From Surf to Turf in A Week's Time.

The first weekend of December, we celebrated like this:

A few things about these pictures, in no particular order:

~ The green green above is my Grandma's backyard, smack in the middle of not-so-nice LA. And oasis for great grandkids.

~ The beach is Santa Monica

~ It was cold, but during our beach outing the weather was perfect and beautiful

~ Yes, my husband and son went in the water. No, the rest of us did not.

~ Yes, my husband has a black eye. No it's not from me, but from coaching wrestling.

~ Funniest misunderstanding of the trip:  When my aunt asked Darrick about his injury and he said, "I make black guys look good, huh?" And it took all of us about 3 times making him repeat himself before we realized he wasn't being awkwardly racist. "Black EYES. EYES."

~ That matriarchal beauty with my kids is the woman of honor who we traveled to visit: My gramma!

This past weekend, we mixed things up a bit by heading in the other direction:



Notes on these pictures:
~ We cut our tree this yaer just south of Heber. There was about a foot of snow on the ground in most places from a storm during the week.
~ Snow angels are all the rage this year, you know.
~ Also: snowman, complete with charcoal eyes and carrot nose. She left the nose and 'buttons', but insisted we bring home the hat, smile, and eyes.
~ The tree is obscenely large and we love it.
~ We strung white lights and haven't touched the tree since. And we like it that way.

One good thing about Arizona is that we can do this. We can fly to LA one weekend and bask on the beach and love on my grandma, then head up north to tromp in the snow and get cold and drink hot chocolate in the back of my mom's pickup truck the next. I am loving it. I am loving my kids this year and how engaged and excited they are about Christmas.

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Post-Script: We hung our stockings from the banister, though we later had to move them to acommodate the tree. Luca pulled out the stockings we had for our dogs and asked about them. I asked what she wanted to do, and she said, "I want to hang them up, mommy. We should try to remember them all the time. I think it's important." And then tonight I was out finishing my last run of C25K and a little mini pinscher dog came running up to me barking. Her elderly owner was waving frantically from the driveway, no doubt afraid I'd freak or get mad. Without thinking, I called out, "Don't worry! I have dogs!". But I don't, and I still miss them. Rest in peace, little loves.

Puppies, Bellies, and Dancing Queens.

I feel like my dogs get ignored in this blog. Rest assured, in real life they are still the pampered spoiled brats they've always been. I even have photographic evidence of such lady-of-leisureness happening in our house. Behold, Ruby and Miss Piggy:









I love the picture of Ruby's paws because they are delicious slices of corn chip softness. And the Pig pictures are SO Pig. Luca just ADORES them both!

Second, I wanted to address my belly, which is in the words of someone who shall go unnamed to protect her idenity, "Bigger than it's ever been.". It's not just big, it's got it's own life in there, which is incerdible to witness. Andre is moving around all over the place, kicking and punching and rolling and stretching. The other day I think he/she was standing up in there stretching because when I bent to sit down, it felt like there was something blocking me from bending over. As though someone had lodged a broomstick up under my ribcage and I couldn't bend my torso. Bizarre. Here you see some photographic evidence of my belly's expanding size...and I fully admit to only posting semi-flattering pictures, as much as that is possible.





Last, I love the DSLR for its ability to catch Luca's moments of insane cuteness. Sure, I could use some work on the settings and whatnot, but I managed to capture this moment of wild baby dancing. I can't even remember for sure what she was dancing to, but I love the mid-air shot I captured. And I ADORE this amazing kid.

I wanted my kid and my dogs to like each other.

But not THIS much.

Luca's newest thing? Opening her mouth when Ruby kisses her. She thinks it's funny. I think I might throw up.

A lesson for my readers.

I recently received a comment on a VERY old post about my 'evil pit bulls' and how 'vicious' they are to my baby. You can see the post here.

