, perhaps, the yards of one of the grandparents) or providing a gallon storage bag to put it in, and she will dispose of it. For those wondering...yes...this means it goes in the big black dumpster on the curb for trash pick up day.
I have the option (just as any pregnant woman in AZ does, though many errantly believe they don't have a choice) to decide whether we get the Vitamin K shot for baby after he/she is born (my MW also suggests looking into the all natural VitK drops, since the synthetic shot may or may not be best for us) as well as whether to get the antibiotic eye ointment. If you're a pregnant woman who wants more info on these 'standard' procedures (as they still are in most of the USA anyhow), I'd suggest you talk to your OB or MW about them, and do some independent research to decide what's best for your baby and your family.
She talked about our home visit, which happens next time, at 37 weeks. She does this visit in part so she can be sure she's able to find our house when it's labor time. She also does it so she can check the conditions of the house and be sure it's a safe place to birth. We joked we'd hide our AK47s and porn for her visit. (And, silently, I started wondering if it's possible I only have 2 weeks left to get this house clean enough that I'm ready for her to come see it AND for me to birth here). So the countdown's on and I'm going to have to spend some time getting this place in order and ready over the next 2 weeks. Anyone have a good housecleaner? ;)
Last, she provided us with our birth kit. This much anticipated kit has many of the items we'll need for the labor and delivery. In addition to it, we have a list of items we're responsible for providing. Chief among the things we had to provide is the birthing tub. We actually bought this off some friends who'd planned to use it for their birth and ended up not doing so. Just to test it out, Darrick opened the box and set it up the other day. As you can see, Luca thinks it's pretty cool.
We also need to provide things like sheets and towels (we'll probably get some cheap ones so we don't mind throwing them away if they get ruined), food and drinks for us, clothes for baby and me (I found a fabulous soft robe for $3.74 at Target, which should be wonderful for when I get out of the tub), bowls for water, washcloths, receiving blankets, and a few other miscellaneous items.
The kit she provided us with contains the other essentials, which I took some pictures of to show here (you're welcome, Elizabeth and Sarah).
First, an herbal tea which is steeped and used in a post-partum bath to relax mom and help her heal:
That can also be added to every new mom's BFF, the peri bottle. If you've never seen or used a peri bottle, it's simply a bottle used by a new mom to keep herself clean when she is recovering from birth. If you need to ask WHERE the water goes, consider yourself lucky that you don't know and consult Google. Also shown in this picture is a pair of oh-so-sexy mesh undies (I realize they look like a square of fabric, not undies, but trust me here). Every woman who's pregnant with her first is all, "Ew. Mesh? Undies? You're kidding, right?", and every woman who's ever been on the other side and enjoyed the miracle that IS mesh undies is all, "Oooooooh! Mesh undies!! Can I wear them ALL the time?":
For mom during labor, there are bendy drinking straws included. I hear these are like slices of heaven, since homebirth moms are encouraged to drink to thirst (Gatorade was on my list of to-purchase items), and having a staw can make that easier.
For after the baby's born, we have glamorous post-partum pads (9 months of no period HAS to be made up for sometime), an umbilical clamp, and a t-shirt and hat (oh my GOSH how tiny and cute and perfect and utterly drooooolable is that hat?!?!?!). I folded the shirt so you can't see the name of my MW's practice, just because I didn't ask her ok to include it here.
The kit also comes with a tape measure, regular chux pads and one large chux pad (again, if you don't know, consider yourself lucky), lots and lots of gloves for the midwife, a gauze pad, some alcohol swabs, a surgical scrub brush for the MW to use to clean her hands and arms, a nasal aspirator bulb, and giant post-partum pads. I didn't include pictures of those items as they aren't really that interesting. But suffice it to say if anyone was planning on bleeding to death at my house anytime in the next 5 or so weeks, I've got enough pads and soakers to prevent a hemmorage.
And speaking of hemmorages, I do get questions sometimes about what emergency supplies my MW brings to the birth. Chief among them, she provides oxygen, pitocin (in case the uterus is not contracting enough on its own post-baby and needs some help doing so...this helps get the placenta out and prevents excessive bleeding), a first aid kit, and many many years of training. We're about 2 minutes from the hospital (I don't exaggerate) should an emergency arise.
And lest anyone think this is some sort of underground, backwoods secret transaction my MW and I are completing, she is required to keep documentation of the labor, delivery, and post-partum recovery just like an OB or a hospital-based midwife would be. Included in the kit was paperwork for my records, information on newborn screenings, a certificate to get baby's footprints, and a form to get baby's birth certificate and social security card.
Oh, and last but not least, since one friend of mine is VERY curious about disposing of things that might be a biohazard in 'the black dumpster at the curb', this bag was in the birth kit, so any biohazards can be properly disposed of.
I'm 35 weeks now, and yesterday we met with my MW and her apprentice again. The normal stuff (blood pressure, weight gain, baby's heartrate, pee strip) was checked and just fine. She measured me and I am about 1-2 cm ahead again, which has been consistent all pregnancy. She felt baby's body, and little (big?) Andre is head down. She said Andre does not feel exceptionally big, but again she won't be surprised if he/she is a long baby.
We talked about circumcision should Andre be a boy, and she discussed some of the pros and cons, and provided us with a referral to a Mohel. We decided that if we do have a boy AND we do circumcize, we will go this route as we're more comfortable having the procedure done by someone who specializes in it than by a pediatrician who may or may not be so skilled.
We also discussed the placenta. A lot of people have asked me what we will do with it. Many homebirthers consume their placenta (placentas are packed with nutrients and believed to be the #1 most effective means of preventing post partum depression), but this is not in the cards for me. I mean, crap, I won't even eat steak so can you see me eating my own placenta? Lots of homebirthers also have their placenta freeze-dried and made into a powder, which can then go into a capsule to be taken after birth. We don't plan on doing that either. She suggested either burying it under a plant in our yard (or, perhaps, the yards of one of the grandparents) or providing a gallon storage bag to put it in, and she will dispose of it. For those wondering...yes...this means it goes in the big black dumpster on the curb for trash pick up day.
I have the option (just as any pregnant woman in AZ does, though many errantly believe they don't have a choice) to decide whether we get the Vitamin K shot for baby after he/she is born (my MW also suggests looking into the all natural VitK drops, since the synthetic shot may or may not be best for us) as well as whether to get the antibiotic eye ointment. If you're a pregnant woman who wants more info on these 'standard' procedures (as they still are in most of the USA anyhow), I'd suggest you talk to your OB or MW about them, and do some independent research to decide what's best for your baby and your family.
She talked about our home visit, which happens next time, at 37 weeks. She does this visit in part so she can be sure she's able to find our house when it's labor time. She also does it so she can check the conditions of the house and be sure it's a safe place to birth. We joked we'd hide our AK47s and porn for her visit. (And, silently, I started wondering if it's possible I only have 2 weeks left to get this house clean enough that I'm ready for her to come see it AND for me to birth here). So the countdown's on and I'm going to have to spend some time getting this place in order and ready over the next 2 weeks. Anyone have a good housecleaner? ;)
Last, she provided us with our birth kit. This much anticipated kit has many of the items we'll need for the labor and delivery. In addition to it, we have a list of items we're responsible for providing. Chief among the things we had to provide is the birthing tub. We actually bought this off some friends who'd planned to use it for their birth and ended up not doing so. Just to test it out, Darrick opened the box and set it up the other day. As you can see, Luca thinks it's pretty cool.