The comment I received was this: "why give pittbulls a bad name they are just the same as every other dog it is how you treat them, then you will see the inner spirit of a dogs mind"

So, I thought a little eplanation might be in order for my readers who may not know me quite so well. I like to use a little tool, which in the literary world, is referred to as IRONY. Please peruse the definitions of irony below, brought to you by our friends at the American Heritage Dictionary. Adam, this one's for you! And welcome to my blog!


American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source - Share This i·ro·ny Audio Help (ī'rə-nē, ī'ər-) Pronunciation Key
n. pl. i·ro·nies

1. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
1. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.
3. A literary style employing such contrasts for humorous or rhetorical effect. See Synonyms at wit1.
4. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: "Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated" (Richard Kain).
A5. n occurrence, result, or circumstance notable for such incongruity. See Usage Note at ironic.

Disturbingly Funny.

Luca has discovered Miss Piggy's nipples.

Miss Piggy is a dog - our dog. She has been in love with Luca almost from the start, and the older Luca gets the more Piggy loves her. I think she's always felt sort of motherly toward Luca, and when Lu was very little, Piggy would sneak up next to her and give her tiny kisses on her hands and, if we weren't diligent enough about preventing it, her little nose. She seemed to know instinctively to be gentle to her, and has never even seemed to consider being annoyed by Luca's crying or grabbing or poking or pinching.

And pinch she does! You see...Luca has recently discovered that Piggy has nipples. EIGHT of them! On her BELLY! And she can PINCH them! Now, you would think that this would be cause for alarm. Perhaps it would change Piggy's mind about Luca and how much she loves her? Maybe it would annoy Piggy just the teensiest bit? Uh, no. Not at all. In fact, the thing about The Pig is that she is desperate for attention and love. We call her Slut Dog for a reason...she loves anyone and everyone, and will practically BEG people to love her back. So you can see why Pig might be more accepting than some other dogs of the nipple tweaking that's been going on of late. But, more than just being accepting, Pig seems to encourage it. She'll spot Luca on the floor, walk over, gently lie on her side with her belly exposed, and lie there patiently while Luca tweaks away.







The even funnier side to this is that Luca has made the 'belly' connection. So she has now started searching for the nipples on all our bellies as well. She'll tweak a few of the Pig nips, then crawl over and lift the shirt of whoever is nearby. Seeing no belly nips, she gives that person's belly a little happy smack, turns around, and continues to tweak Piggy. And on and on, so on and so forth, until we either make Piggy get up and leave (because, really, at SOME point Piggy's acceptance of this ritual goes from funny to moderately disturbing) or Luca loses interest.

Annnnd....I have a feeling this is one of those stories she will NOT be amused by us sharing when she gets older.

Things on my mind.

First, Mere, I hope you are happy. I changed my colors just to please you. See the power you have over me? See?!?!

It's Sunday, my kid is napping (since I typed that out, it's almost a guarantee she will be awake within 4 minutes), and the sun is shining. We had a super busy day yesterday. We were up early and grocery shopping before 8 a.m. I love grocery shopping early on a weekend morning. The best thing about it is that it's typically the parents with little babies, the senior citizens, and the random dude in cycling gear who's stopping in for a Power Bar and a water. I love having the aisles to myself and seeing the stacks of fruits and veggies neatly laid out. On our way out of the store, we saw 3 giant stuffed dogs up by the front of the store. I was carrying Luca, who also saw the dogs and decided that it would be a good time to kick me in the hipbones (oh, who am I kidding? she kicked the fat covering where I can only assume my hipbones are), point, and yell out "DOHG!".

Once we got home, Kristin brought her little girl, Melody, over so we could babysit. Monday is Kristin's birthday (24, version 7.0) so she and her sister had plans to go get mani/pedis and have lunch. K's hubby was at work, so we agreed to watch Melody, who is 3 months older than Luca. The first thing Melody did when they got here was play ball with Luca. They sat facing each other on the floor, and Luca had a big bouncy ball which she pushed toward Melody, and Melody pushed it back. Those girls are bound for Mensa.