We also need to provide things like sheets and towels (we'll probably get some cheap ones so we don't mind throwing them away if they get ruined), food and drinks for us, clothes for baby and me (I found a fabulous soft robe for $3.74 at Target, which should be wonderful for when I get out of the tub), bowls for water, washcloths, receiving blankets, and a few other miscellaneous items.
The kit she provided us with contains the other essentials, which I took some pictures of to show here (you're welcome, Elizabeth and Sarah).
First, an herbal tea which is steeped and used in a post-partum bath to relax mom and help her heal:
That can also be added to every new mom's BFF, the peri bottle. If you've never seen or used a peri bottle, it's simply a bottle used by a new mom to keep herself clean when she is recovering from birth. If you need to ask WHERE the water goes, consider yourself lucky that you don't know and consult Google. Also shown in this picture is a pair of oh-so-sexy mesh undies (I realize they look like a square of fabric, not undies, but trust me here). Every woman who's pregnant with her first is all, "Ew. Mesh? Undies? You're kidding, right?", and every woman who's ever been on the other side and enjoyed the miracle that IS mesh undies is all, "Oooooooh! Mesh undies!! Can I wear them ALL the time?":
For mom during labor, there are bendy drinking straws included. I hear these are like slices of heaven, since homebirth moms are encouraged to drink to thirst (Gatorade was on my list of to-purchase items), and having a staw can make that easier.
For after the baby's born, we have glamorous post-partum pads (9 months of no period HAS to be made up for sometime), an umbilical clamp, and a t-shirt and hat (oh my GOSH how tiny and cute and perfect and utterly drooooolable is that hat?!?!?!). I folded the shirt so you can't see the name of my MW's practice, just because I didn't ask her ok to include it here.
The kit also comes with a tape measure, regular chux pads and one large chux pad (again, if you don't know, consider yourself lucky), lots and lots of gloves for the midwife, a gauze pad, some alcohol swabs, a surgical scrub brush for the MW to use to clean her hands and arms, a nasal aspirator bulb, and giant post-partum pads. I didn't include pictures of those items as they aren't really that interesting. But suffice it to say if anyone was planning on bleeding to death at my house anytime in the next 5 or so weeks, I've got enough pads and soakers to prevent a hemmorage.
And speaking of hemmorages, I do get questions sometimes about what emergency supplies my MW brings to the birth. Chief among them, she provides oxygen, pitocin (in case the uterus is not contracting enough on its own post-baby and needs some help doing so...this helps get the placenta out and prevents excessive bleeding), a first aid kit, and many many years of training. We're about 2 minutes from the hospital (I don't exaggerate) should an emergency arise.
And lest anyone think this is some sort of underground, backwoods secret transaction my MW and I are completing, she is required to keep documentation of the labor, delivery, and post-partum recovery just like an OB or a hospital-based midwife would be. Included in the kit was paperwork for my records, information on newborn screenings, a certificate to get baby's footprints, and a form to get baby's birth certificate and social security card.
Oh, and last but not least, since one friend of mine is VERY curious about disposing of things that might be a biohazard in 'the black dumpster at the curb', this bag was in the birth kit, so any biohazards can be properly disposed of.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Appointment time again!
Remember my post about the Belgian Waffle craving? And how I almost switched to the pancakes but decided to hold off on them until the morning of my next appointment? Because I needed to carb up prior to getting my blood drawn to check for Gestational Diabetes?
So, my day started off less than ideal. My appointment was at 9 today, which meant I needed to finish breeakfast by 8 am so my blood would be drawn at least 1 hour after eating. I loaded Luca into the car and decided to brave IHOP alone, in search of pancake nrivana. I had planned on a feast of lemon blueberry streusel pancakes, and IHOP no longer has them. Apparently I looked sad (and fat) enough, so the waitress went and asked if they had the batter still to see if she could whip me up an approximation of the dreamcakes, but to no avail. I opted for stuffed french toast...good, but not the same. Luca got an order of 2 sausage links (she LOVES sausage for breeakfast), which she took maybe 3 bites of before repeatedly telling me, "All done, mama." Over and over. And over. And did I mention repeatedly? And over and over again? Yeah. I thought so.
My appointment went well. Two of my Midwife's apprentices were there, so everyone got to measure the belly (a bit ahead at 32-33 cm), feel the baby (position is exactly as I expected, with head down in left hipbone and feet in right ribcage), listen to the HB (150s) and do my blood pressure reading (fine and dandy).
I told our MW we nicknamed the baby Andre the Giant, and she laughed. She asked how long Luca was (22.5 inches) and I told her my mom's 2nd was 24 inches long. She nodded, smiled, and said, "It wouldn't surprise me if yours is about that." Eeek! She DID tell me baby feels lean, and his/her head feels fairly small-average sized, which was good to hear.
She gave me the option to not step on the scale this week (what with the holidays and the stuffed french toast just consumed), but I did and everything is fine there. If, by fine you mean "Holy shit I am a beast of a whale of a beast! I never want to weigh this much ever again! Could you amputate an arm or something since dieting is verbotin in pregnancy?!?!". But, really, she was not worried so I tried to act casual as the absurdity of stepping on the scale and announcing my new, higher than ever weight to 3 women hit me. Never in my life would I do that, except in pregnancy. Then again, when else in life do I invite a kindly woman I scarcely know to come to my home and prod my netherlands? Yeah, the answer there is never. But I figure I'm already pregnant, so I may as well LIVE a litte!
My next appointment is in 2 weeks, and I get the birth kit. In it will be things like a footprint kit, cord clamp, chux pads (if you don't know, consider yourself lucky and move on), a peri bottle and herbs (again, don't ask...just keep skimming), and other essentials. Once I get a good look in there, I'll have some stocking up to do as I need to buy some towels and plastic sheets to protect our floor and bed, along with a few other things I'm sure. The appointment following that is at my house. Which means I better start doing some cleaning and organizing now, so that things are set for her visit and the birth that follows sometime in the next 2 months or so. Anytime after 36 weeks if I go into labor we're good to go.
Well...I should say anytime after 36 weeks, we are hypothetically good to go. But the closer I get to that day, the more I get scared by all the silly things. I'm not worried about something going wrong in labor or with the baby. I'm more worried about things like the pain of contractions...whether my dogs will spazz out...more contractions...how Darrick will react...did I mention contractions?...whether we will keep Luca here (I'd prefer to) or send her off with family (may be necessary)...transition contractions...whether the tub will really help me...crowning. I feel as if there is so much prep work yet to be done. It's mental (psyching myself up), emotional (dealing with adding another kid into the mix, Luca not being our 'only', the emotion of a new baby and postpartum hormonal wackiness), spiritual (not to get all new-agey, but hello? human life being created here!), and physical (human life not only being created, but also expelled from whence it came).