Anyhow, as soon as Kristin left, Melody decided she wasn't that into us after all. I ran upstairs to change into some comfy clothes, and Darrick tried his hardest (put on bunny ears, sing a song, wiggle a little, take off bunny ears, show her screaming monkey toy) to amuse her, and still she sat stoic and wouldn't even crack a smile. I jumped in to try to warm her up and she wouldn't crack for me either. Luca even tried to join in by pulling on Melody's shirt and handing her toys. It even got to a point where we started putting stuffed animals on our heads and Melody's (putting a toy of any variety on your head is a sure-fire way to get a laugh from Luca), but no luck. The stuffed bear on her head only succeeded in giving Luca a reason to crawl up Melody's shoulder.






Luca soon decided to take a nap, so I got Melody situated in the stroller to go for a walk. We were out for almost an hour, during which time she was completely silent. This is so foreign to me, because if you put my kid in a stroller, you are guaranteed to hear some noise from her. Generally she's not a huge fan of long walks because she's always got to be doing something and sitting for so long doesn't excite her. Even if she is happy about the walk, she will babble and hum to herself almost the whole time. The silent baby routine was so not something I was used to.



Melody and I got back from our walk and both Darrick and Luca were snoozing. I took her out of the stroller and put her on the floor with a bucket o' fun (plastic pink easter bucket filled with plastic eggs and books). That FINALLY won her over, and she started crawling around and playing like a crazy, happy baby. We had a blast playing together, and when Kristin called to tell me she was on her way to pick Melody up, I was actually kinda sad. Right when Kristin got here, Luca woke from her nap and the two of them played together some. It was so cute to see them being little buddies. Sometimes I look at them and wonder if they will be friends when they get older. It's strange to imagine them in each others' weddings and their kids being friends. I hope it happens...how cool would that be?!?!







Babysitting did give me comfort, though, because I sometimes wonder about Luca's gassiness and poop habits. Yeah, it's gross - whatever. Since she was a baby, she's had Man Farts. People don't believe such giant toots can come from such a small feminine looking baby. But, they can and BOY how they do! Her nanny has 2 grandsons, and I remember her telling me when Luca was about 3 months old that one of the boys heard Luca farting up a storm and was cracking up. I do believe he started the 'man fart' jokes by telling Lu's nanny that she farted like a man.

Anyhow, her other somewhat disturbing quirk involves her poop habits. The poor kid cannot, for the life of her, poop without everyone within a 20-foot radius knowing that's what is going on. First off, she grunts. Loud. Second, her whole face turns red, with the little rims of her eyes turning reddest (most red?), and she kind of quivers a bit. Third, she locks eyes with whoever is closest to her. Yes, friends...my kid likes to make eye contact when pooping. It's almost as though she's saying, "I know you see me pooping. You best get that diaper and a few wipes ready, because I have NO intention of sitting around in this mess."

So, anyhow, I was slightly comforted to realize that, eye-locking gaze nonwithstanding, Melody has the same little habits when it comes to dropping the deuce. I guess, if nothing else, I can at least take comfort in knowing that. And, other moms have told me that when their kiddos started walking, they would actually hide behind furniture to carry out their diaper-dirtying business. Is it wrong that I look forward to those days?

Attack of the Killer Pit Bull

I've been warned. I've been cautioned. I've been downright scolded.

"Pit bulls are mean."
"Don't give a pit bull meat...she'll get a taste for blood!"
"Watch out for that locking jaw!"
"Them's fightin' dogs!"
"I would never have a pit bull around MY kid."
"One day, she'll turn on you."

I never believed my dogs could be mean or hurt anyone. I had no fear of having them in the house with my baby. I should have listened. I should have known better.

Warning: The following evidence that pit bulls truly ARE as bad as everyone told me may be too much for some people to handle. If this is the case for you, avert your eyes.
























Here you see Miss Piggy trying to smother Luca.





And here Luca is crying out to be saved. Can you see the abject HORROR in her eyes?!?!?





Miss Piggy going in for the kill once again.





Attack! Attack! A BRUTAL ear-licking!





Luca tests fate.





Here you see where people were right: Ruby IS, indeed, turning on Luca.