But it is also practical. How many towels do we need? Should the tub be downstairs where there is more light and room but less privacy and no toilet close by or upstairs in our room where it will be more crowded and I may hate having the permanent association of giving birth? Will we have enough hot water? Do we call our families early in labor or after baby comes? What kind of food will we want to eat in labor and after? If I invite Elizabeth over for stew later that week, will she be able to guess the secret ingredient is placenta (I KID, Elizabeth!! I KID!! We're making jerky instead...you like jerky, right?)? What will I wear in labor? Should I create a music playlist? And on...and on...and on. I think the practical distractions keep me from getting too worried over the pain of childbirth, but I am not entirely sure about that. I just know I have SO much to prepare, and it's coming up fast!!
So, my day started off less than ideal. My appointment was at 9 today, which meant I needed to finish breeakfast by 8 am so my blood would be drawn at least 1 hour after eating. I loaded Luca into the car and decided to brave IHOP alone, in search of pancake nrivana. I had planned on a feast of lemon blueberry streusel pancakes, and IHOP no longer has them. Apparently I looked sad (and fat) enough, so the waitress went and asked if they had the batter still to see if she could whip me up an approximation of the dreamcakes, but to no avail. I opted for stuffed french toast...good, but not the same. Luca got an order of 2 sausage links (she LOVES sausage for breeakfast), which she took maybe 3 bites of before repeatedly telling me, "All done, mama." Over and over. And over. And did I mention repeatedly? And over and over again? Yeah. I thought so.
My appointment went well. Two of my Midwife's apprentices were there, so everyone got to measure the belly (a bit ahead at 32-33 cm), feel the baby (position is exactly as I expected, with head down in left hipbone and feet in right ribcage), listen to the HB (150s) and do my blood pressure reading (fine and dandy).
I told our MW we nicknamed the baby Andre the Giant, and she laughed. She asked how long Luca was (22.5 inches) and I told her my mom's 2nd was 24 inches long. She nodded, smiled, and said, "It wouldn't surprise me if yours is about that." Eeek! She DID tell me baby feels lean, and his/her head feels fairly small-average sized, which was good to hear.
She gave me the option to not step on the scale this week (what with the holidays and the stuffed french toast just consumed), but I did and everything is fine there. If, by fine you mean "Holy shit I am a beast of a whale of a beast! I never want to weigh this much ever again! Could you amputate an arm or something since dieting is verbotin in pregnancy?!?!". But, really, she was not worried so I tried to act casual as the absurdity of stepping on the scale and announcing my new, higher than ever weight to 3 women hit me. Never in my life would I do that, except in pregnancy. Then again, when else in life do I invite a kindly woman I scarcely know to come to my home and prod my netherlands? Yeah, the answer there is never. But I figure I'm already pregnant, so I may as well LIVE a litte!
My next appointment is in 2 weeks, and I get the birth kit. In it will be things like a footprint kit, cord clamp, chux pads (if you don't know, consider yourself lucky and move on), a peri bottle and herbs (again, don't ask...just keep skimming), and other essentials. Once I get a good look in there, I'll have some stocking up to do as I need to buy some towels and plastic sheets to protect our floor and bed, along with a few other things I'm sure. The appointment following that is at my house. Which means I better start doing some cleaning and organizing now, so that things are set for her visit and the birth that follows sometime in the next 2 months or so. Anytime after 36 weeks if I go into labor we're good to go.
Well...I should say anytime after 36 weeks, we are hypothetically good to go. But the closer I get to that day, the more I get scared by all the silly things. I'm not worried about something going wrong in labor or with the baby. I'm more worried about things like the pain of contractions...whether my dogs will spazz out...more contractions...how Darrick will react...did I mention contractions?...whether we will keep Luca here (I'd prefer to) or send her off with family (may be necessary)...transition contractions...whether the tub will really help me...crowning. I feel as if there is so much prep work yet to be done. It's mental (psyching myself up), emotional (dealing with adding another kid into the mix, Luca not being our 'only', the emotion of a new baby and postpartum hormonal wackiness), spiritual (not to get all new-agey, but hello? human life being created here!), and physical (human life not only being created, but also expelled from whence it came).
But it is also practical. How many towels do we need? Should the tub be downstairs where there is more light and room but less privacy and no toilet close by or upstairs in our room where it will be more crowded and I may hate having the permanent association of giving birth? Will we have enough hot water? Do we call our families early in labor or after baby comes? What kind of food will we want to eat in labor and after? If I invite Elizabeth over for stew later that week, will she be able to guess the secret ingredient is placenta (I KID, Elizabeth!! I KID!! We're making jerky instead...you like jerky, right?)? What will I wear in labor? Should I create a music playlist? And on...and on...and on. I think the practical distractions keep me from getting too worried over the pain of childbirth, but I am not entirely sure about that. I just know I have SO much to prepare, and it's coming up fast!!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
25 Weeks, 6 Days.
Damn...I cannot believe I am so far along already. This pregnancy is flying by, but then at the same time when I realize I've spent half this year pregnant, it blows my mind.
Today was my regular monthly check-up with my MW, and things are going well. Baby is lying transverse (in other words, taking full advantage of my hammock hips and stretching out side to side), which she could tell immediately by placing her hands on the sides of my waist. In her words, "Baby must be transverse, because your belly is wide across here." Yeah, we'll go with that...I'm absolutely ok with blaming my wideness on the baby. ::wink wink::
Baby's heartrate was in the 150s, my uterus was measuring 27 cm (typically your uterus height is about 1 cm per week of gestation, but it's ok for it to vary up to a few cms either way as long as it continues to grow), and my blood pressure was a little low, but perrfectly ok. I have an anterior placenta (which means it's across the front of my body, between baby and my belly) which probably explains why I feel a lot less movement with this pregnancy that with the last. We talked a bit about nutrition and weight gain (both of which I am fine on, according to her, but I wouldn't be sad if the weight gain slowed a bit), and she predicted another long, lean baby for me. That makes sense, given Luca was long-ish at 22 inches and lean at 6 lbs, 7 oz. It also makes sense given my pregnancies seem to mirror my mom's to a large extent and my brother (her second) was 23 inches long at birth.
In other news, my next appointment is in January, and it'll be the test for Gestational Diabetes. Unlike an OB, she won't be sending me to a lab for the orange drink. Instead, she gave me the option of coming in for a blood draw two hours after eating any of the following:
- 18 large jelly beans
- a large candy bar
- a carb-loaded meal
I chose the carb-loaded meal, so I'll be having a guilt free heaping serving of pancakes or french toast early that morning and then getting my pancreas levels tested for signs of GD. Have I mentioned I love my midwife?
In other news, my options for natural childbirth classes were limited. I was debating between Bradley classes and Hypnobirthing, but in the end I won't be able to do either. Both classes are a series that takes place over 8 - 12 weeks, and because the holidays fall 3 months before I am due, there are none I can get into that would finish on time for me. I'd hate to invest 11 weeks and $300 just to miss the last class that may hold the most important information. So I opted instead to buy the book "Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method" which comes with a CDRom to listen to leading up to and during labor. I've started reading the book, and will begin listening to the CD this week. I'm also going to read the Bradley book because, well, why not? It can't hurt....right?
Today was my regular monthly check-up with my MW, and things are going well. Baby is lying transverse (in other words, taking full advantage of my hammock hips and stretching out side to side), which she could tell immediately by placing her hands on the sides of my waist. In her words, "Baby must be transverse, because your belly is wide across here." Yeah, we'll go with that...I'm absolutely ok with blaming my wideness on the baby. ::wink wink::
Baby's heartrate was in the 150s, my uterus was measuring 27 cm (typically your uterus height is about 1 cm per week of gestation, but it's ok for it to vary up to a few cms either way as long as it continues to grow), and my blood pressure was a little low, but perrfectly ok. I have an anterior placenta (which means it's across the front of my body, between baby and my belly) which probably explains why I feel a lot less movement with this pregnancy that with the last. We talked a bit about nutrition and weight gain (both of which I am fine on, according to her, but I wouldn't be sad if the weight gain slowed a bit), and she predicted another long, lean baby for me. That makes sense, given Luca was long-ish at 22 inches and lean at 6 lbs, 7 oz. It also makes sense given my pregnancies seem to mirror my mom's to a large extent and my brother (her second) was 23 inches long at birth.
In other news, my next appointment is in January, and it'll be the test for Gestational Diabetes. Unlike an OB, she won't be sending me to a lab for the orange drink. Instead, she gave me the option of coming in for a blood draw two hours after eating any of the following:
- 18 large jelly beans
- a large candy bar
- a carb-loaded meal
I chose the carb-loaded meal, so I'll be having a guilt free heaping serving of pancakes or french toast early that morning and then getting my pancreas levels tested for signs of GD. Have I mentioned I love my midwife?
In other news, my options for natural childbirth classes were limited. I was debating between Bradley classes and Hypnobirthing, but in the end I won't be able to do either. Both classes are a series that takes place over 8 - 12 weeks, and because the holidays fall 3 months before I am due, there are none I can get into that would finish on time for me. I'd hate to invest 11 weeks and $300 just to miss the last class that may hold the most important information. So I opted instead to buy the book "Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method" which comes with a CDRom to listen to leading up to and during labor. I've started reading the book, and will begin listening to the CD this week. I'm also going to read the Bradley book because, well, why not? It can't hurt....right?
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Some random updates.
I'm officially in my 5th month of pregnancy now. Holy shit...when did THAT happen?!?! I had an appointment with my MW last weekend. It was a busy day, so Darrick ended up staying home while Luca and I went. Everything is going well; weight gain is low but fine, blood pressure and all past bloodwork are normal, and baby Sprinkle seems to be growing just fine. Sprinkle's heart rate was 163, and he/she was moving like crazy when our MW put the doppler on to listen to the HR. We talked about whether or not we will get another ultrasound (most people have one between 18 and 22 weeks to check the baby's growth, location of the placenta, amniotic fluid levels, and baby's brain and vital organs). A lot of moms who homebirth skip u/s entirely, unless there's a medical indication one is needed (less fetal movement, trouble finding heart beat, growing too fast or slow, etc). However, my MW told me a good number of the moms she works with do the u/s around 20 weeks, both to see the baby and to find out the sex. Since we're not planning on finding out the sex and we had an u/s and pretty in-depth bloodwork at 13 weeks, she left it entirely up to us to decide whether to have another u/s done. We're leaning toward not having one...everything indicates both baby and I are healthy, growth is on target, and the previous u/s and bloodwork show us things are very likely to be just fine. It's a decision we still have time to make: the MW can give us a referral at any time for an u/s, so we have time to change our minds.
I sometimes get random questions from friends and family about what care under a HB midwife is like. One question I get is, "Do you have to pee in a cup?". Indeed, I do. The only real difference is that I pee in the cup, dip my own test strip in, dump the pee, and hand the strip off to my MW. My MW did give me shit for not eating or drinking enough that day (apparently those pee strips you do tell a LOT more than I knew), so I need to be more conscientious about my food and drink intake, especially when I get busy.
Another question I get is about whether I have to weigh in at every appointment. I do, but it's not as strict as most MW/OB practices. She has a normal bathroom scale, and I step on and report to her what it says. At my last appointment, I forgot to step on the scale, but she asked me about my weight gain and I told her what I'd gained, and she was happy with it. It's kind of nice to not have 'scale stress' at every appointment!
Also on the baby front, I am really feeling this baby move now. I've been feeling 'flutters' and 'bubbles' since I was about 12 weeks along, but now it's real movement I am feeling. I forgot how awesome this part of pregnancy is! It really drives home for me that I need to take more time to focus on myself and prepping for this birth.
In other news, Darrick underwent rotator cuff (shoulder) surgery on Tuesday of this week. Back in mid-August, he tore a ligament in a jiu-jitsu tournament, and he needed to have it repaired. He's on fall break right now, so he thought that would be the best time to do it. The surgery went really well, and the Dr was confident he'd recover quickly and fully. In the meantime, though, he's going to have to take it very easy and he's dealing with a significant amount of pain. It's been rough on him to have to get help with things like putting on a shirt, and Luca's had to learn that Daddy has an 'owie' and be gentle with him. But he's doing pretty great and I have no doubt he'll recover like a champ. :)
I sometimes get random questions from friends and family about what care under a HB midwife is like. One question I get is, "Do you have to pee in a cup?". Indeed, I do. The only real difference is that I pee in the cup, dip my own test strip in, dump the pee, and hand the strip off to my MW. My MW did give me shit for not eating or drinking enough that day (apparently those pee strips you do tell a LOT more than I knew), so I need to be more conscientious about my food and drink intake, especially when I get busy.
Another question I get is about whether I have to weigh in at every appointment. I do, but it's not as strict as most MW/OB practices. She has a normal bathroom scale, and I step on and report to her what it says. At my last appointment, I forgot to step on the scale, but she asked me about my weight gain and I told her what I'd gained, and she was happy with it. It's kind of nice to not have 'scale stress' at every appointment!
Also on the baby front, I am really feeling this baby move now. I've been feeling 'flutters' and 'bubbles' since I was about 12 weeks along, but now it's real movement I am feeling. I forgot how awesome this part of pregnancy is! It really drives home for me that I need to take more time to focus on myself and prepping for this birth.
In other news, Darrick underwent rotator cuff (shoulder) surgery on Tuesday of this week. Back in mid-August, he tore a ligament in a jiu-jitsu tournament, and he needed to have it repaired. He's on fall break right now, so he thought that would be the best time to do it. The surgery went really well, and the Dr was confident he'd recover quickly and fully. In the meantime, though, he's going to have to take it very easy and he's dealing with a significant amount of pain. It's been rough on him to have to get help with things like putting on a shirt, and Luca's had to learn that Daddy has an 'owie' and be gentle with him. But he's doing pretty great and I have no doubt he'll recover like a champ. :)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
"I bet you're having twins!"
Next to, "Are you hoping you get YOUR boy this time?", "I bet you're having twins!" (or some variation of this comment) is the second most common thing I've heard this pregnancy. Now, if I was showing already or had piled on the pounds I'd expect it, but neither has ocurred.
Fast forward, then, to today. Darrick and I decided to have a voluntary 1st trimester test done, called the Nuchal Translucency scan. It's an in-depth ultrasound, which you can read about here, as well as a complementary blood test. Neither the ultrasound nor the blood screening can tell you 100% for certain whether your child is going to have Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13, or Trisomy 18. They are simply screening tests which factor in several variables and give you a breakdown of what the chances are your baby harbors one of those diseases.
I've been told I'm not your typical homebirther, because most moms in my situation opt out of the test. Many cite its inconclusive nature, some the cost, others the fact it wouldn't change what they would do with the pregnancy (I can only assume they mean they would not terminate a pregnancy if the baby is determined to have high probability of one of these diseases). We, however, are believers in using the technology available to us in order to learn the most we can about this baby, and prepare ourselves in whatever way WE feel appropriate for the birth of this child. We knew we were not the 'typical' homebirthers in this sense, if for no other reason than our midwife has never had a client who asked for a referral for this testing. But who needs typical? I say...women and their partners should do what works for them!
All that said, today we went in for the ultrasound and accompanying bloodwork. And more than anything, all those 'twins' comments must have infected my psyche, because the first question I asked was not, "Does the baby look ok?"...it was, "There's only ONE in there, right???". And there was only one, so hooray for that!!
Anyhow, we have no real results for now, so I'll save that news for when we have some actual news to share. But we did get pictures....so I'm going to share some here. I fully expect that the only people who will be able to decipher these are other parents, but that's ok with me!
Fast forward, then, to today. Darrick and I decided to have a voluntary 1st trimester test done, called the Nuchal Translucency scan. It's an in-depth ultrasound, which you can read about here, as well as a complementary blood test. Neither the ultrasound nor the blood screening can tell you 100% for certain whether your child is going to have Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13, or Trisomy 18. They are simply screening tests which factor in several variables and give you a breakdown of what the chances are your baby harbors one of those diseases.
I've been told I'm not your typical homebirther, because most moms in my situation opt out of the test. Many cite its inconclusive nature, some the cost, others the fact it wouldn't change what they would do with the pregnancy (I can only assume they mean they would not terminate a pregnancy if the baby is determined to have high probability of one of these diseases). We, however, are believers in using the technology available to us in order to learn the most we can about this baby, and prepare ourselves in whatever way WE feel appropriate for the birth of this child. We knew we were not the 'typical' homebirthers in this sense, if for no other reason than our midwife has never had a client who asked for a referral for this testing. But who needs typical? I say...women and their partners should do what works for them!
All that said, today we went in for the ultrasound and accompanying bloodwork. And more than anything, all those 'twins' comments must have infected my psyche, because the first question I asked was not, "Does the baby look ok?"...it was, "There's only ONE in there, right???". And there was only one, so hooray for that!!
Anyhow, we have no real results for now, so I'll save that news for when we have some actual news to share. But we did get pictures....so I'm going to share some here. I fully expect that the only people who will be able to decipher these are other parents, but that's ok with me!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
1st Appointment.
We had our first appointment with our Midwife and her Apprentice today. It was great! The midwife we chose does appointments at the office in her house, and lives in an acre with dogs, cats, horses, and chickens. We got there a little early, so Luca played with 2 of their cats and a dog who were on the porch outside, and we talked to MW's husband, who was sipping a cup of coffee on the porch swing (how freaking idyllic is that???). When she was ready for us, we went in and went over our paperwork, and she asked us if we'd be willing to be part of a study on homebirth (looks at risk factors, care, nutrition, and outcomes for mom and baby) and we said yes. She also gave me a nutrition tracking form for the next week, and we talked about the importance of protein now to help baby's development, as well as leafy greens to prevent excessive bleeding in labor. The leafy greens, she noted, are most important later in pregnancy. The protein, however, needs to be something we watch starting NOW, since I'm not much of a meat eater and eggs are touch and go for me while pregnant.
We also talked about an exercise program to help make labor easier, and a lot about my pregnancy and delivery with Luca. Her Apprentice was there, and when I told her the name of the Midwife who attended our birth with Luca she FLIPPED out, she was so excited I'd worked with her. She then proceeded to tell me some story about a delivery she was at with that MW when she was in school, where the MW actually told the nurse to get the hell out of the room because she was trying to intervene with the baby and the MW knew baby was fine. LOVE it!
There was no physical exam, and no bloodwork yet. I go back in 3 weeks to have the regular bloodwork for the first trimester done. We did listen for the heartbeat, an experience that freaked little Luca out. They have an exam table in the office, so I layed down and let them try to listen with the doppler. As soon as both women were standing over me, Luca got veeeery still on the other side of the room and her lip started to quiver. I could see her eyes were rimming with tears, so I had Darrick grab her and bring her over so she could watch. It took a few minutes, but sure enough we all got to hear the heart beating clearly...our first real sign there is a growing person in there! It was awesome...my husband is SO excited!!
I also had to step on the scale, something no woman looks forward to. I know from weighing myself at home regularly (i.e. obsessively) that I've gained somewhere between 0-1.5 lb so far (it fluctuates all the time). So I got on expecting a certain number and her scale weighed me at 4 pounds less than that. It's not a big deal at all, since her real concern when it comes to weight is not what I weigh NOW, but what I gain between now and the end. She didn't give me a goal or a range, just stressed a healthy diet.
All in all, we are so happy we picked her, and we really like her Apprentice as well. When we left today, we both were really excited and it really hit us that we're doing this! It's a tiny bit scary and overwhelming, but between those two women, they have 13 kids and 9 of them were born at home. I think we're in capable hands.
We also talked about an exercise program to help make labor easier, and a lot about my pregnancy and delivery with Luca. Her Apprentice was there, and when I told her the name of the Midwife who attended our birth with Luca she FLIPPED out, she was so excited I'd worked with her. She then proceeded to tell me some story about a delivery she was at with that MW when she was in school, where the MW actually told the nurse to get the hell out of the room because she was trying to intervene with the baby and the MW knew baby was fine. LOVE it!
There was no physical exam, and no bloodwork yet. I go back in 3 weeks to have the regular bloodwork for the first trimester done. We did listen for the heartbeat, an experience that freaked little Luca out. They have an exam table in the office, so I layed down and let them try to listen with the doppler. As soon as both women were standing over me, Luca got veeeery still on the other side of the room and her lip started to quiver. I could see her eyes were rimming with tears, so I had Darrick grab her and bring her over so she could watch. It took a few minutes, but sure enough we all got to hear the heart beating clearly...our first real sign there is a growing person in there! It was awesome...my husband is SO excited!!
I also had to step on the scale, something no woman looks forward to. I know from weighing myself at home regularly (i.e. obsessively) that I've gained somewhere between 0-1.5 lb so far (it fluctuates all the time). So I got on expecting a certain number and her scale weighed me at 4 pounds less than that. It's not a big deal at all, since her real concern when it comes to weight is not what I weigh NOW, but what I gain between now and the end. She didn't give me a goal or a range, just stressed a healthy diet.
All in all, we are so happy we picked her, and we really like her Apprentice as well. When we left today, we both were really excited and it really hit us that we're doing this! It's a tiny bit scary and overwhelming, but between those two women, they have 13 kids and 9 of them were born at home. I think we're in capable hands.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Weird Realization.
I just realized I posted about being 8 weeks pregnant....and last time, 8 weeks was when I had my first appoitment with my OB's office. This is just one of the many differences between an OB's office midwife and a private midwife. When I interviewed homebirth midwives a few weeks back, they all said, "We CAN see you whenever, but before 12 weeks, all we'll do is tell you to get your rest and take your vitamins." And, truth be told, I am kind of appreciating this laid-back approach to prenatal care. I think if this was my first pregnancy I'd be more worried about things and more anxious to start appointments. I remember with Luca, I knew at 4 weeks, and waiting until 8 weeks to see the midwife was a form of torture like none other. Mind you, at the first appointment, nothing at ALL exciting happened. But it still made it real and official....and that was something I was SO eager to have happen.
This time, though....I think my whole approach is more calm and relaxed. I am pretty sure things are ok, and if they aren't, a Dr's visit won't change that right now. I have to leave things up to faith and chance, and I'm able to do that and to just believe it'll work out for the best.
So when I do start seeing my midwife at 12 weeks, I'll have some bloodwork done, and I'll also get a referral for the nuchal translucency test and AFP bloodwork. A lot of homebirth families opt out of this testing, which is done in the first trimester (11-12 weeks is ideal timing) to test for markers via ultrasound and blood test of what could be Down Syndrom or Trisomy. To us, this is important and something we really believe in having done. We do have to pay for it ourselves, but we're willing.
The catch to this is that we also have to choose whether or not to pay for what many women refer to as the 'BIG' ultrasound...the one typically done between 18 and 22 weeks. This ultrasound can generally tell you the sex of your baby, although this time around I don't think we're going to opt to know that. It also (and more importantly) includes measurements and screenings to make sure vital organs are functioning and developed properly, there are no signs of a cleft palate, and development is on track. Some argue it's not a necessary procedure, unless there are other signs the baby may not be growing properly. It's another procedure we'll be paying for out of pocket should we opt to have it done.
The other 'basic' tests and procedures done in pregnancy are included in the cost of hiring our midwife. So...now...I just need to stop procrastinating and HIRE her.
This time, though....I think my whole approach is more calm and relaxed. I am pretty sure things are ok, and if they aren't, a Dr's visit won't change that right now. I have to leave things up to faith and chance, and I'm able to do that and to just believe it'll work out for the best.
So when I do start seeing my midwife at 12 weeks, I'll have some bloodwork done, and I'll also get a referral for the nuchal translucency test and AFP bloodwork. A lot of homebirth families opt out of this testing, which is done in the first trimester (11-12 weeks is ideal timing) to test for markers via ultrasound and blood test of what could be Down Syndrom or Trisomy. To us, this is important and something we really believe in having done. We do have to pay for it ourselves, but we're willing.
The catch to this is that we also have to choose whether or not to pay for what many women refer to as the 'BIG' ultrasound...the one typically done between 18 and 22 weeks. This ultrasound can generally tell you the sex of your baby, although this time around I don't think we're going to opt to know that. It also (and more importantly) includes measurements and screenings to make sure vital organs are functioning and developed properly, there are no signs of a cleft palate, and development is on track. Some argue it's not a necessary procedure, unless there are other signs the baby may not be growing properly. It's another procedure we'll be paying for out of pocket should we opt to have it done.
The other 'basic' tests and procedures done in pregnancy are included in the cost of hiring our midwife. So...now...I just need to stop procrastinating and HIRE her.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
More midwives.
On Saturday, we had two more meetings set with midwives. One was first thing in the morning, and one was set for late afternoon.
The morning appointment was with a midwife who lives about 10-15 minutes southeast of us, on a farm with real live chickens and goats and horses. Her house has a green roof, and 2 cats were walking the edge of the patio's railing while a big, old looking dog slumbered on the porch. Idyllic, I tell ya. The midwife herself is probably in her early 50s (she looked younger, but she mentioned having turned 50), and immediately she was very warm and welcoming. Her office was a large room in the back of her house, with an exam table, a low futon (I'm sensing a theme here), and a desk. She also had a yoga ball floating around, as well as a mini table with mini chairs and toys for kids accompanying their parents. The floors were dark cherry wood, and attached to the room was a bathroom with what appeared to be a large bath/shower. We sat on the futon, Luca immediately made herself at home playing with the blocks, and the MW sat in a chair facing us.
She asked us some general questions about Luca's birth and about us (what do we do for a living...what do we want from this birth...), and then she told us about her. About how she has 7 children and several grand children. About how she started as a doula and has been a MW since 2001. About how her first births were in a hospital, and her last were at home. She talked some about her rules for who she will work with, her expectations and ours, and answered the basics like transport rate to the hospital (about 5% which seems to be industry standard) and why she transports (erratic heart rate between contractions, broken water for more than 24 hours with no contractions, etc.). But more than that, we felt her out, and she did the same with us. By the time we left an hour later, send on our way with a warm hug, my husband was already telling me he thought she was 'it'. I kind of was feeling the same.
But, anothe appointment was on the agenda. So we would go to that one and see.
And go we did, but just Luca and me, since Darrick had something come up and I wasn't too strict about him being there. This next appointment was in Mesa, about a 20 minutes drive from home. On the website were pictures of what looked like a nice historic home...but reality fell a little short. After a search for the correct office, I walked through an open door and was met by a midwife who looked nothing like the woman on the website. I said, "Hi, I'm Katie." From the other room came another woman, the face from the website, but with a blank expression of sorts. I said, "Sorry I'm a few minutes late and my husband couldn't make it, but I'm here."
"Did you have an appointment?"
Flash back to the Saturday before, when I made the appointment for 4 pm. Flash a little more current to Thursday morning, when I had a voicemail from the MW asking where I was, since we had a 10 am appointment. I called her back, and we straightened it out (techincal glitch with her blackberry). And now, 3 phone calls later, and she couldn't remember my appointment?
"Yup. Originally it was at 4, but we moved it to 4:30. We talked? On Thursday?"
She sat at her desk and opened a planner, saw my name penciled in, and seem satisfied I wasn't fucking with her. THIS was a much rockier start than I'd hoped for. But, as we sat and talked I realized I really really liked her. As opposed to the midwife I'd met that morning, this one was a bit younger, more activist than nurterer, but that was ok with me. And I clicked with her pretty well. Her office was 3 room: a main meeting room, an exam room, and a classroom where she holds birth classes and prenatal yoga and mom's groups. Pretty neat all in all.
So now I was torn. Three midwives, all capable and kind and with different personalities. Did we want the first midwife: tattoos, hippie-ish, spiritual without being overt, very mother-earthy? The second midwife: gentle, quiet, calming influence who's laid back style meshes with our own? Or the third midwife: perhaps a bit more scattered and slower to warm up, but very thorough and respectful, funny and an activist?
It's a huge decision to make. And there are more women out there we could interview, but that would just muddy the waters more.
So we talked that night and made a decision. And we're happy and confident with it, and we both agreed. So now it's onto the next phase: hiring our midwife of choice and starting to do some work to prep ME for this whole experience. Wish me luck!
The morning appointment was with a midwife who lives about 10-15 minutes southeast of us, on a farm with real live chickens and goats and horses. Her house has a green roof, and 2 cats were walking the edge of the patio's railing while a big, old looking dog slumbered on the porch. Idyllic, I tell ya. The midwife herself is probably in her early 50s (she looked younger, but she mentioned having turned 50), and immediately she was very warm and welcoming. Her office was a large room in the back of her house, with an exam table, a low futon (I'm sensing a theme here), and a desk. She also had a yoga ball floating around, as well as a mini table with mini chairs and toys for kids accompanying their parents. The floors were dark cherry wood, and attached to the room was a bathroom with what appeared to be a large bath/shower. We sat on the futon, Luca immediately made herself at home playing with the blocks, and the MW sat in a chair facing us.
She asked us some general questions about Luca's birth and about us (what do we do for a living...what do we want from this birth...), and then she told us about her. About how she has 7 children and several grand children. About how she started as a doula and has been a MW since 2001. About how her first births were in a hospital, and her last were at home. She talked some about her rules for who she will work with, her expectations and ours, and answered the basics like transport rate to the hospital (about 5% which seems to be industry standard) and why she transports (erratic heart rate between contractions, broken water for more than 24 hours with no contractions, etc.). But more than that, we felt her out, and she did the same with us. By the time we left an hour later, send on our way with a warm hug, my husband was already telling me he thought she was 'it'. I kind of was feeling the same.
But, anothe appointment was on the agenda. So we would go to that one and see.
And go we did, but just Luca and me, since Darrick had something come up and I wasn't too strict about him being there. This next appointment was in Mesa, about a 20 minutes drive from home. On the website were pictures of what looked like a nice historic home...but reality fell a little short. After a search for the correct office, I walked through an open door and was met by a midwife who looked nothing like the woman on the website. I said, "Hi, I'm Katie." From the other room came another woman, the face from the website, but with a blank expression of sorts. I said, "Sorry I'm a few minutes late and my husband couldn't make it, but I'm here."
"Did you have an appointment?"
Flash back to the Saturday before, when I made the appointment for 4 pm. Flash a little more current to Thursday morning, when I had a voicemail from the MW asking where I was, since we had a 10 am appointment. I called her back, and we straightened it out (techincal glitch with her blackberry). And now, 3 phone calls later, and she couldn't remember my appointment?
"Yup. Originally it was at 4, but we moved it to 4:30. We talked? On Thursday?"
She sat at her desk and opened a planner, saw my name penciled in, and seem satisfied I wasn't fucking with her. THIS was a much rockier start than I'd hoped for. But, as we sat and talked I realized I really really liked her. As opposed to the midwife I'd met that morning, this one was a bit younger, more activist than nurterer, but that was ok with me. And I clicked with her pretty well. Her office was 3 room: a main meeting room, an exam room, and a classroom where she holds birth classes and prenatal yoga and mom's groups. Pretty neat all in all.
So now I was torn. Three midwives, all capable and kind and with different personalities. Did we want the first midwife: tattoos, hippie-ish, spiritual without being overt, very mother-earthy? The second midwife: gentle, quiet, calming influence who's laid back style meshes with our own? Or the third midwife: perhaps a bit more scattered and slower to warm up, but very thorough and respectful, funny and an activist?
It's a huge decision to make. And there are more women out there we could interview, but that would just muddy the waters more.
So we talked that night and made a decision. And we're happy and confident with it, and we both agreed. So now it's onto the next phase: hiring our midwife of choice and starting to do some work to prep ME for this whole experience. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
A Coming Out of Sorts.
I have a good friend...I'll call her K. K and I have known each other for almost 9 years now, and we get along great. Last round of babies, she was due 3 months before I was, which was fabulous because nothing beats being pregnant and experiencing new motherhood with a good friend.
K and I had very very different experiences with our medical staff and our births last go-round. The end result was that she feels she was pushed to have an unecessary c-section, and I was able to labor in my own time under my terms. After we both had our little girls, we talked a lot about our experiences: what was good, what was not so good, what we would change, what we regretted.
So, surprise, surprise....guess who's due a month before me this time around?!?! Both K and I couldn't be more excited to know we're going through this grand adventure together again. And because of all our talks about our birth experiences, she made the decision to switch to the care of my midwife, who delivered Luca. She's met with her and fallen in love like I knew she would, and she's SO excited about possibly having a VBAC this time around. So, of course, when I first called her with the news that we're due a month after her, she excitedly exclaimed, "How cool! Maybe our appointments will be on the same days and we can go together!!" I didn't quite know what to say, since the midwife who delivered Luca won't likely be the one delivering this next baby (unless she can acommodate me with a home birth), so I said nothing.
I don't really know why I said nothing. This is one of my best friends I was talking to, and she knows me and my husband and even if she thought homebirth was weird, she might tease me but would support me. I knew this, and yet I wasn't ready to share.
Fast forward to today, and K calling me as we're both driving home from work. We talk about how we're feeling (me: shitty. her: shitty, but better than last week) and ouor weekend plans. And as the conversation was wrapping up some, she asked me, "So, when's your first appointment?"
The conversation:
Me: "Um...well...I don't know yet. I haven't really made one."
K: "Why not?"
M: "Well, Um...they don't see you until 8 weeks and I haven't called yet."
K: "Oh, you better get on that. Wonder if we'll be on the same days?"
M: "Um, yeah...well....the thing is...I'm not sure I'm going to go back to that office." :::SILENCE::: "Um, I mean, I LOVE the midwife, and I'd LOVE for her to deliver my next baby but...well...our insurance doesn't cover maternity."
K: "Wow. You must have been pissed to find that out after getting pregnant."
:::insert long conversation about how I already knew, and the skyrocketing costs of paying for our old insurance plus 20% copay vs paying ourselves, as well as some ranting over the abysmal condition of the health care industry in America:::
K: "So, if you're paying out of pocket, why can't you still use her?"
M: "Well, if we need to we will, but we're shopping our options."
K: "Meaning?"
M: "Um...well...midwives...and things like that....maybe delivering outside the hospital....like, at home?"
K: "Wow. You could totally do that."
So....it turns out I needn't have worried. Like all my wonderful friends, K was supportive and all for it. It was a relief, too, to 'out' ourselves to her, since I can't imagine keeping our plans a secret from someone so damn important in our lives.
K and I had very very different experiences with our medical staff and our births last go-round. The end result was that she feels she was pushed to have an unecessary c-section, and I was able to labor in my own time under my terms. After we both had our little girls, we talked a lot about our experiences: what was good, what was not so good, what we would change, what we regretted.
So, surprise, surprise....guess who's due a month before me this time around?!?! Both K and I couldn't be more excited to know we're going through this grand adventure together again. And because of all our talks about our birth experiences, she made the decision to switch to the care of my midwife, who delivered Luca. She's met with her and fallen in love like I knew she would, and she's SO excited about possibly having a VBAC this time around. So, of course, when I first called her with the news that we're due a month after her, she excitedly exclaimed, "How cool! Maybe our appointments will be on the same days and we can go together!!" I didn't quite know what to say, since the midwife who delivered Luca won't likely be the one delivering this next baby (unless she can acommodate me with a home birth), so I said nothing.
I don't really know why I said nothing. This is one of my best friends I was talking to, and she knows me and my husband and even if she thought homebirth was weird, she might tease me but would support me. I knew this, and yet I wasn't ready to share.
Fast forward to today, and K calling me as we're both driving home from work. We talk about how we're feeling (me: shitty. her: shitty, but better than last week) and ouor weekend plans. And as the conversation was wrapping up some, she asked me, "So, when's your first appointment?"
The conversation:
Me: "Um...well...I don't know yet. I haven't really made one."
K: "Why not?"
M: "Well, Um...they don't see you until 8 weeks and I haven't called yet."
K: "Oh, you better get on that. Wonder if we'll be on the same days?"
M: "Um, yeah...well....the thing is...I'm not sure I'm going to go back to that office." :::SILENCE::: "Um, I mean, I LOVE the midwife, and I'd LOVE for her to deliver my next baby but...well...our insurance doesn't cover maternity."
K: "Wow. You must have been pissed to find that out after getting pregnant."
:::insert long conversation about how I already knew, and the skyrocketing costs of paying for our old insurance plus 20% copay vs paying ourselves, as well as some ranting over the abysmal condition of the health care industry in America:::
K: "So, if you're paying out of pocket, why can't you still use her?"
M: "Well, if we need to we will, but we're shopping our options."
K: "Meaning?"
M: "Um...well...midwives...and things like that....maybe delivering outside the hospital....like, at home?"
K: "Wow. You could totally do that."
So....it turns out I needn't have worried. Like all my wonderful friends, K was supportive and all for it. It was a relief, too, to 'out' ourselves to her, since I can't imagine keeping our plans a secret from someone so damn important in our lives.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Meeting
On Monday, went and met with our first midwife candidate. Her office is kind of a drive from our house, but not too bad, especially since she does appointments on Saturdays.
She's in what looks like an older home converted to an office, and she shares space with a yoga studio and something else...not sure what, exactly. We were let in by one of the other women working in one of the offices, and directed to the Midwife's office area. It was a decent sized room with a low futon, desk, and exam table. The exam table was covered with a brown cloth, and above it hung a purple pendant. Behind it, covering the wall, was a cranberry colored gauzy fabric. The floor of her office was exposed cement, and all over were pictures of her 5 (!) kids, as well as things like toys, seashells, and a birth doll and cloth pelvis. My husband kept commenting how how much he liked her office and its 'hippie' vibe. It was pretty cute.
The midwife was SUPER nice and really normal and easy to talk to. We talked a bit about her experience and what led her to midwifery, her rates of episiotomies (almost none) and transfers in labor (2 of 40 births last year), what we envisioned for our care, what her costs include, etc. We got along really well, and my husband liked her a lot, which is nice. She asked some questions about my history and Luca's birth, to make sure I'd be a good candidate, and told me we are 'ideal candidates' for home birth.
All the while, Luca tooled around the office barefoot, playing with the birth doll and the toy blood pressure cuff. Lu was also really interested in the MW's tattoos...one on each wrist, wrapping over the tops of her hands. Every once in awhile, she'd toddle over, grab one of her hands and trace a tattoo, and then pat her leg and walk away. Very sweet.
One extra selling point for her that some may find odd: she is not an overly religious person. Darrick and I are spiritual, but not religious, and in our search for a Midwife, we have noticed SO many of their sites referencing God and His role in birth, or quoting psalms. Don't get me wrong, neither of us has ONE SINGLE PROBLEM with people having strong religious conviction and building their work around it. But, all the same, I'm not into someone being there for my birth who is overly religious and lets it bleed into my care. I just keep picturing us hiring a religious midwife, and her directing me, "Push for Jesus, honey!" and me wanting to push her head under the water in the birthing pool.
So, we talked about this a lot before deciding who to interview, and we feel good about our 3 candidates. While they all MAY BE religious, none of them have it broadcasted all over their websites. I guess Darrick took it for granted that I would KNOW this MW was not religious, because in the middle of the interview, he blurted out, "We are so glad you're not a religious FREAK." Once I recovered from my shock, I realized the MW was laughing and took the comment in stride. I explained we don't care if our MW is religious, we're just not comfortable with her religion infringing on our birth experience. I referenced the websites with psalms and whatnot, and was SO happy to hear her response: "If you're hiring a midwife who tells you if things go wrong she'll be praying for you, you may want to ask what you're paying her for. There's spirituality in birth, and then there's science and knowledge. And science and knowledge HAVE TO win if you want good outcomes."
Ahhhhhh....what a fucking relief to hear her say that...AND to know my dear husband didn't scare her off!!!
So...we really like her! I told her we are interviewing two other women to possibly go with, but we'll get back to her soon. I could TOTALLY see hiring this midwife, but I feel like we owe it to ourselves to at least talk to a few others and see who all if out there. So on we go!
She's in what looks like an older home converted to an office, and she shares space with a yoga studio and something else...not sure what, exactly. We were let in by one of the other women working in one of the offices, and directed to the Midwife's office area. It was a decent sized room with a low futon, desk, and exam table. The exam table was covered with a brown cloth, and above it hung a purple pendant. Behind it, covering the wall, was a cranberry colored gauzy fabric. The floor of her office was exposed cement, and all over were pictures of her 5 (!) kids, as well as things like toys, seashells, and a birth doll and cloth pelvis. My husband kept commenting how how much he liked her office and its 'hippie' vibe. It was pretty cute.
The midwife was SUPER nice and really normal and easy to talk to. We talked a bit about her experience and what led her to midwifery, her rates of episiotomies (almost none) and transfers in labor (2 of 40 births last year), what we envisioned for our care, what her costs include, etc. We got along really well, and my husband liked her a lot, which is nice. She asked some questions about my history and Luca's birth, to make sure I'd be a good candidate, and told me we are 'ideal candidates' for home birth.
All the while, Luca tooled around the office barefoot, playing with the birth doll and the toy blood pressure cuff. Lu was also really interested in the MW's tattoos...one on each wrist, wrapping over the tops of her hands. Every once in awhile, she'd toddle over, grab one of her hands and trace a tattoo, and then pat her leg and walk away. Very sweet.
One extra selling point for her that some may find odd: she is not an overly religious person. Darrick and I are spiritual, but not religious, and in our search for a Midwife, we have noticed SO many of their sites referencing God and His role in birth, or quoting psalms. Don't get me wrong, neither of us has ONE SINGLE PROBLEM with people having strong religious conviction and building their work around it. But, all the same, I'm not into someone being there for my birth who is overly religious and lets it bleed into my care. I just keep picturing us hiring a religious midwife, and her directing me, "Push for Jesus, honey!" and me wanting to push her head under the water in the birthing pool.
So, we talked about this a lot before deciding who to interview, and we feel good about our 3 candidates. While they all MAY BE religious, none of them have it broadcasted all over their websites. I guess Darrick took it for granted that I would KNOW this MW was not religious, because in the middle of the interview, he blurted out, "We are so glad you're not a religious FREAK." Once I recovered from my shock, I realized the MW was laughing and took the comment in stride. I explained we don't care if our MW is religious, we're just not comfortable with her religion infringing on our birth experience. I referenced the websites with psalms and whatnot, and was SO happy to hear her response: "If you're hiring a midwife who tells you if things go wrong she'll be praying for you, you may want to ask what you're paying her for. There's spirituality in birth, and then there's science and knowledge. And science and knowledge HAVE TO win if you want good outcomes."
Ahhhhhh....what a fucking relief to hear her say that...AND to know my dear husband didn't scare her off!!!
So...we really like her! I told her we are interviewing two other women to possibly go with, but we'll get back to her soon. I could TOTALLY see hiring this midwife, but I feel like we owe it to ourselves to at least talk to a few others and see who all if out there. So on we go!
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